The Unreal World:World Premier
by Rogue-Demon
Summary: PART 3 John, Hank, and Scott must deal with their teen-filled household while on television. Things go AWAL when Retribution X stops by, parties and wrestling matches get thrown, and relatives' make random visits.GUEST APPEARANCES.FINISHED
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Unrecognizable characters are mine except Tara(Takamo), Natasha(xX-Disturbed-Xx). The X-Men, villians, and Pyro all belong to marvel for their creation...so don't sue. There's not much to get anyway from my asylum of a room.   
  
A/N: Third installment of the Angel/Tara series. Just for the sake of no confusion over the first chapter- THIS IS A PROLOGUE. The real story begins in the next chapter THREE AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Enjoy and if you haven't read Hell is Spelled ANGEL and Raised by the X-Men this is useless to you; Minor Distortion will make an appearance or two.This takes place two years after Raised by the X-Men(for those who can't add, Angel and Tara are seventeen).  
  
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A street corner in downtown around midnight. Two 'hookers' stand there; one leans against a stop sign and the other faces her, talking and making gestures with her hands. The one leaning against the stop sign had long dark-colored hair with darker streaks only noticed under the street light; combat boots, fishnet stockings, a short black mini-skirt and an even shorter sapphire blue strappy halter top adorned her body along with black and purple 'slave-like' braclets from ancient times around both wrists. The second one had much shorter hair with a greenish-brown tint; red trainers, black stockings, a slightly longer green mini-skirt and midnight black tank covered hardly any of her body along with white and black braclets from her wrists up to her elbows. A car pulled up at that moment and the window rolled down.........  
  
"Were you two looking for a little action?"  
  
Hesitance for a moment then the shorter of the two leaned down into the window. Her hands rested against the window frame as she smiled, innocently. Whatever she was about to say stopped instantly replaced by, "Oh, shit. Um...Angel?"  
  
She backed away, almost running into her friend. The second girl looked up from picking at the edge of her skirt; one eyebrow raised in question.  
  
Two doors slammed. Both turned to see the two people they had not expected to see cruising the street at this late time, offering them 'a little action' as he'd put it.  
  
Logan's expression darkened. "Tara Toynbee, Angel Blade, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
Remy's expression didn't look any better then his but a little less likely to kill them, instantly. "Dere better be a damn good reason y'petites be out dis late...dey tell Remy if dey want to live for adulthood."  
  
Angel looked down at her outfit, at her wrists, then at Remy.   
  
"With where we're standing, the way we're dressed, and your little comment earlier...you even gotta ask what we're doing?"she asked with a strange touch of "black-attitude"(A/N: this is not racist. it's an attitude my friend has; she calls it her black attitude)and suggestive move of her hips.  
  
Tara smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and fighting back laughter.   
  
The attitude didn't amuse either of their guardians. Logan's reaction was simple- SHINKT. Remy's wasn't so simple but the blazing red cards in his hands showed what it was.  
  
"Um...we're gonna go do our homework."   
  
For the first time fear flickered across the girls' faces. They both took several steps backwards, in the direction of the darkness behind them; there was a new nervousness to their behavior.   
  
Logan smelt fear from both but the strange part was he didn't smell sex on either of them. He was beginning to wonder if they were wrong for a moment until....he thought about it. Not all hookers had sex, some just gave 'favors'.  
  
"Petites, it's time to return to de house. Get in de car."  
  
"It's Ryan and Luke's fault. They told us to do it....it's all their fault." He wasn't sure which one said it but in the next instant both had broken down into sobs. As if for dramatic effect Angel feel to her knees, crying and muttering incoherently. Tara didn't go for quite as dramatic.  
  
Logan stared at them then walked over to stand by them. "If it's their fault why are they at the house waiting for you?"  
  
The tears stopped instantly.  
  
"They're an illusion?"  
  
A single charged card blew up nearby. Tara sought shelter behind Logan, keeping him between her and Remy even when he all but dragged her over to the car and forced her inside.  
  
Remy's reaction wasn't quite so nice. "Angel Elizabeth Blade. Car. Now."  
  
Angel 'slinked' over to him, reminding Logan of a fox. His next thought wasn't healthy or one he should even think about.  
  
The kid actually walked like a hooker.  
  
"Remy, darling, if it helps any I made some money,"she said before batting her eyelashes in a way that usually got her anything she wanted from Remy. "A large sum of money."  
  
"Cher, get in de damn car before Remy charges somet'ing else......not cardlike."  
  
Angel turned off the charm and climbed in, settling back beside Tara.   
  
Logan and Remy traded looks before getting into Scott's car.   
  
Remy looked back to make sure they were okay. Tara slumped in her seat, staring out a window with a look of pure fear while Angel had leaned her head back against the seat, closed her eyes, and proceeded to meditate.  
  
"Maybe this can look up for us, Gumbo....how much money did you kids make?"Logan asked, pulling back onto the road and driving in the opposite direction of the mansion and 'The Unreal World' house.   
  
Tara looked at him in the review mirror. "$300 each. You make a lot of money washing cars, Logan."  
  
Remy laughed, dryly. "Washin' cars, Remy's ass. Hand it over....both of you."  
  
"But, Rems.."  
  
"Aw, Remy..."  
  
His hand appeareared. "Money, petite."  
  
Several groans and mutters later he began counting the money they'd given him. Six hundred dollars exacatly. There was quite a bit of money. Strange since 'working girls' here didn't make that much since most people were married or religious.  
  
"There enough to have a good time, Gumbo?"  
  
"Oui, mon ami. De petites earned $600 together.......to de bar?"  
  
"Ah, hell nah! You're going to use our money to buy alcohol?" Tara's exclamation was colorful and followed by even more colorful words. "Do we get some?"  
  
Remy stared at them in the mirror. "Non, hands. Both of you..."  
  
Two hands, one paler and painted up with black polish, one dark and painted up in blue polish, appeared between the front seats..................  
  
"Nice going, Angel. Last time I do anything with you,"Tara fumed, glowering at her best friend as they were led POLICE STYLE into the bar their legal guardians had stopped at. Her hands were cuffed in front of her and held by Logan  
  
"Not my problem they think we were hookin' it! I can't believe they're using our money to buy alcohol...for them!" Angel pulled on her wrists which were attached to one of Remy's belt loops by a knotted rope that had been laced through the 'braclets' on her wrists.   
  
"Cheer up, kids. At least you get to be in a bar.....maybe if you behave we'll even let you provide entertainment."  
  
"LOGAN!"  
  
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Confused? Strange beginning but just random from the middle of the whole story. Thanks goes to xX-Disturbed-Xx for this horrible little tribute. Next chapter:The real deal-picks up after Tara joins the brotherhood, before the hooker business and before THE UNREAL WORLD:WORLD PREMIER.   
  
If you intend to leave bad reviews, go ahead. This is all a joke and not my best writing. My actual writing can be found on fictionpress under the penname-RadioactiveSlinkyStalker. Read that before you rant about my inability to write. 


	2. Three and a Half Months Earlier

Anything but Ordinary3: With that threat who wouldn't update?  
  
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Remy Lebeau a.k.a. Gambit walked through the mansion, looking in every room for his silent seventeen-year-old ward. It had been over two hours since he'd seen or heard Angel; he was beginning to worry intensly.   
  
Angel had gone back to herself after the first few months that Tara was gone. She was almost normal except for on certain days she went into silent mode and ignored any attempts to talk to her; today was one.   
  
The 12th anniversary of their adoption.  
  
"Angel!"  
  
No response came except Logan's growl of,"Kitchen."  
  
Remy hurried down the stairs and toward the kitchen, entering and looking around. He sighed in relief when he noticed Angel Blade sitting at the table, reading through some book that lay open before her; a half-eaten package of crackers and kool-aid sat beside her.  
  
Nothing had really changed in two years except she's stopped growing and lost a bit of weight since she rarely ate anything else. The black jeans and navy sweater she wore were too big even though Rogue had bought them for her last Christmas, barely five months ago. Boots encased her legs up to the knees along with the hair holder around her dark hair.  
  
"Mon ange, Remy don' t'ink dat count as food..."  
  
She shrugged without lifting her head. "Crackers and kool-aid are food, Remy dear. They eat 'em on Seasame Street all the time.."  
  
Remy shook his head. "Non, dere be a full pot of Jambalaya on de stove. Why y'not eat dat, petite?"  
  
"I'm not that hungry, Remy...do you know what today is?"she questioned, quietly, folding the book shut and looking up at him. Her eyes had lost most of their usual excitment as she watched him. "Twelve years ago today Tara and I were adopted. Neat, huh?"  
  
"Mon ange, de past be over. The petite's brother say she be well,"he told her. He fixed a bowl then set it before her, putting the crackers back in the cabinet. He gave her a spoon then watched her play with the dark colored concoction. "Y'really should make more friends..."  
  
Angel took a bite of his Jambalaya then another, chewing incredibly slow. Her words were measured when she finally spoke.  
  
"I don't need friends, Remy. I have plenty...you, Rogue, David, uh..." She stopped.  
  
She'd probaly realized her options were limited since she rarely left the institute. Outside of going shopping with Rogue or taking David places she didn't leave unless forced; it took threatening to get her to do either of those.   
  
Logan was the exact opposite now. He left most of the time and no one knew when he returned; no one bothered with asking since he'd never tell.  
  
Remy sighed and placed his hand on the one of hers that laid beside her still almost full bowl. "Angel, for Remy's sake will y'return to de high school?"he questioned, knowing how she'd answer.  
  
Angel pulled her hand away, beginning to twirl a lock of hair, absently. She stared out the window behind him, continuing the annoying motion of twirling her hair. Seven months of practice made the pose almost a perfect replication of some in a trance; Remy didn't buy it.   
  
"Dat's not gonna work, cher. Remy t'ink dat it might help if de angel had more friends...dat's why Remy made plans."  
  
"What plans?" The facade was instantly forgotten.   
  
"It be a suprise, mon ange, but Remy had Roguey pack y'stuff. It's time to go..."  
  
She stared at him, blankly. She didn't move to get up but crossed one leg over the other, leaning back in her chair. One eyebrow raised in question at his words; she didn't look pleased and her empathy wasn't helping since she probaly picked up on his anger and nervousness.  
  
"What did you do, cher?"she asked, mocking his accent, lightly. "Send me to boarding or military school?"  
  
Remy shook his head. "Non, cher. It be reality tv..."  
  
"Uh-uh...no, Remy LePew. I am not going on reality tv where they ask you to share your problems then poll the audience for what to do."   
  
Before Remy could react Angel had jumped up and taken off running out the side door of the mansion. He cursed and ran after her, catching up to her just as she ran straight into...Kurt.  
  
"Let go of me!" She struggled when Kurt caught her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.  
  
"Fine my sister, Remy. She vill know vhat to do vith ze Angelic one..."  
  
"Kurt Wagner, you put me down this instant!"  
  
Remy listened to her rants until he'd vanished up the staircase of the mansion, only then did they fade into silence. A few moments later and Rogue was downstairs with him. The second they hit the first floor landing her ranting picked back up.  
  
"...let go of me. I ain't seeing another psycho who needs more therapy then me, especially one of tv. LET GO OF ME!"  
  
"Angel, stop fightin'. I'm here,"Rogue soothed, nodding for Kurt to release her.  
  
He hesitated but did. Angel instantly went to Rogue; moisture glittered at the lower part of her eyes when she looked at them again. This time it wasn't an act.  
  
Angel's first therapy session hadn't gone so well especially when she trashed the doctor's office, throwing several chairs and other patient forms out the window. She hadn't returned since nor had any of the other X-Men. The temper part of her 'grieving' had vanished.  
  
"Angel, sugah, I'm real sorry about this..."  
  
Remy felt bad when Rogue placed her hand against the girl's cheek, even worse when she collapased into Kurt's waiting arms. It wasn't the greatest feeling in the world to trick a seventeen-year-old who had already gone through more then most people her age ever would.  
  
"Remy promise dis be for y'own good, mon ange...  
  
BROTHERHOOD HEADQUARTERS (SAME TIME)  
  
"Tara, Dad wants to see you..."  
  
Tara Toynbee looked up from where she had been working on something for Toad. She rolled her eyes at the sight of Natasha Creed, leaning against one of the work tables.  
  
"Tell Vicky I don't feel like playing any games where I get abused right now,"she muttered, tossing a wrench into the drawer. "Is it about Mort?"  
  
"Nope, not about your brother. Dad just said to tell you he needed to talk to us both...Mags and Mystic are both out...come on."  
  
"Is Mort--Toad here or still out on his mission?"Tara questioned, wiping her hands first on a rag then on the black jeans she wore; she didn't appear fazed by the news of wanting to be seen.  
  
Normally Sabertooth calling on her would mean she'd done something wrong or Toad had and that he wanted to give her a 'lecture'. His last lecture had left her with a broken wrist, multiple body injuries, and a slight concussion to her head. Great lecture, huh?  
  
Natasha played with a wrench on the work bench. "Still out...Dad won't do anything, Tara. I'm sure it's just routine proccedure or about our grades. You have nothing to worry about; you're a genius after all!"  
  
Tara rolled her eyes and walked with her friend out of the hangar. The metal walls echoed their words back on each side.   
  
Despite the fact that Minor Threat had never met again or practiced since she joined the brotherhood, having Natasha around kind of helped. Kind of. Natasha wasn't the same as having Angel around.  
  
Angel. Someone she thought about constantly but figured probaly never thought about her. Who remembered their best friend of ten years?  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when she ran into a wall. She rubbed her head and glowered at it. "Bad wall. I was walking there..."  
  
"Riiight, wrong direction,"Natasha pointed out, taking hold of her arm and pulling her off into a diffrent hall. A few moments later they reached the 'meeting' room which was really just another excuse for Magneto to summon them somewhere other then 'the metal room'. "  
  
Saber was waiting when the two entered the meeting room and took seats at the opposite end of the table. He didn't look at all happy or like he wanted to see them.  
  
Tara didn't say anything but simply stared at the table. She hated meeting his gaze because it reminded her of Logan without the amusement that had always been in Logan's expressions.  
  
Logan. He'd probaly left the second she was gone. She'd been nothing but burden to him from the moment she found his alcohol stash and got drunk twelve years before; he'd never said it directly but his behavior said it all.  
  
Saber glared at his daughter who had begun to chew a piece of gum, popping bubbles every few minutes.  
  
"That would be enough, Tasha. Magneto would like you two to join a mutant/homo sapien reality tv show in the hopes of recruiting several....powerful and standard mutants."  
  
"Reality tv?"Natasha scoffed. "Mags finally lost it."  
  
"Tasha." His tone was warning. "One of the mutants could be vital to the Brotherhood....you two leave tomorrow. Go pack."  
  
Tara stared at him. "Does Toad know about this?"she demanded, not liking the idea of leaving before her brother returned.  
  
"He authorized it. Packing, Tara, Tasha...seven o'clock tomorrow...go."  
  
TWO HOURS LATER  
  
"Dammnit, I don't wanna leave, Mort!"  
  
Toad shrugged at his sister's rant. "There's not much of a choice here on your part, Tadpole. Maybe if you're away from Saber you won't get anymore not neccessary abuse..."  
  
"Bull shit!"  
  
"Yeah, I love you too. Have you packed?"(A/N: see bottom to understand the "bull shit" thing)  
  
Tara glowered then handed him a wrench when he held out his hand.  
  
"I'm not leaving. End of discussion."  
  
"Go pack...."  
  
"If I don't?"she replied even though she rarely argued witht her brother. He was the only person there who really cared for her aside from Tasha's friendship. "What will you do if I don't?"  
  
"Pack for you. Who's packing?"  
  
She stared at him, irritated. Toad stared back at her, smirking.   
  
Several minutes later she gave up and began to walk out of the hangar. Her expression and the stiffness of her back showed she wasn't pleased.  
  
"Tara."  
  
She turned back.  
  
"It's not as bad as you think. I heard some things about this show, The Unreal World? Give it time...maybe you'll even see some old friends."  
  
Tara laughed and walked out, footsteps echoing.   
  
Toad smirked and drew out the paper he'd recieved from Magneto. Several names were circled with an arrow pointing at them.  
  
Kellie Senthesis.  
  
Russ Collins.  
  
Corey Desmonds.  
  
Angel Blade-Lebeau.  
  
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I love you has eight letters; so does bull shit. It's a joke from one of my sister's icons. Next chapter: reunion between friends and new meetings with some strange characters. 


	3. Mr Orleans and the Spoons Reunion Connec...

Remy Lebeau regretted his actions with Angel through Rogue and Kurt the instant she came awake. All hell broke lose when she came to in a strange house, an even stranger bedroom and with a camera staring at her.  
  
"REMY LEBEAU, I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"she screeched in a voice that could rival banshee and make Logan cringe from the other side of the mansion. "REMY!"  
  
Remy appeared at the doorway to the bedroom. "Y'called, mon ange?"he questioned, idly shuffling a deck of cards. His expression was cocky and smirking until one of her shoes hit him the chest; the second time the incident had occured. "Angel!"  
  
"I told you I wasn't going on this friggin' reality show! You never listen to me or what I want...I hate you and I hate Rogue for touching me and Kurt for holding me. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."  
  
He yawned,"Done yet, cher?"  
  
Her rage deflated as she stood from the bed, straightening her clothes. "I'm done...why's this so important, Remy? I don't want to waste time with some tv psychiatrist that'll try to explain my problems,"Angel stated as if it explained everything. She walked to him and took the deck from his hands, not bothering to put her shoes back on; she shuffled it with only a little less grace then him.  
  
"It just be, cher, Roguey said she be sorry..." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her downstairs, ignoring the fact that she dropped several of his cards in the process. More of his cards had been lost by her then he'd ever used in battle against anyone even during his not so good-guy days.   
  
"I still don't like you right now. Don't touch me..." She shoved his arm away and tossed the remaining cards over the side of the stairwell; someone yelled an obscenity.   
  
"Careful, petite!"  
  
Angel rolled her eyes, already jumping over the railing to land on the floor. Her footing almost gave out but she smiled up at Remy before taking off down the hall; he hurried after her.   
  
"ANGEL!"  
  
Her next shriek was of joy instead of rage. "Johnny, you're here!"she all but screamed.  
  
Remy scowled at the sight that greeted him in the living room. Angel's arms were wound tightly around John Allerdyce a.k.a. Pyro's neck and he didn't appear to be objecting too much. His arms held around her waist as he smirked at Remy over her shoulder. The greet was anything but friendly.  
  
"G'day, mate,"John announced much too cheerfully. His smiled showed that the attention didn't bother him in the least. "The shelia and I were just talking, right, Angel?"  
  
"Right, Johnny...whatcha doin' here?" She smiled up at him after releasing his neck from her death grip. "I thought this was 'reality tv'?"  
  
"It is, shelia but....I get to chaperon! Ain't it great?"  
  
"DUDE! That's neat!"   
  
"Non, mon ange, I t'ink it's time to meet de o'der house mates, non?" Remy tightened his grip on her arm then all but hauled her away and out of the room. "Adios, John."  
  
"That's Spanish, Remy.I thought you spoke french...bye, Johnny!"  
  
TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER (TARA'S POV)  
  
"Dad, this is dumb...why do Tara and I got to do this?"   
  
I leaned me head back and closed my eyes, counting to twenty, at Natasha's insistent questioning. It had gone on the entire time we'd driven toward the set of their new reality tv show; me, myselfself, I was still trying to figure out how they got on the thing.  
  
Sabre spoke as if reading my thoughts. "Magneto wanted to recruit some...younger mutants for the Brotherhood. You can gain their trust easier then us...it was a simple matter of sending in tapes of your behavior. You got on..."  
  
Great, show how abused and mistreated I get and put me on tv. Thanks, Vicky, thanks alot. And thanks to you, too, Mortimer Toynbee!  
  
The car slowed down and stopped outside a large house with tons of video equiptment, tv vans, and some expensive looking cars except for several older ones that reminded me of the mansion and Remy's car. A motorcycle also leaned nearby, reminding me of Logan.  
  
I wanted to cry.   
  
Natasha's tapping on the window and Sabre's growl prompted me to get out of the car. I climbed from the vehicle then took my bags from the odd shaped pile in the middle of the parking lot; we looked like a couple of hobos.  
  
"Do you feel as much like a fool as I do?"Natasha asked while we made our way across the parking lot. Some lingering guys made a comment but shut up after Tasha's first attempt to 'reason' with them. The reasoning involved her talons and their throats; things went dead silent.  
  
I sighed,"Please don't kill anyone, Tasha. I'd hate to explain to your uncle and Magneto how you got arrested....ON REALITY TV."  
  
"You suck the fun out of everything, Tara. What would life be like if I didn't get to terrorize some poor stage guys?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno...a little normal?"  
  
"Normal is overrated, kid."   
  
Natasha opened the door, allowing us entry into the mansion. The bags in her hands dropped. "Holy hell! This place is huge...I'm going to like this."  
  
I shrugged. "X-Mansion's bigger. I'd rather be there."  
  
"Don't be a mope,"she replied, already making her way inside and toward the sound of voices while speaking to a camera guy lingering around. "Take care of our stuff. Come on, Tara..."  
  
"Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name..."I mumbled a bit sarcastically but reluctantly followed my friend. The doors in front of us opened to a large room with perfectly arranged furniture; it gave me a sick feeling since I hadn't seen furniture that wasn't made of metal in the last few years.  
  
An incredibly 'greasy' man with slicked back black hair and a turned up mustache, wearing a tacky wanna-be-Armani suit walked...no, make that slithered up to us. His smile was one that reminded at least me of the Grinch; termites could live there, comfortablly.   
  
"You must be Tara Toynbee and Natasha Creed...the others are here. Follow me, ladies,"he said with a cheesy accent that could have been recovered from some old comic boot or tv series. "It's time to meet the other housemates."  
  
"Joy.." I stared at my shoes.  
  
"Notice the bounce in my step and the happiness flowing from me,"Natasha replied, glowering at the guy. A strange resemblence to her father showed.   
  
I shuddered.   
  
Cheesy Accent led ud further into the house toward a pair of closed doors where forces could be heard. There seemed to be several diffrent voices and a few were recognizable, vaguely, in my subconscience; I shook my head, knowing it was the hallucinations. There were frequent hallucinations since the concussion Sabre had given me several months back, about nine.  
  
"Ladies, I present to you the new cast of The Unreal World...Tara, Natasha, these are our other housemates as you will call them. Russ Collins, Corey Desmonds, Kellie and Derek Senthesis, and Angel Blade-Lebeau...your resident advisor Mr. John Allerd--"  
  
I stopped listening when she heard the last name. It had to be a coincidence. Angel Blade had been my best friend from around three to fifteen; our adoption had never gone as far as accepting our 'guardians' last names; maybe Angel had?   
  
I scanned the room, taking in faces. One stood out in particular. The face was paler and with much less color but there was no doubting it.   
  
Angel?I wondered about the girl sitting there for a moment.  
  
As if the thought reached her she suddenly looked up. The light played off her features and Tara knew it was who she had originally thought. Her mind raced for a moment.  
  
"Angel!"  
  
ANGEL'S POV   
  
Mr. Greasy Hair, I mean, Mr. David Orleans has decided to give a speech about house mates. Not that I was paying attention since Russ has been teaching me how to play spoons; it's this real neat game with some spoons he found and a deck of Remy's cards.   
  
Spoons was simple enough. Draw four cards of one kind, pass the bad cards to the left, and when you had four you grabbed a spoon; the other person had to try too. It wasn't working well since the game usually required three people or more.  
  
Something disturbed what little concentration I had managed to gain over my years. A voice thought. Not a difficult or even disturbing thought. It was simple-Angel. I lifted my head and looked around, trying to figure out where the 'voice' or thought came from.   
  
Russ gave me a raised eyebrow look but I ignored it. Something was wrong.   
  
Then I heard it.  
  
"Angel!"  
  
"I know it sounds like Tara but Jean said the pills wouldn't start working yet. There is absolutely no way you are my fifteen-year-old best friend,"I stated, feeling like an idiot.   
  
Silence echoed in the room.  
  
The voice that followed next was that of a five-year-old girl who had played hide and seek with her and tortured their 'respective parents'. "You don't remember me at all? I'm the work of a pill?"  
  
"Stop it! This isn't a funny joke." I close my eyes, not wanting to cry. I had only cried for Tara once and no one had bene around; that wasn't going to change now.  
  
"This is the welcome I get?! You just forget your best friend of almost fourteen years?!? Well fine!"   
  
Something in the tone of voice drew my attention. I looked up and all the resentment, self-doubts, and anger fell away; I felt everything in the room. A lot of confusion, a lot of anguish, and a lot of pain.  
  
Tara had moved to walk away along with our friend from Minor Distortion, Natasha Creed. Her appearance hadn't changed much except she seemed smaller and one of her arms was covered in what might be a makeshift cast.  
  
I hesitated. "Tara, wait..."  
  
She stopped. "What?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I thought it was a joke,"I relaid, throwing my cards down on the table; I think one might have hit Russ; I'm not real sure. "It's just I haven't even had any reports except what Toad said occassionally so I just didn't want to deal with it..I'm sorry."  
  
Tara turned and faced her. "A joke? Why would I make a joke about this?"  
  
"I dunno! People seem to think it's fun to make my life miserable...it was treated as a big joke especially by Bobby."  
  
Mr. Greasy Hair cleared his throat. "Angel, Tara, is this something the rest of us should know?"he inquired, tilting his head in a way that was comical of the cat in the hat.   
  
I tried not to laugh.   
  
A new voice, a familiar accented one drew our attention away. "Hey, kid, what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
Tara's eyes widened and her expression changed into a smile. She stared at Logan for a moment. He'd only arrived recently to check on Remy and her at Roguey's insistance.   
  
In the next moment Tara had pulled away from our hug and run to Logan. The funny part, at least to me, was when he didn't push her away but instead returned the hug.  
  
"How the hell are you and what's your excuse for being here?"he asked, setting her back on her feet after a moment. His expression wasn't a smile but it was closer then any of us had seen it in months.  
  
Remy's hand touched my shoulder. It massaged the place for a moment as if he knew I was still confused.  
  
"Y'see de important, mon angel?"  
  
"Tara's here. Did you know?" I turned to face him.   
  
The deck of cards shuffled between his hands, faster then I'd ever managed. Maybe I spent too much time around him because it made me want to learn to shuffle that fast; maybe I didn't spend enough.  
  
"Oui."  
  
My smile turned genuine then. "Thanks, Remy. You're unorthidox and very mean for hiding it from me but thanks..."   
  
The Unreal World. Tara. Tasha. Johnny for a chaperone. A week away from David without having to baby-sit. Frequent contact with Remy or anyone else I chose. Free alcohol and romance novels *gags* unlimited supply. Two new mutants-one fork obsessed, one depressed. Normal twins. What could go wrong?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next chapter will start a few days into The Unreal World. For those wondering it is a mockery of THE REAL WORLD on MTV; I hate the show so why not screw it around some? If you read Retribution X written by Anything but Ordinary3.....get ready. Guest appearance from at least Ash and Kat!   
  
I have permission to use them without causing much harm to them; things will get a little weird. It's something Anything but Ordinary3 suggested and I agree; two diffrent universes collide and wreak havok.  
  
If you don't read Retribution X....START! She is recommended for good reason-read it or be totally confused when the two universes meet. 


	4. Ways to Complain Without Getting In Trou...

Anything but Ordinary: You never cease to amaze me. Maybe once you finish Retri and I finish the Tara/Angel series the idea would be interesting...transexual kitty? disturbing...but Natasha doesn't look like Sabertooth except for the attitude and her talons. It could work. Yes, kat shall be fun *ignores muses trying to boycott* Next chapter starting now.  
  
A/N: Kellie and Derek are twins in this fic and neither is a mutant.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Angel, open this door!"   
  
Angel glanced at the bathroom door then returned to applying her make-up. She traced her eyes in dark black then stuck out her tongue, checking the image. It looked fine in her opinion even though most people wouldn't be able to pull off the make-up or outfit especially the sneakers which were dark purple with three inch heels and blue laces with GONZO printed across them.  
  
Something like ripping came outside the bathroom door. Natasha's fist connected with the door. "ANGEL!"  
  
She slid the door open and ducked just as her friend's fist came at her face. She wasn't sure if it was an accident or deliberate; she had a feeling it was part of both. She ducked under Natasha's arm and dashed out of the room, racing into the first room she saw. She slammed the door shut.  
  
"Who have you upset now,shelia?"John asked, barely looking away from his computer screen long enough to speak to her. His full attention was on his "romance novel" which at the moment was glowing from the contours of the screen in black letters. "Don't tell me you tried to play barber with Corey again...."  
  
Angel moved over and leaned against the back of his chair, reading over his shoulder. "Nope..spent twenty-minutes in the bathroom playing with the mirror and my make- up. 'Sex and the Fire Eater'? Come on, Johnny, that's scary."  
  
John shrugged. "It's my romance novel...I can name it anything I want, shelia. Get out of my bedroom...Kellie tried to cook downstairs and I think the fire's out, too."  
  
"I wanna play, Johnny...can I play with the fire circus?"she questioned, walking over to a table and looking in a large metal box with a strange orange glow. "I'll take care of 'em. Please and I promise not to tell anyone they're food..please, please, please, please."  
  
He sighed. "If the shelia promises to leave me alone she can."  
  
"Thanks, Johnny!"  
  
MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER PART OF THE MANSION  
  
"In a matter of moments my life will be over and I shall be buried having jumped..." Corey scratched out the last word then continued. "Plunged to my death from the window of this house. My exsistence has been pure hell since my parents' deaths. It shall linger no more."  
  
"That was a bad suicide note the first three times you wrote it, Cor,"Kellie stated, coming into the room and settling onto the couch. She picked up the remote, flicking on the tv and scanning several channels; she stopped it on a rerun of...Ed, Edd, and Eddy.  
  
He glowered at her and wiped the edge of his pen on the black poet's shirt he wore. (A/N: Watch Interview With The Vampire and study the men's shirts). He soon returned to writing within the dark confides of his half the room; no windows were nearby and the lamp had "mysteriously" become cracked.   
  
Kellie had a hunch that he broke it but wasn't going to say anything. If he wasn't going to tell why should she do it for him? It wasn't like she was a snitch...maybe a little unorthidox but who wasn't anymore?  
  
Something crashed in the kitchen. It sounded like her brother's typical cooking skills.  
  
"Derek!"  
  
"Get the fiery circus of evil fire out of my kitchen!"came the yell from the direction of the kitchen seconds before Angel entered the living room, whistling and juggling the box of THE AMAZING FIRE CIRCUS.  
  
No one else played with it except Tara and Russ on rare occassions.  
  
Corey shifted further away into the dark corner at her entrance. Angel could make most people seek cover; it was in her personality.  
  
"It's too dark in here,"Angel muttered, clicking up the light switch on the far wall. Light streamed into the room and illuminated Corey's once dark corner along with the tacky green, purple, and orange furniture-they'd gotten to decorate. "Much better..."  
  
"The light,"Corey hisses, sounding oddly like a vampire, before vanishing through the doorway that led back toward the bedrooms. His hissing was heard for another few moments.   
  
Silence reigned for a moment.  
  
"What's his issue?"  
  
Kellie simply stared. "Hmm...you turned on the lights in the middle of his mourning but what could be his issue?"she mused, adding enough touch of sarcasm to make anyone suspicious. Anyone that is except for the one and only, Angel.  
  
"That's what I just asked,"she replied, replacing him at the now lighted desk. She withdrew the fire circus from the box and began setting them up across the desk; the clown went near the elephant and all the others hung around, including the freak show.   
  
The fire circus wasn't even made of fire at all. It was simply an old circus kit that had been charred to a crisp by John's bad habits. It was now called the fire circus because on rare occassions, mainly drunk ones or bad moods, John would set them a light and things would get a little too out of control.  
  
"What is the point of that damn circ--"  
  
Her sentence was cut off by a scream from the kitchen which was accompained by the arrival of Derek running through, covered in flour, and Tara chasing his, brandishing two flour-streaked drumsticks.  
  
"Hey, don't attack my brother!" Kellie stood up and ran after them.  
  
Angel didn't move from her seat. Her full attention was on the circus and it's many occupants set out before her. She barely glanced at the chase going on with her roommates until.....  
  
Russ looked up from the game he had been intent upon playing with the group of forks surrounding him at the entrance of several of his roomates. Derek, Tara, and Kellie to be exact; Derek was screaming bloody murder while Tara brandished her drumsticks after him.  
  
"Hey, watch the forks! What's going on?"  
  
"Derek tried to bake with my drumsticks. They're for playing not baking!"  
  
Derek cowered behind the bathroom door. "They shouldn't have been in the kitchen...it's not my fault."  
  
"Don't yell at my brother!"  
  
"Tell him not to bake with my damn drumsticks! I should get Logan to gut you like a fish..." Tara glowered at the closed bathroom door then threw one of the forks at it. It stuck in the doorway, earning a shriek of terror from the occupant inside.  
  
Natasha appeared in the doorway, toweling off her hair. "Okay what's with you idiots today? Nice drumsticks, Tara...new paint job?"  
  
Tara glowered before stomping off, muttering about "needing space to avoid accidental death that would require life insurance."  
  
THE DIARY ROOM  
  
[Tara: It just irritates me. Derek tries to cook with my drumsticks then I get in trouble for trying to kill him! Where's the fairness in that? *she crossed her arms and looked around the room* This diary room bugs me and gives me the creeps at the same time.]  
  
[Russ: Things aren't that bad here even if a little stuffy. That Angel girl...well where's the angelic part to her? Most people named Angel have some angelic to them, right? *he glanced around conspiritally for a moment* Don't tell but Chris said Natasha kind of scares him.]  
  
[Natasha: I hate this place and these mutants Magneto and Dad wanted? They're denser then two dollar bills! Is this being broadcasted? Good! If you're watching, Dad, I hate you right now. And another thing... *the rant continues for another few hours*]  
  
[Derek: I think I should cook more often. *he twirled a package of spaghetti over his head like a baton*]  
  
[Kellie: *silence then walks out*]  
  
[Corey: *sat down in the chair complete in a black mourners' robe with a book of Edgar Allen Poe Poems held in his hands* I hate Angel.]  
  
[Angel: *entered the room, swiftly, even though she can be heard down the hall with the large purple 'plank' shoes on her feet* I like these shoes. I really, really do.Have you even grown three inches in one day? It's amazing how much better you see...I'm starting to think Corey doesn't like me. *looks sad for a moment then wanders off, whistling The Brady Bunch, off tune*]  
  
[John: *enters the room, looks around a moment* I have a novel to write.]  
  
Silverware and glasses clinked against the table and nails while Dinner was eaten. The food was good even though most people were hesitant to try it.   
  
"Who knew Angel could cook?"Kellie asked, digging into the chicken and dumplings on her plate.   
  
Tara smirked. "Me."  
  
Russ laughed,"If we all die at least we'll die happy."  
  
"I resent that!"Angel hollered from the living room window where she was curled up with a large book that resembled the dictionary and a coloring book. "I have a question guys.."  
  
Corey slid further into his corner of darkness, glowering at her from the depths of it.  
  
Everyone ignored him.  
  
John looked at her. "What, shelia?"  
  
"Who do we know that owns a van with RETRIBUTION X printed across the side in red?"she questioned, pulling the curtain aside and leaning down.  
  
Chaos broke out in moments.  
  
Tara, Kellie, Derek, John: "What?"  
  
Russ: "Where'd my forks go?" *panicked*  
  
Corey:*slinked further into the corner, muttering incoherently* 


	5. Retribution X's First Day

Anything but Ordinary3:Tell me how horrible a job I've done with Retribution X in your review.I think it'll improve later but at the moment...God help me. The hot comment about Ashley is just out of randomness and to be weird..plus it makes it interesting; he's quite irritating, even more so now.  
  
Disclaimer: RETRIBUTION X is property of Anything but Ordinary3, given to me for this story only and shall only play a visitation. *shakes head* I don't own Pyro but everything else....is property of my warped mind.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"We don't know anyone that calls them self Retribution X, Angel." Tara stood and walked over to look down from the window. Her gaze went straight to the large van before she turned around.  
  
Footsteps echoed down the hall along with some shrill shrieking that might have once been counted as singing.   
  
"My ears, my ears..." Natasha clamped her hands over her ears and retreated into the next room, muttering incoherently about hating her father.  
  
Just as Tara was about to speak three figures darkened the doorway. Two woman-one glaring and one singing offkey and a two men-simply there.   
  
John stared blankly for a moment then stood, studying the newcomers. "Who would you be, mates?"  
  
Oh god we're getting more roommates. Maybe these won't be quite so damn irritating...where's Logan when I need him?  
  
Mr. Orleans appeared behind them. His expression was smug along with that damn infuriating grin of his. "These, John, would be the new housemates or roommates if you'd prefer."  
  
"What?!" The question was asked by several people at once, everyone except Natasha who was glowering at the singing girl in rage and Angel who sat at the window, watching everything going on.   
  
"Your roommates. Kat Jacobs, Ashley Donovan, Richard(does he have a last name?), and Tristan(does he have one too?)..."  
  
There was only one word of description for Kat Jacobs-SCARY. She had strawberry blonde hair and brown eyes along with the horribly off-key singing voice of hers. Her clothes were camoflauge and black at the moment(I remember you describing her dressed that way in one of the fics so I'm keeping her in that), making her look like a commando captain; scary thoughts crossed each and everyone else's minds.  
  
Ashley Donovan brought on one thought to both Tara and Angel-COOL. To Russ it was a diffrent thought-HOLY HELL, SHE'S HOT! She was short, around Tara's heigth, maybe a little over with an attractive appearance even with her mouth curled into that combination of a sneer/smirk. In his opinion it made her look much more attractive.  
  
Richard inspired the thought of-I DON'T LIKE HIM.  
  
Tristan didn't bring anything to mind except-....   
  
"Eleven kids?! That's ludacris...there's no way I can watch eleven kids alone and finish my novel! How dare you..." John grabbed the lighter from beside his plate and created a giant evil-looking Mardi Gras Mask that swooped down to attack the grinning man.   
  
The grin vanished but laughter replaced it from Kat.  
  
"Pyro!" In the next instant his mask had turned into a giant foot and begun stomping across the kitchen toward Corey's dark corner. If possible it grew bigger with Kat's "help".  
  
John stared, transfixed then glowered at her. "Have we met, shelia?"  
  
"Yeah! I can create and control fire...you can only control it! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm better then Pyro!"  
  
"I'll show you better!"  
  
"Children, that's enough!" Mr. Orleans glowered at them both. "Get rid of that fiery foot."  
  
No sooner had he finished speaking the foot ran at a wall, went through, and landed on the ground below; screams rang out from the people below. Laughter echoed from Kat while Pyro simply looked upset about being beaten again.  
  
"I'm well aware that's quite difficult, John. There's a request out to the audience for a second and possibly third chaperone within the house...whoever is chosen will be here in two days. Until then...Ashley will help you keep things under control,"Mr. Orleans stated, turning toward the waiting four. "Welcome to your new home."  
  
Kat looked around for a moment. "I smell bacon!" She dived at the table, grabbing up the reddish-colored meat on the table and running off down the hall.  
  
Richard and Ashley stared for the moment it took Natasha to return to the table.   
  
Russ juggled a few forks. "Look what I can do, Ashley."  
  
She glanced at him then rolled her eyes. "How nice, really."  
  
"Um, I didn't cook bacon, John...what did she eat?" Angel climbed down from the window ledge, looking confusedly at her friend.  
  
All eyes went to Russ who was cheerfully whistling while fork juggling. Corey slinked out of the room, hissing once more.   
  
"What did she eat?"Richard questioned, staring at him hard.  
  
Russ swallowed. "Well, I wanted to feed the alley cats outside so I mixed up some cat food and um...bacon grease."  
  
Silence for a moment then Ashley shrugged.  
  
"She'll live. Do you have a phone? I need to check if The Brady Bunch is still trying to kill us ...do you have any alcohol? I might need a few drinks afterwards."  
  
"Who's The Brady Bunch?" Tara stared at the girl, confused.  
  
"Scott and Jean of course...who else?"  
  
o_0  
  
"I can show you where the phone is!"Russ said, jumping up so fast that the silverware he'd been juggling clattered to the floor and scittered in every direction. He held out his arm to Ashley, bent like one of those guys from the telly vision. "M'lady?"  
  
She stared then turned away. "The phone?"  
  
"Right this way,"he mumbled, turning furiously red. "Maybe I can even show you something..else, like my bedroom?"  
  
His voice echoed back then a scream as something like lightening flashed in the next room. Tristan and Richard both cringed before sinking into the now vacant chairs at the table.  
  
"Well what's for dinner? Has to be better than Kat's cooking..."Richard asked, looking through the contents of the table. "Ashley'll take care of your friend."  
  
"I have a novel to finish. You will all behave...Angel, make them behave." John stomped off, muttering about needing to revise his novel and kill certain characters; his door slammed a little while later.  
  
Richard tilted his head after a moment. "What kind of a name's Angel?"  
  
"Mine."  
  
SEVERAL HOURS, SEVERAL DRINKS, SEVERAL ARGUMENTS LATER  
  
"KAT!"   
  
The twenty-something year-old looked up from coloring on the wall in the hall.  
  
"Who's there? Bobby, is this a joke? Bobby!"  
  
Ashley's voice echoed loudly throughout the room again.  
  
The entire wall was engulfed by flames, burning buildings, and large purple and black striped candy canes. She looked around a moment then shoved the crayons into her mouth, dashing off down the hall toward the sound of the voice.  
  
Ashley, Richard, Russ, Tristan, and Natasha were sitting in the room having a drink. No one had seen any of the others for quite some time except Angel who had been heard quite often, several diffrent places.  
  
"Vhag?"Kat questioned, smiling and showing two rows of color-speckled teeth. Blue and green saliva ran from one corner of her mouth and dripped onto the carpet.  
  
Ashley stared a moment then shook her head, pouring herself another drink. She watched for another moment.   
  
"Scott said we can't come home until he's made enough money to um...buy back Jean. This place will have to work...what have you been eating, Kat?"she questioned, noticing the red and yellow saliva still dripping from her mouth. "Not crayons again. I don't feel like having multi-colored puke everywhere..."  
  
"Not crayons. It was um...cookies. The funny little dude with the apron made cookies and they were multi-colored."  
  
"If I followed you home would you keep me?"   
  
Ashley and Kat both turned to look at Tristan. He had leaned up against the wall beside Natasha who was playing with an accustic guitar; she continued to fix it as if she hadn't heard him. Her full attention was on the red and black guitar, none of it shifted to Tristan.  
  
Tristan spoke louder,"IF I FOLLOWED YOU HOME WOULD YOU KEEP ME?"  
  
"Do you honestly want an answer to that?"she replied, running her fingers across the strings of the guitar. She played a few more chords, smiling up at him as her fingers flexed on the strings.  
  
"...Yes..."  
  
Talons exited from her hands once they'd moved off the guitar. She held them up so Tristan could see, bringing one close enough to his nose that it almost cut it.  
  
"No, I wouldn't keep you because one of three options would happen. 1)my father would kill you 2)my employer would kill you or 3)I'd kill you."  
  
Laughter broke out around the room from everyone except Tristan who turned slightly red. His gaze went to the ground and he moved away from Natasha.  
  
Clomping footsteps similar to a horse came. Everyone's attention went to the door.   
  
Angel appeared, still wearing those enormously heeled sneakers except that now the shoes and most of her clothes were covered in smudges of color and she held several glass bottles in each hand. "Has anyone ever decorated a room before?"  
  
Ashley nodded, slowly.  
  
Kat jumped up and down. "We painted the X-jet before!"  
  
Angel gave her a weird look. "Right...John said we can chose one room to decorate in the house and have all the alcohol we could find if we leave him alone. Who wants to help?"  
  
Cheering and applause filled the air.  
  
"Guess that's a yes......"  
  
Alright that's it for now. Who would the audience like to see chaperone with Pyro? Everyone must vote in their review....one or two people. Relatives of any of the characters are out of the question-No Remy, No Logan, No Rogue, No Sabre-anyone else; chose at your own risk.   
  
Next Chapter: The roommates try to give a paint job to one of the rooms.....with alcohol and permanent markers. Got a room prefrence? 


	6. VISITATION DAY BETS

"How do you spell highlighter, Ashley?"Kat questioned, staring down at the yellow item in her hand. She pulled off the lid then drew a line down the palm of her hand with it, looking suprised when a long yellow line appeared.  
  
Tara took a breathe then returned to coloring on the wall in front of her. It was the twelth time she'd asked the question and it was growing old.   
  
Ashley looked up from making one half of one wall completely red, blood red, at that. "High. Lighter. Put the two together, Kat..."  
  
Silence for a moment from Kat then she began to write on the wall in front of her.   
  
Russ stared at Ashley with a look that could look like that of a puppy who'd been scolded one time too many. His half of the same wall was covered in one word, over and over-ASHLEY.   
  
Angel leaned over and whisphered so only Tara could hear. "Russ has a new obsession..."   
  
Natasha appeared beside them. "Has he realized yet that we're coloring HIS room? I don't think it's sank in yet especially since Kat got a highlighter..."  
  
"Russ' mind's on one thing,"Angel said, coloring in a black spade on the wall. "It's starts with...A and ends with...Ashley, how do you spell you name?"  
  
Confusion for a moment then a shrug after taking another drink of vodka. "Does it matter? I think it ends with E, I think."  
  
Hiccuping.  
  
Russ instantly touched her arm. "Are you okay, my sweet?"  
  
"No touching,"Ashley told him on another hiccup,"Get me another drink."  
  
"Of course, my sweet." He took her glass and hurried off to the make-shift bar where Richard was trying to sleep. His head was bowed over the table and he seemed to be snoring.  
  
Tara shook her head. "Will wonders never cease? Where did these people come from...they worry us and we live with mutants...one of which talks in third person and carries 52 explosives on him everywhere."  
  
"He doesn't carry 52 explosives, Tara."  
  
"Why not?" Confusion.  
  
"I take seven out of every pack he buys." She rummaged in one pocket then held up seven cards-three aces and four jacks. "Haven't figured out why yet."  
  
Tristan appeared at her side, holding several drinks. Most of which were empty but a few were still full. "Ah, cards. Would you like to play a game of cards....uh, Angel?"he asked, propping against the wall beside her.   
  
Angel ignored him a moment, content to color a dark blue shape onto the wall. "What sort of cards, cher? Angel only plays certain card game types...Remy won't teach Angel anymore."   
  
He looked confused for a moment then shook his head. "Just a friendly little game of strip poker,"he explained, smiling in an inviting and suggestive smile. He placed one hand against the wall beside him, not noticing when it was met with black permanent marker.  
  
"Never played that before. How to you play?"Angel questioned while capping her marker and putting it down on the floor. It rolled away then into a glass of vodka, spilling it. "Oops...I think we should play cards on the other side of the room. It's less likely to be connected to us over there, Tristan."  
  
"Kat, you spelled highlighter wrong..."  
  
FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER (SEVERAL EMPTY BOTTLES OF VODKA AND A HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW ROOM LATER)  
  
"Damn, it's too hot in here. I'm turning on the air conditioning." Tara moved away from the game table just long enough to adjust the thermostat. She stared a moment then slid it over, making it colder.  
  
Tristan shivered since the only thing he wore anymore was his boxers and socks. The rest of them had been lost while he was playing with Angel. Angel herself had only lost the top of her shirts, those damn three-inch purple heels that had bugged people all day, and the jeans she'd been wearing even though she wore a pair of shorts beneathe them.  
  
Tara looked around for her friend's shoes but saw nothing except Derek returning with a satisfied smile. She had a feeling they wouldn't be seeing those shoes again; she didn't have the heart to tell the poor kid that Angel also had a pair of knee high boots plus and a black, red, and green pair identical to the purple except in color.  
  
"It's too cold already. Turn off the air,"Tristan mumbled, teeth chattering. His hands barely managed to place his cards on the table before he began to shake from head to toe; he took a drink to take away the chill.   
  
Angel sighed and placed her cards. "Angel lost. Hmm...Angel wonders if the deck's rigged,"she mused aloud before removing the shirt she had been wearing to reveal a third shirt this one purple with a black and blue court jester face and the word FOOL that had incredibly tiny straps and showed her stomache.  
  
Richard stared, blankly along with everyone else. "I have a feeling you're cold natured..."  
  
"Not particurally but Remy forces Angel to wear three shirts because he feels it's...uh, I can't remember the words." She shrugged. "Ready to quit, Tristan?"  
  
Ashley took another drink from her vodka glass then blinked for a moment. "Why's the clock on a four?"she questioned, blinking several times.  
  
Ten pairs of eyes went to the clock.  
  
Kat screeched. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the pixie queen is angered! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She proceeded to run away, screaming bloody murder about pixie queens and temper tantrums.  
  
Russ cleared his throat. "Maybe we should go to bed...tomorrow's visiting day."  
  
Tristan caught Angel's eyes. "Strip Monopoly tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure thing, Tristan. Yippee...Remy's coming, Remy's coming, Remy's coming!"  
  
"Remy? Good lord..." o_0  
  
AROUND TWELVE P.M.  
  
"It's only a trick of the light,"Russ mumbled, shuddering and curling up into a tighter ball. "There are no UFOs taking over my room or my mind. The wall is not saying hi to me...it's a trick of the light."  
  
Two and a half walls glowed yellowish-green while he huddled under the blanket, whimpering and talking to himself in a reassuring tone. It would have calmed him down except that he heard voices outside his door, voices plotting his down fall.  
  
"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME! I KNOW YOU'RE MIND GAMES! AHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THREE AND FIVE IN THE AFTERNOON  
  
(Visitation Hours-THANKS ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY3)  
  
Logan glowered at Mr. Orleans. "Do I get to see the kid or NOT, bub?"he demanded, glaring up at the man as his blades exited on his hands.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, but you haven't been stated as acceptable company...my deepest apologies."  
  
"Acceptable company?" He pinned the other man to the wall, pressing his blades almost into his throat. "Do I get in OR NOT?"  
  
Mr. Orleans swallowed. "Of course, sir. Who were you planning to see again?"  
  
"Tara Toynbee. NOW."  
  
"Right inside, sir. She's with um...Remy and Angel. Please enjoy your visit,"he said, staring at the metal pressed almost against his throat.  
  
Logan dropped him and walked inside without a word, slamming a camera to the ground in his anger. Several technicians ran off, muttering about 'not signing up to work with psychopaths'. He walked past them and into a room with a large peeling blue star that read VISITATION ROOM.   
  
His first thought upon entering it was-Twilight Zone.  
  
"LOGAN!" Tara ran to him and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. She all but jumped into his arms; her smile was huge. "Hey, Mort's already come to see me but Kitty was in a bad mood and wouldn't let him stay long. Guess what I leant? I leant that it's not good to play strip poker with Angel..."   
  
Logan glanced around, taking in the fact that several guys-housemates and camera people were watching with smirks. He wondered for a moment who else had been playing with Angel during strip poker.  
  
"Mon ange, y'have not been behaving 'ccording to Stormy...What was dat game of strip poker? Y'lost entirely too much to be Remy's child." Gambit's voice echoed from where he stood talking to Angel.  
  
"Logan, I'm so glad we finally found you...has Scott made enough money to buy Jean back yet?" One strange girl walked up to him; another ran up, smiling at him.  
  
"HI, ELVIS!"  
  
Logan stared. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
Ashley raised one eyebrow. "Erm...Ashley,"she leaned over and whisphered to Kat,"I knew that healing factor couldn't last forever."  
  
"What the hell are you doing here and what's with the Elvis...?"  
  
Kat shrieked. "The magical pixies lured us here!!"   
  
"Kat set fire to that fire attendants head so we fled our wing."  
  
Tara blinked, rubbing her head. "What do you mean your wing?"  
  
Ashley looked at Kat, irritatidly with a sigh. "I told you that your screeching..."  
  
"SINGING."  
  
"whatever, could tear interdiminensonal boundaries..." She hit Kat in the head.  
  
Kat dropped to the floor, hugging her foot and rocking back and forth. "That was mean, my poor poor foot."  
  
Ashley shrugged. "Oh, well. Might as well have a few drinks while we're here...did you bring any alcohol?"  
  
She ran off to search for alcohol while Kat stayed on the floor, hugging her foot.  
  
Logan tightened his hold on Tara's arm, slightly. "Tara, kid, we need to talk. Outside..."  
  
"Sure thing, Logan." Tara leaned up and kissed him on the cheek then walked outside, whistling.  
  
TWENTY MINUTES LATER  
  
"For the last time, Tristan, there are no services today."  
  
Logan exited the visitor's room to find Tara arguging with some boy who was obviously hitting on her judging by the tone of her voice and his laid back posture.  
  
That's just not acceptable, he thought, making his way over and coming up behind the guy.  
  
Tristan smiled. "No, you don't get it, Tara. Can I come in for services?"  
  
Tara blew out her breathe, not noticing him. "There is no temple to go into for services..."  
  
He sighed, irritated. "Nevermind. A better question...if I followed you home would you keep me?"he asked, giving her his best smile.  
  
"I'll answer that question for her..."  
  
Logan slammed him back against the wall, hard, pinning him there. He pressed his half released blades almost into the boy's throat.  
  
"No, she wouldn't keep you nor would you ever darken anyone else of the female persuasion's population. Your little....PECKER...would suffer severely."  
  
Tristan cowered against the wall, whimpering.  
  
Mr. Orleans appeared. "Visiting hours have ended for the day and there will be an introduction of new chaperones since our resident John has become unable to handle the difficulties of troubled children."  
  
Logan dropped Tristan while Tara glowered.  
  
"Why can't you play nicely, Logan? Go to your room and think about what you've done,"she said before turning and walking away after a whimpering, mumbling Tristan.  
  
What have I done to deserve this?he wondered, making his way outside and over to the car where Remy waited.   
  
"De petite behavin, mon ami?"  
  
He shrugged. "Well enough...let's get back to the mansion before the show gets back into full swing. There's no reason to miss the fun anymore...beside I'm kind of hoping Natasha cuts off Tristan's balls."  
  
"Remy t'ink dat Russ be getting another electric shock from Ashley...Roguey got twenty bucks on Kat burning the house down and Hank's betting sixteen that before the night's over Tristan won't request to play anymore games with Angel. Bobby won't bet but called the station to tell them who he was requesting for chaperones..."   
  
"Who'd he say?"  
  
"Too scary for Remy to repeat...de results be in tonight."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That's it. Visiting hours are over and the events are about to return to what the housemates decide to do. Kind of scary if you think about it...just so you know there will be several interesting twists including cameo visits by-JULIUS, JAX, LANDON, and YES, TWO NEW CHAPERONES. 


	7. Author's Note

I screwed up. Ignore this stupid little thing...it's simply here because I made a mistake. Joy for me; argh. The next chapter will be coming up soon...the chaperones will be in and I think I'll please everyone present. Except maybe Tori who won't be getting her wish...keep waiting for the next chapter. 


	8. CHAPERONES, REMY'S PHONE CALL, and KARAO...

Voice Over, singing: Today is a glorious dayyyyyyyy. There shall be two new chaperonessssss within this lovely house of LIIIIIIIFEEEEEE! Now back to our story. When we last left our Unreal World cast visiting day had just ended now with the arrival of two new chaperones things get tense. Let's watch our heros, er, casts reaction to these changes....  
  
Kat looked around then hid behind Tristan, whimpering. "Don't let the voices get me. The monkey king uses them to take his victims..."  
  
Tristan edged away then realized Natasha was beside him. He moved back over to Kat, eyeing her hands critically.   
  
"Check and mate, Richard." Tara slid the bishop across the board and placed him in his rightful place. She leaned back against the chair, smiling at him with a look she'd gotten from Toad when he was amused.  
  
"It's not possible...what did I ever do to deserve this?"he mumbled, staring at the board in amazement. His whole demeanor was confusion and worry. He drank some more of his beer then turned into a worm, inching away from the table and under one of the sinks.   
  
Mr. Orleans arrived and surveyed his cast of characters.  
  
Angel continued trying to balance several spoons on her nose. Russ stared at Ashley, longingly, while she glared at Kat who was coloring a blue duck in some coloring book. Natasha played with her guitar while Tristan stayed on the other side of the room. Corey was mourning in the corner despite Kellie and Derek's whisphered plans beside him. Tara straightened out the chess pieces while whistling some tune to herself. John looked up from the burning computer before him; he glowered at Kat then Mr. Orleans before putting it out then beginning to type again.  
  
"I present your new chaperones. First, you must all take these...." He handed out yellow and green pompoms to the girls who stared at him like he was a fool. He handed the guys what appeared to be Jester rods like used in Mardi Gras except Russ who drew closer to Ashley, hugging an armful of forks.  
  
"Mine and Ashley's."  
  
He was ignored by both his love interest, Ashley and their sponsor.  
  
"Chaperone number one, chosen by the viewers is a fuzzy blue guy who knows just about everything except how to understand teenage girls. He's a scientist and spends most of his time locked away in a lab in the Charles Xavier mansion...welcome, HANK MCCOY!"  
  
Cheering, applause and whistling met this introduction from all except Corey who hissed and buried himself further into the darkest corner of the house. The brightly colored sticks he'd given to the guys rattled around.  
  
Hank entered, white lab coat billowing around him like a cape, glasses perched on his nose. A tube of yellow liquid was held in one hand while the other held a rather large twinkie, a smashed twinkie.  
  
"Chaperone number two is a happily married man with one son, age eight who likes chasing creatures and hanging around with his many mutant relatives. He shoots laser beams from his eyes and has been married to a rumored to be psycho redhead...his time is altered between his day job as a Chip n' Dale dancer and his family....welcome, SCOTT SUMMERS AND HIS EIGHT YEAR OLD TERROR, DAVID ALEX SUMMERS!"  
  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" The scream was an echo throughout the room. The spoons fell from Angel's face, clattering, and the others screamed.  
  
David Summers entered and ran straight to Angel, throwing his arms around her mid section. "Aunt Angel! I've missed you...Daddy said I get to stay with you for weeks an' weeks an' weeks an' weeks,"he announced, proudly, smiling up at her. "Aren't you glad?"  
  
Ashley made a choking sound then stared at first the little demon clinging to Angel's legs then Angel, herself. "They have a kid? A kid...A KID?! What kind of screwed up dimension do you live in, ANGEL?!"  
  
She shrugged, patting the top of his head while his father followed. "Imagine baby-sitting him. I've had to live with him for eight years..."  
  
Scott glared at her then pulled his son away. "Stop being mean to my child, Angel Elizabeth Blade-Lebeau."  
  
David struggled out of his arms and ran to Ashley, staring up at her. "Wow, you're short. I think Aunt Tara mighta been a little taller than you..."  
  
Ashley glared at him until he broke out into tears.  
  
"Daddy, the mean lady's staring at me funny,"he sobbed before hidding behind his father. "Make her stop."  
  
[Ashley: I thought The Brady Bunch were creepy in our time. They're married wth a kid...why wasn't I aware of this? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS!?]  
  
[Kat: Do you like pixie stixs? I like pixie stixs. Would you like a pixie stix? *she proceeded to toss several colored pixie stixs into the air before bouncing out, singing* It must have been love but it's over now.]  
  
[Russ: *he twitched several times before settling into the chair, comfortablly* It's been a day and a half days since I slept. The aliens never leave me alone...that horrible screeching, singing that Kat does doesn't help.]  
  
Meanwhile, we find our once-upon-a-time-heros gathered around the tv, eating roast beef sandwiches with chips and watching...THE UNREAL WORLD: WORLD PREMIER. Every member of the X-Men is present except for Remy who has been having target practice for quite some time now.   
  
"Since when is my husband a Chip n' Dale dancer?!"Jean demanded, staring at the tv with tears brimming from her eyes.   
  
Logan coughed. "We've known for sometime, Jeannie...Remy and I uh, accompanied him to get the application. You didn't really think he made all that money from Xavier, did you?"  
  
Jean gaped with a fish face. Her lips moved in an O repeatedly but no sound came out.  
  
"Would you two pipe down? Sheesh, we're tryin' to watch tv here,"Rogue called, shifting slightly but only tossing a handful of popcorn in their direction. Her attention never wavered from the television and it's game of Monopoly.   
  
A large pile of money, candy, twinkies, and ketchup packets rested on the table. Bobby Drake sat nearby, counting it with Jubilee who held their new 'puppy' in her arms. The 'puppy' growled then bit into the coffee table, tearing out a chunk.  
  
"Bad puppy!"  
  
"Is this a good thing to be watching when Remy could come in any moment? I don't think he'd appreciate seeing this side of um...the child." Storm gnawed on her lower lip but didn't make a move to cut off the televison.  
  
The others waved her off, intent upon the game on the television. Obviously the night before's program hadn't been just a joke about Strip Monopoly. Everyone was playing the game except Russ who was sitting in a corner twitching but staring at the tv or was it Ashley? Derek, Kellie, and Kat were...not present and everyone else was playing while Ashley looked on with vague intrest, drinking.  
  
They'd hadn't figured out who was winning but Jubilee had become quite interested every time the camera showed Tristan; Bobby glowered and muttered something about 'damn womanizer, just like Remy'.  
  
"What ev'ry one watching, mon ami?"a new voice asked from the doorway.  
  
Several diffrent people scrambled to grab the remote before realizing it wasn't on the table.  
  
Rogue stood in front of the tv, smiling at her husband. "Hi, honey. How was your training session?"  
  
"Rogue, I can't see,"Bobby whined, throwing a peppermint at her. It hit her arm then bounced off, earning him a glare. "Sorry, ma'am."  
  
"Oui. Dere somet'ing on de tv Remy not see, chere?"he questioned, shuffling a deck of cards, slowly from one hand to the other.   
  
Collective breathe holding.  
  
"Of course not, sugah. I just thought..ya might like a nice warm uh shower first, right?"  
  
Remy started to speak but was interrupted by Logan's snort then Jean slamming her hand over his mouth.  
  
"What, mon ami?"  
  
"It's nothing, Remy. Logan's got something caught in his throat,"Jean hurriedly mumbled, smacking him on the back hard.  
  
He coughed then gagged a moment.  
  
Rogue moved slightly to the left, blocking the tv from Remy's prying eyes.   
  
Remy studied them all for a moment then walked over and stood in front of Rogue, trying to see around her. She shifted every time to block his view. This continued for a few minutes before he simply picked her up and dropped her, ungracefully onto the couch then stared at the tv.  
  
"What de hell is dis?"  
  
Jubilee stared at him a moment then began her narrative. "It's called Strip Monopoly, Remy. It's played like normal monopoly except the losing person has to remove clothes...it's quite funny to watch. We're all betting on the winners. So far it's a tie vote between Tara and Tristan..." Her voice trailed off.  
  
"Why is mon ange playing? Different question...why she losing?"  
  
Bobby shrugged. "She's never been good at Monopoly, Remy..."  
  
Remy glared at him. "Silence."   
  
"Look, Gumbo, the kid's seveten, eighteen in seven months...can't you give her some freedom?"Logan asked, having regained control of himself.  
  
"Non! Dis is why de Angel does not get...freedom. What's de number for dis Unreal World house?"  
  
"It's on Speed Dial.."  
  
"Oh, Remy must talk to de angel.."  
  
Collective breathe holding continued.  
  
Remy counted to ten, waiting for the phone to get answered. After a moment it was answered with a much too cheerful voice.  
  
"Unreal World, Kat speaking, how can we make your life wonderful? Would you like the pixie queen, ninja turtles, or a special bottle of pixie dust?"the voice questioned, sounding like a hyperactive child.   
  
"Non, dis be Remy and Remy wish to speak with Angel."  
  
"One moment please..." Silence for a few moments then a screech that rattled the windows and put Banshee and Angel to shame came. "ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL!"  
  
Rogue hovered at the door of the room, listening to Remy's side of the conversation.  
  
"Remy t'ought he told his angel not to play anymore strip games?.......dere not be any difference in de two, cher....ano'er thing-what's wit showing all de skin?...femme, speak English or else...get off de accursed phone, Tara Toynbee...DON'T Y'DARE HANG UP DIS PHONE...Remy will come down there...." Here he covered the mouth piece with one hand. "Roguey, find Remy's keys."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Find 'em yourself, Swamp Rat. Like Wolvie said she's seveteen...leave her alone."  
  
"Non, mon belle petite not be old enough for dis." He uncovered the mouthpiece and resumed the one sided conversation. "Mon dieu, dat's enough...I'm not playing wit' you...ANGEL!"   
  
Remy dropped the phone and began searching for his keys.  
  
This has got to stop. His behavior's obsessive... Rogue turned and winked at Bobby who slid a ring of keys under the table then froze them there. They returned to the show in silence except for Remy's frenzied search.  
  
"WHERE REMY'S KEYS?!"  
  
THE UNREAL WORLD HOUSE  
  
"Remy always that obsessive? I think they heard him halfway down the hall this time." Ashley looked up at Angel as she hung up the phone and slumped into a chair. While on the phone she'd dressed completely again.  
  
Angel nodded, glumly then poured a bit of vodka into a glass that was already half full of orange juice. She'd set it there twenty minutes earlier and forgotten about it. She took a drink then gagged. "Yep, he's been like that since I was fifteen...you have no idea what it's like to be raised by him."  
  
"Thank you for small miracles...knock on wood." She raised her empty glass for a moment in a toast then stared at it. "It's empty."   
  
"Fill it."  
  
She did, taking a few drinks from it. "A toast to not having Remy raise me."  
  
"Knock on wood,"Angel mumbled with a roll of her eyes.   
  
The sound of singing drew both their attention away from their conversation and toward the living room. Both girls walked to it, glancing around cautiously then noticing that the only occupants were Kat, Scott, Kellie, Derek, and Hank who was making notes.  
  
"You've got to change your evil ways, baby  
  
Before I stop lovin' you  
  
You've got to change, baby  
  
And every word that I say is true  
  
You've got me runnin' and hidin'  
  
All over town,"Scott sang, loudly off key while dancing with Kat,"You've got me sneakin' and a peepin'  
  
And runnin' you down  
  
This can't go on  
  
Lord knows you've got to change  
  
Baby, baby."  
  
Kat took over the duet, holding what appeared to be a microphone cut out of cardboard.   
  
"When I come home, baby  
  
My house is dark and my thoughts are cold  
  
You hang around, baby  
  
With Jean and Joan and a who knows who  
  
I'm getting tired of waiting and fooling around  
  
I'll find somebody that won't,"she sang, earning several whimpers from a closet. Wait, closets didn't whimper.   
  
Angel approached the door of the closet, picking up Natasha's guitar on her way over. She held it above her head like a baseball bat.   
  
"Be careful, Angel, it might be...a clone of Kat."  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
"Make me feel like a clown   
  
This can't go on  
  
Lord knows you've got to change."   
  
Kat continued singing, ignoring the frightened whimpering closet and Angel's menacing moves toward the closet with the guitar raised high above her head.  
  
"Whatever you are I HAVE A GUITAR AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!"  
  
She jerked the door open and slammed the guitar down...right on top of a jumble of limbs.  
  
"RUN AWAY!"  
  
Derek yelped and ran for cover, diving under a table. Kellie followed a few moments later, pressing her hands over her mission. Natasha stared at the remains of her guitar then looked up at Angel with something close to murder in her eyes.  
  
"That was my guitar, Angel, I liked that guitar." The long talons on each of her hands slid free and she glowered at her, standing.  
  
"Uh...oops?" Angel stared a moment then took off running from the room.  
  
Natasha started to take off after her.   
  
Kat's excited screech halted her movement for only a second. "KITTY! YOU'RE BACK AND YOU GOT A SEX CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Stunned silence for several moments broken only by footsteps that echoed slightly.  
  
"I don't have time for this,"Natasha growled, taking off out of the room in the direction Angel had gone.  
  
Everyone stared in stunned silence at Kat who began to cry.  
  
"Kitty doesn't like me!!!!! The pixie queen used her monkey servants to make KITTY HATE ME! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yeah, two updates in two days. Back-to-back. Cool, huh? Fast writing for me but hey, why disappoint the audience? There won't be another update on this until Mock Trial competition on Saturday's over...possibly an update on next Sunday.   
  
F.Y.I. - The audience who read this will be pleased to know it's going places and there will be more guest appearances later. My other story-Alliance:Anti-Trust hit a standstill for the moment but I'll try to update it after Mock Trial competition or possibly before...who can tell with these things?   
  
The power of suggestion is powerful so got any ideas? Leave a review and let me know...I would like to thank Anything but Ordinary3 and Pyromaniac666 for allowing me the use of their characters. 


	9. Mr Oreox's Revenge PART 1

NINE DAYS LATER  
  
"One W...two Ws...three Ws...four Ws...five Ws...six Ws..."   
  
Tara stared at the remains of her peanut butter and toasted banana sandwich, trying to ignore Kat's insistent prattle behind her.   
  
"Seven Ws...Eight Ws...Nine Ws,"she continued, moving the colored candy pieces from one dish to the table top and into Tristan's food. "Ten Ws...what comes after ten?"  
  
"Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M and M factory, Kat?"Natasha asked without looking up from trying to glue her guitar back together. She placed her hands together in a clap.  
  
Kat shook her head. "No...why?!"  
  
"She threw out all the Ws."  
  
"I don't get it. What comes after ten?"Kat questioned, not comprehending the words or the bad way in which they were spoken.  
  
What have I done to deserve this? It this what I get for smarting off to Logan and cutting up his magazines? Tara wondered over these things while she finished her sandwich.  
  
"Who wants to hear a story?"Angel asked, coming into the room with a large stack of printed papers.   
  
John didn't move from typing on his lap top. "Another room, shelia."  
  
"Yes, Johnny." She batted her eyelashes a moment then exited. "Special once in a lifetime chance to hear the original novel of a soon to be famous writer....JOHN ALLERDYCE."  
  
John barely blinked.  
  
Tara, Kat, and Natasha joined her in the living room where Kellie and Derek were coloring while Corey shrank into his corner. Russ was staring at Ashley with a love struck expression; her attention was outside the window, watching for something. Tristan leaned against one wall, oddly silent.  
  
Tristan hadn't spoken much since flirting with Natasha, getting threatened by Logan, and playing way too many strip games with one Angel Blade-Lebeau.  
  
"Everyone gather around and you will hear a tale. A tale of love. Doomed love with horrible consequences for a fire eater and his beautiful gypsy lover. The author is none other than our own, ST. JOHN ALLERDYCE!!!"  
  
"Pyro writes love stories?" Ashley stared at her blankly then shook her head and returned to her window, watching.  
  
Angel cleared her throat. "Sek(pronounced:sex) and the Fire Eater. Chapter Seven. 'Diago didn't know what made him do it but he kissed her. It wasn't a kiss between friends as he'd intended but a raw, passionate kiss between lovers. Sek wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, returning the kiss. Diago's hands stroked down her body, cupping her backside but she gave no protest. "Sek, I want you,"he told her in the instant he took his mouth from hers to trail hot kisses down her throat. His lips brushed her long dark black hair, causing a tingling sensation deep in her belly. Sek moaned but only dug her nails into his back in response..."  
  
"ANGEL ELIZABETH BLADE-LEBEAU!"  
  
"PYRO!"  
  
John glared at her upon entering the room. "Shut up, Kat. Why are you reading my novel aloud, you-you-you demon child!"  
  
"Never knew you thought so much, Pyro,"Ashley commented, off handedly. "Sek and Diago? I'm curious now...a fire eater and his gypsy lover?"  
  
Russ smiled at her. "That could be us, my Ashley. The fork balancer and his electric lover..."  
  
She shuddered. "Bad mental image. I need a drink..." She shuddered once then walked out of the door; Russ followed like a lost puppy.  
  
"Why are you reading my novel aloud, Angel?"Pyro demanded again.  
  
Kat held up an M and M, dark blue. "The Ws are gone!"  
  
Derek and Kellie looked up then screamed in unison. "Ahhhhhhhh!"  
  
Angel shrugged, batting her eyelashes. "It was right out in the open, Johnny. Remy say y'don' wait for opp'rtunity to knock; y'drag it in, screamin' and fightin'."  
  
"That is no reas----" His sentence was cut off by Richard's arrival.  
  
His face was drained of all color and sweat poured from his body. He shuddered and twitched every few steps, glancing fearfully behind him. Another shudder shook him.  
  
"Why won't you play with Mr. Oreox." David Summers entered the room, cradling something large and furry against his chest and glaring at Richard. 'Mr. Oreox' made a strange sound then latched onto his young master's shirt.  
  
John snatched his novel/manuscript/script from her hands then stormed out of the room. "STAY OUT OF MY ROOM, TOO, SHELIA AND COMPANY!"  
  
His door slammed a few moments later.   
  
Richard hid behind Angel. "Keep him away."  
  
"What's the big deal?" Angel pulled away and approached David, kneeling beside him. "David, honey, what do you have?"  
  
"Mr. Oreox. He's a mole,"David said, stressing each syllable. His hand clutched on the thing's head, petting gently. "Daddy said I could keep him long as he'd let me. Ashley yelled at me and Mr. Oreox..."  
  
"A mole...Richard, are you afraid of the mole?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"I am an almost licencised therapist. Have a seat on the couch, Richard."   
  
Richard hesitated then sank onto the couch, holding a beer that he'd removed from his cooler. It was resting under the table, away from anyone's view.  
  
Angel settled into a chair then motioned to David. "Come here, you, we're going to discuss this like normal, rational people."  
  
David ran over and climbed onto her lap, holding 'Mr. Oreox.'  
  
He hesitated a moment then took a breathe. "It all began when I became a mutant..."  
  
THREE AND A HALF HOURS LATER  
  
"I see. Are you feeling anymore confident about your ability to handle the mole situation, Richard?" Angel patted his hand in a reassuring way. Her hand stayed there for a few moments, stopping him from movie.  
  
Richard nodded then took another drink from his open, half-drunk bottle of bear. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready,"he chanted in a high-pitched voice. "What's it's name again?"  
  
"Mr. Oreox!"David announced, holding up the squirming, hissing ball of furr. Something oddly resembling one of Scott's visors was strapped to the animal's head. Furr stuck up in all directions and his hand held onto the thing around it's badly distended belly.  
  
"Now all you have to do is reach our your hand and touch it, Richard. The animal won't bite you...David, if you would hold our your 'friend'."  
  
The little boy smiled, pleasantly, then held out his pet toward the much older.   
  
"Mr. Oreox is pleased to meet you."   
  
Richard started to reach toward the animal but jerked his hand back when it snapped.   
  
Angel blinks, staring down at the ball of furr. "Wait a minute...since when do moles snap at people?"  
  
Silence.  
  
David spoke up finally, his voice a conspirital whispher. "Mr. Oreox is special, Aunt Angel. He's uh...bio-kineticiatly-ngineered. Missre. Hank made 'im...he's special."  
  
"Honey, could I borrow Mr. Oreox for a moment?"she asked, sweetly with a small smile to him.  
  
His arms tightened around the creature. "No, mines."  
  
"David..."  
  
"Mines!"  
  
"David!"  
  
"MINES!"  
  
Mr. Oreox hissed. Lasers blasts like Scott's shot from his eyes.   
  
Richard ran from the room. Angel hesitated a moment then ran from the room, dumping David onto the floor. Yelling voices and a door slamming followed minutes later.  
  
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER  
  
"Is it still out there?"   
  
Tara Toynbee pulled the door open a little then pressed her eyes to it, staring out. Something brown and furry skittered by. She yelped and slammed the door shut, sliding down against the wall beside it.  
  
"It's still there but David isn't..."   
  
Richard huddled further into his dark corner of John's room, pulling his cooler closer.   
  
Everyone home at the moment was gathered in his room, hiding. Derek, Kellie, and Kat were under the bed, laying on their stomaches while they searched for The Missing Ws. Corey was huddled in a corner, talking to himself, very quietly. Angel had begun flipping through John's manuscript/novel again while Tristan and Richard huddled under the desk behind her.  
  
"Is the evil gone yet?"Richard questioned, sticking his head out to look around.  
  
Tara responded,"Sorry, but no Richard. It's pacing the hall, shooting laser beams. The ceiling's starting to resemble Russ' room...except red instead of yellow."   
  
He whimphered and hid back under the desk.  
  
"Who wants to hear another chapter of Johnny's novel?"Angel questioned, leafing through the pages for a few moments then sitting on top the desk, indiant style. She balanced the large stack of papers against one knee.  
  
"Me, me, me!" The three 'mousekeeters' scrambled from under the bed and gathered at her feet, staring up. Tara shrugged, noncommitting. Richard crept slightly out but caught one of Angel's feet, clutching it.  
  
"You won't leave?"  
  
"Nope. Won't leave, Richard..."  
  
Tristan climbed out from under the desk but made a point to sit on the chair directly beside her.  
  
Angel ignored his prescence, flipping through the pages.  
  
"When are Ashley, Russ, PYRO!, and Scott coming home? Scott promised to sing with me...we're going to sing When a Man Loves a Woman!"  
  
"Eventually?"  
  
Scattered moans of 'no' came from the others.  
  
[ Kat: I can't understand why no one likes my singing. It's beautiful....everyone thinks so! I'm a good singer, right? Right? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME!!?! *she caught the room on fire*]  
  
[Richard: *gulped down more beer* This place isn't normal. I don't even know where Hank went! That...*twitch* mole *twitch*...has been patrolling for hours. I can't take the pressure anymore! *something thunked outside the door, causing him to scream* LEAVE ME ALONE!]  
  
Angel cleared her throat. "Sek and The Fire Eater. Chapter Thirteen. 'Sek lay, listening to and feeling Diago's breathe on her bare back. She wasn't sure when it had happened but suddenly she realized-she was in love with Diago Rigel. It happened suddenly after only two weeks. Sek could see a future for them together and that scared her. She knew she would never be anything except the daughter of a filthy gypsy; Diago didn't see her as anything more then a lover. He never would. Tears gathered at her eyes but she forced herself to move away from his strong, warm body and begin to get dressed. Her fingers ran through her dark, almost black hair while she continued trying to make the tears leave her eyes. Her eyes stared at Diago's sleeping form. Sek couldn't take it anymore and.....' Kat, why are you crying?"  
  
All eyes went to Kat who was sobbing, loudly.  
  
"I MISS BOBBY!"she sobbed even louder, beginning to cry all over again. "HE'S NEVER BEEN WITHOUT ME FOR MORE THAN THIRTEEN HOURS!"  
  
Tara's sigh drew everyone's attention. "Okay, that's seriously enough,"she growled, picking up the nearby telephone and dialing a number. She glowered at them all but tilted her head from side to side as if she were listening to music, moving her lips as if counting. "Scott? Come home...we have a problem. Your demon son's pet mole, a special mole made by our buddy Hank, has taken over the house.....on your way now? Great. Bring Ash, Russ, and John before Angel makes us suffer through anymore of his novel."  
  
She slammed the phone down then held her hands up, palms out.   
  
"Problem solved."  
  
"You interrupted my reading deabut for this?" Angel's voice was over dramatic.   
  
"Yes, Angel." Tara's voice was quiet as if speaking to a small child.  
  
She shrugged. "Okay. Where was I..."  
  
"Sek was leaving Diago,"Kellie cried in an anguished voice then broke down into tears with Kat.   
  
Derek inched away from his sister.  
  
"Yes..here it is. 'Sek couldn't take it anymore and.....'  
  
A/N: Next Chapter-A RESCUE MISSION....by DRUNKS? Commando Mr. Oreox the Mole has taken a hostage-the one, the only DAVID SUMMERS! 


	10. Taking Back the House Drunks vs Moles

Russ played with the automatic window, sliding it down then up then down then up then down then up. He repeated the gesture over and over, marveling at it's advancedness.  
  
Ashley glowered at him. "Russ, dear, if you press that button again I'll castrate you,"she growled, glaring at him threateningly. It had the desired reaction as he quit playing with the window and stared down like a scolded puppy.  
  
"Ashley, be nice to my first mate." John turned the wheel then gasped as it came upon two wheels. Brakes squealed. "Man the sails, Ol' One Eye or I'll feed you to the sharks!"  
  
Scott rolled his eyes and yanked the steering wheel back from Pyro. He slammed on the brakes, sending them flying forward.   
  
"If you idiots hadn't left or gotten drunk, none of this would have happened! My son WOULD NOT be over taking the house with a genetically engineered mole nor would there be a group of hysterical teenagers LOCKED IN A BEDROOM WITH A ROMANCE NOVEL."  
  
Ashley laughed. "You forgot that we're drunk, too, Mike Brady."  
  
"Another thing. What's with all the BRADY BUNCH COMMENTS?" He steered the car carefully through the streets, driving toward The Unreal World house where their 'friends' and 'loved ones' waited.   
  
"But why's the RUM gone?"John suddenly demanded out of nowhere, hitting his half full bottle of rum against the dashboard. It made a thump then rolled onto the floor. "But why's the RUM gone?"  
  
Russ looked at Ashley. "If I asked you to marry me what would you do, Ashley?"  
  
"Truth?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"This." Her 'this' turned out to be a string of curse words and laughter. She cleared her throat after a moment then smiled in an oddly familiar way of Logan. "That help any, Russ?"  
  
"Yes, Ashley, it helped quite a bit,"he mumbled before taking another drink of his coke. He was the only one even remotely sober even though Ashley was putting on a good show. He stared out his half shut, half open window.   
  
"Noooooo, don't take me pirate treasure, mate!" John jerked out of sleep, thrashing about and hitting Scott with his bottle of Rum. It made a hollow thunk.  
  
Will Ashley ever love me? I wonder what Tristan and Richard have to say on the subject...mental note: ask Tristan and Richard why Ashley doesn't love me nor want to have anything to do with me.  
  
"Land ho' matie!"  
  
"Shut up, Pyro,"Scott sighed, taking a turn so sharply everyone hit the left side of the car. Russ used it as an excuse to touch Ashley and earned several shocks for it.   
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER  
  
" 'You were just going to leave without telling me you'd concieved my child?'Diago demanded, staring at the woman he'd begun to fall in love with. One of her heavily jewlered hands rested against her stomache. Tears stung her eyes at the hatred with which he spoke the words. "It would have been better for him, Diago. I wouldn't have kept it unless I felt the need,"Sek reasoned without looking away from her hand resting against her stomache. Her eyes never met his, knowing she's cry if they did....Kat, stop crying already! I'll quit reading!" Angel closed the book and shoved it into a drawer, sliding it closed.   
  
"Thank God for small miracles." Tara uncovered her head and shifted away from the door, standing. "I'm going to check to see if someone INTELLIGENT OTHER THAN MYSELF has arrived yet."  
  
"Kay...figure out where David is too. Richard, please let go of my foot..."  
  
Why do I hang out with her?Tara wondered, opening the door and peering out. Something came at her head and stuck there.   
  
The door closed with a thunk behind her.  
  
Kat stopped sobbing for a moment. "Is my one true love here? Could it be my Bobby?"she asked, hopefully.  
  
"No. The mole has sent a message..." She peeled the sheet of paper off her forehead and laid it down, noticing that several words were missing.  
  
Snickering and whisphering drew her attention. Tara turned away.  
  
"I don't see the funny part to this..."  
  
"Um...well...I think you absorbed part of the message,"Tristan mumbled before ducking past Angel's feet and to the safety of the desk she sat on. "It's on your head."  
  
Tara looked around for a mirror.  
  
Kellie, meanwhile, had taken up control of the paper and was studying it. (note the spelling is meant to be this way)  
  
"PUNY HUMANE! FOR FAR TOO LONG MY PEOPLES HAS SUFFERED IN UNDERGROUND CITITES WITH BARED ENOF FOOD TO KEEP US ALIVE...WE WERE THE PESTICIDES OF YOUR RACE BUT NO MORE! I HAVE TAKEN A HOSTAGE...THE LITTLE . SURRENDER TO US AND EW WON'T RELEVENCE HIM...SIGNED MR. OREOX A.K.A COMMANDER OF THE ARMED MOLE FORCES."  
  
"Um...does that make a bit of sense to anyone?"she questioned, poking the paper. Several words were mising and something like mole slobber covered the entire thing. Grass and dirt clung to the paper.  
  
Angel smirked. "I'd say it means no more baby-sitting! Hot dog!"  
  
Crickets chirped in the background for a moment.   
  
"Um...that's not quite it, Angel. The mole has David.." Tara scrubbed frantically at her forehead, trying to remove the words printed there.  
  
ALLIEGANCE TO THE MOLE PEOPLE!  
  
"Yeah, so?"   
  
"Angel, Scott. will. kill. us. if. we. lose. his. kid. Affirmative?"  
  
Several mumbles then a shrug from Angel. "So what's your point?"  
  
"ANGEL!"  
  
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. TWENTY-MINUTES LATER  
  
"I believe I am in control of this crusade, mate." John Allerdyce made a production of glaring at Scott and bowing at the waist to his 'crew'. No one returned the bow or looked at him.  
  
Scott sighed,"For the last time, Pyro, this is not a ship nor are these children your crew. This is simply a rescue mission to save my child and your demented house load of kids!"  
  
"I resent that! They're not demented...they're uh..uh...uh..." Ashley looked helplessly at Russ.  
  
"They're cool?"  
  
"Exactly!" Lightening struck a nearby tree, knocking over a powerline which promptly fell on top the house next door. "..Oops."  
  
"Ashley!"  
  
"Sorry, Pyro,"she said then brightened. "Time to save the house and take it back from the mole people?"  
  
"On three we ATTACK."  
  
Scott shook his head.  
  
"No, no, no...we must plot strate--"  
  
"One."  
  
"Rushing in with no plan is dangerous to us and the others within..."  
  
"Two."  
  
"Pyro, stop counting. I am the oldest so I have senority. We must formulate a plan, call in the other X-Men, and seek the help of the one and only BEAST!"  
  
"Three!"   
  
The three, not Scott Summers, took off running toward the house then burst through the door, screaming.  
  
"That's not what I said!"  
  
INSIDE THE MOLE FORTRESS ( *clears throat and rewrites the script* ) THE UNREAL WORLD HOUSE  
  
"Where are you, you, you, evil mole?" Ashley rolled her eyes and took another drink without even glancing at Russ.   
  
His stupid words echoed back to her again.  
  
She smiled after a moment and decided to have a little fun. "Take me to your leader,"she commanded in a high pitched voice like that of a mole.  
  
"Don't come near me...I have forks a-and Ashley!" Several purple forks whizzed by her head. She ducked just in time to avoid a disastrous hairdo.  
  
"Russ!"  
  
His smiling face beamed at her. "Hi, Ashley. I was taking care of Mr. Oreox."  
  
She pulled one fork from the wall beside her head and held it out. "Would this be yours, Russ?"she questioned, glowering at him in a way that instantly made his cower and hide. She smirked then patted the top of his head before walking off.  
  
Loud wailing drew her attention. It was quiet like a little kid but could rival Kat with it's shrillness. "I WANT MY MOMMY!"  
  
Oh, Lord, not that little demon child. I can't believe of all the people in the world to find I find the demon kid. Hey, maybe if I save him the Brady Bunch'll leave us all alone.  
  
She hesitated a moment then pushed the door open.   
  
The alcohol's getting to me was her first thought upon entering the room. Several large moles with everything from optic blast container things to metal claw to gloves that reminded her of Rogue were gathered in the room. The strangest one was a strange gold mole that had electrified fur. The little monster named David Summers was tied up in a chair, crying.  
  
"I think this is about the time I'd have another drink,"Ashley mumbled, pouring herself another glass of what looked like vodka. The strange part about it was there was no taste to it.  
  
The 'Logan' mole turned. "Human!"  
  
[Russ: It's not fair! I try to be the love of her life and what do I get? Threats and fighting a group of giant moles with mutated abilities for her...what kind of chunk is that? Don't laugh at me...]  
  
She smirked and attacked the moles. "I can't believe this is really happening. I get to abuse moles...where's Richard when I need him?"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" David's scream split the air. "THE SCARY LADY!"  
  
PYRO'S BEDROOM  
  
"Can I have a cookie?"Kat questioned, tugging on Kellie's arm. "I want a cookie. I want a cookie. I want a cookie."  
  
"For the last time there are no cookies, Kat,"Tara answered, burying her head further under a pillow and screaming. Her head didn't move for a long time.  
  
"But the fairy queen promised me cookies if I poured that pink liquid into Hank's....uh funny lookin' cylinder thing!" The pout was evident in her voice.  
  
The fairy queen never keeps her promises. That's the last time I ever make a deal with her, she thought. I'll just sit here and think about how happy Bobby'll be when we return.  
  
The sounds of battle raged outside for awhile then the wall behind them all caught fire. Two heads appeared-John and Scott.  
  
Angel looked up then jumped off the desk, throwing her arms around John's neck. "Johnny, you're home! Genetically engineered moles have taken over the house!"she screamed, trying to ignore Richard who was still clutching the leg of her jeans, tightly, between his hands. He looked like a frightened little kid after a nightmare.  
  
"Mole. I don't like moles,"he mumbled, clutching tighter.  
  
Scott glared at the gathered kids and their random activities. Natasha was sleeping, Tara had her head buried under a pillow, Kat was back under the bed with Kellie and Derek while Tristan hid under one table. Corey was huddled in a corner, writing on a wooden table with a knife.  
  
"Where's my son?"he demanded, glancing around the room then beginning a frantic search.  
  
"The moles took him." Kat returned to hiding under the bed after this statement.  
  
"Nooo, not my child." Scott began to cry.  
  
Footsteps echoed behind them. "Knock it off, Mike Brady. Here's the evil demon kid,"Ashley said, walking up with a tear-streaked face David. His arms were wrapped tightly around what once could have been Mr. Oreox.  
  
Richard screamed and hugged John tightly. "Please don't let it get me...please, please, please, please."  
  
Silence for a moment then David broke it with his wail.  
  
"The scary lady killed Mr. Oreox!"he yelled, running to his dad and holding out the animal to him. "Punish her, Daddy!"  
  
"Oh, Ashley, my sweet, are you okay?"Russ asked, more demanded, rushing to her and beginning to check for bruises or cuts or anything similar. "Did those evil moles hurt my love?"  
  
She blew out a long breath. "I'm going to bed. Don't disturb me and your welcome for saving your little monster..."  
  
Her footsteps echoed away then silence reigned in the house.  
  
Scott cleared his throat and knelt by his son. "David, I think we need to bury Mr. Oreox...he's like Mommy used to be, remember?"  
  
David blinked then his expression cleared. "Dead?"  
  
"Exactly..."  
  
Something thunked against a wall followed by Russ' voice. "I know you're there! You can't hide from me, y-y-you aliens!" 


	11. Why Doesn't Ashley Love Me Back?

2:25 a.m.   
  
Russ cowered further under his covers, staring fearfully at the bright yellow words glowing at him in the dark. He pulled the covers up over his head then yanked it down at the feeling of something touching him. The words Hi Lighter greeted him. He screamed then bolted out of bed, running from the room.  
  
He ran until he found the room he wanted. The door was slightly ajar so he took it as an invitation and went in. None of the room's occupant could be seen under the mass of covers on the bed.  
  
He crept over and poked the lump. "Ashley. Hey, Ashley."  
  
She gave no response except to turn over and bury her head under a pillow and mutter. "Go away, Tristan. It's too late to deal with your girl problems."  
  
"Ashley,"he tried again, shaking her slightly. Ashley gave no response this time.  
  
Something thumped in the hallway. He hesitated, remembering what his father had said about waking someone up. "Don't wake anyone up unless you're sure they won't either harm or kill you, even a chick."  
  
A second thump. Russ scrambled over the foot of the bed and curled up beside Ashley, knowing she wouldn't let the aliens take him. He had faith in his lady love; enough to know she wouldn't let the aliens take him away for experimental purposes.   
  
"Goodnight, Ashley..."  
  
6:53 a.m.  
  
Ashley opened her eyes, hearing what sounded like that screech Kat called a singing voice. She groaned and started to move but stopped realizing she was not alone in her bed; there was someone laying much too close to her. She sat up then glared at Russ' sleeping figure.  
  
"RUSS COLLINS, WHAT THE BLOODY FUCKIN' HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"she demanded, jumping up just as lightening struck the bed and him. "WHAT YOU DOING IN MY BED?"  
  
Russ jerked up as he was electrocuted. His yell could have shattered a window. She thought for a moment that it had cracked the window on the opposite side of the room; her imagination.  
  
"The aliens,"he managed before he got struck by lightening again. "They were trying to attack me..." Electrocution. "I...n-n-needed protection." Electrocution.  
  
"YOU DUMBASS! THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS ALIENS...." Ashley glowered at him then struck him with lightening several more times.  
  
"May I inquire as to what is going on here, mate?" John appeared at the doorway, followed closely by everyone else that was within the walls of the house. Their eyes were glued to the scene in front of them.  
  
Tara broke the silence. "Do we have any popcorn?"  
  
"I woke to find....that IDIOT in MY bed. IS THAT ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM?" Her words were followed by lightening striking several diffrent areas of the room. Several struck in the hall.  
  
"Light show!"Kat's voice screamed from the hall before something thudded against a wall.  
  
"Ashley, stop yelling,"Richard commanded, coming in and placing one hand on her arm. "It won't do any good to destroy the house or kill him. I think Russ has learned his lesson."  
  
Ashley shifted her attention to Russ who had gotten up. He staggered upsteadly like a drunk and his hair struck out in a comical way of Albert Einstein. His arms had turned almost black while his eyes were wide open and staring blankly ahead.  
  
Hank stepped forward and touched the boy briefly then jerked back as if he himself had been shocked. His expression turned concerned. "I believe this is serious, my young ones. Russ, come with me...I think we may need to quarantine you until this wears off."  
  
Ashley started to open her mouth but John shook his head.  
  
"No arguements, shelia. When the boy's well enough he can be punished he will be, alright?"  
  
Grudgingly, she nodded then noticed for the first time that everyone was staring into her room at her. Her expression darkened even further. "GET OUT, ALL OF YOU!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am." The crowd quickly dispersed except Richard and Tristan, who both looked at her to confirm that things were okay. Kat raced around the room, chasing after a fly that had landed on one of the walls.   
  
"You okay, Ash?"  
  
Ashley gave no response then picked up the telephone that had been resting on a table. She chunked it at Kat. "Just great. KAT, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"  
  
SEVERAL HOURS LATER  
  
"Did it hurt?" Tristan smiled, appealingly at the mail deliverer.   
  
The mail deliverer, a young woman of around twenty-four with dark red hair and dark blue eyes smiled at him. She wore jeans and a button-down white shirt clung much too tightly with tennis shoes.   
  
"Did what hurt?"she questioned, looking completely confused.  
  
"When you fell from heaven..."  
  
She twirled a strand of hair around her first finger. "I fell from heaven? Wow, Mom never told me that..."  
  
"Would you like to have dinner and play house with me sometime?"Tristan questioned, making a point to 'imply' several things. "It would be worth your time, beautiful."  
  
Richard butted in. "I'm sorry, miss, but my friend's not quite trained on the correct way to treat a lady..."  
  
"Richard, Tristan, I need your help!" Russ' high-pitched voice broke the silence of the day. His voice had changed drastically since getting electrocuted by Ashley. His hair still stuck out in every direction along with that distant, wild look in his eyes but otherwise he was almost back to normal.  
  
The mail deliver quickly left, uttering a gasp.  
  
Tristan sighed. "I was finally about to get dinner and a game of house until you showed up..." He glared at Richard then Russ. His gaze stayed longer on Russ.  
  
Russ shrugged it off. "Why doesn't Ashley love me back?"  
  
Richard stared blankly for a moment then shook his head. "You're a freak,"he announced before turning and walking away.  
  
Tristan's expression darkened and he stomped off, muttering something about 'stay away from my girls, all of them'.   
  
"My girls. No one else is allowed to hit on them...MY Ashley, MY Melody, and when she behaves MY KAT. They're all mine. Mine, mine, mine,"he muttered, slamming the door behind him. He walked through the kitchen then into the living room, taking in the people present at that moment.  
  
Angel sat in one of the chairs, reading a book to David who was curled up on the floor at her feet. Her hands rested on either side of the book, holding it open, but she looked half asleep herself; her gaze kept going to the hallway. Natasha was sleeping on the couch while Derek sat on the floor with a box of cornflakes, counting them.  
  
"Tristan, can you read?"Angel questioned without looking away from the book. After asking the question she returned to reading the book aloud to David.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
She yawned. "Will you read to David for a little while? I need to go talk to John...please."  
  
He hesitated then nodded and took the book from her. She stood and kissed him on the cheek before walking down the hall and vanishing into the room where John spent most of his time working on his romance novel or reading the others he kept stashed under the bed in a large box.  
  
David peered up at him, cautiously. "Who are you?"  
  
"...Tristan...I'm a friend of Angel's..."  
  
"You're a friend of Aunt Angel?" His expression brightened then he nodded. "Kay, will you be reading to me?"  
  
"Sure. What am I reading, uh..David?"  
  
"The True Story of Peter Pan." (A/N: This is a real book which I recommend. It gives Peter Pan a real interesting twist where he and the lost boys are bad guys while Captain Hook's good. I wouldn't say it would make too terribly great a book for a child of David's age and family background but....)   
  
Weird kid. Any other kid would read something like fairy tales or The Three Pigs. This kid has major problems; you can tell it's a mix of Scott and Jean.  
  
Tristan nodded. He began to read the book, changing his voice slightly to fit the characters as he thought they should be done.  
  
Somewhere behind them on the hallway a door slammed. Two sets of footsteps started down the hall, making a loud thudding sound. Raised voices accompanied these sounds.  
  
"Oh, come on, John! I know this really cool coffee house place where you could read your novel and they'd pay you money." Angel's voice echoed through the darkened halls.  
  
"What are you planning, shelia?"John demanded coming into the room and nodding to them. "G'day."  
  
Tristan nodded.  
  
Angel followed, trying to put her hair up and failing quite badly since strands kept falling. Her expression was one of pleading, slightly, but even more it was more innocent looking now then ever before.  
  
"Nuthin'! Angel just thinks it would be good for you, Johnny...pleasey, please."  
  
"No, shelia."  
  
"Johnny."  
  
"No."  
  
AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Cause, Shelia...no more arguing."  
  
"Give me one good reason and I'll leave you alone."  
  
"Because I don't want anyone to see it..."  
  
"She said a good reason!"a chorus of voice echoed from the kitchen where everyone's heads could be seen, peeking through the opening. A crowd had formed there with popcorn and pixie stixs.  
  
"Who wants PIXIE STIXS?"Kat screeched, causing everyone to shrink away and a nearby window to crack straight down the middle. "I'm a fairy-pixie-princess."  
  
Angel froze with her mouth open about to speak and looked over at their audience. John tapped one foot then glanced at the group of kids.  
  
"Do you mind, mates?"he demanded before turning Angel's head back to him. He repeated his reason.  
  
"That's not a good reason, St. John Allerdyce!" Angel crossed her arms and pushed his hand away from her face. She glared at him. "Don't touch me."  
  
"Stop being difficult. Tell me what you plan to do while I'm, IF I GO, at this place reading my novel..."  
  
"Invite over a million people and have a wild, crazy sex party?" Tristan looked hopeful before David pulled on his arm.  
  
"What's sex, Tristan?"  
  
"This is why I can't leave..." John buried his head within his hands and settled into a chair.  
  
She moved over and patted his back, lightly. "I'm sorry, Johnny, Tristan's not mature enough to handle this responsibiltiy yet." She shot him a glare over her shoulder. "Look if it makes you feel better we have Scott and Tara...plus, Richard. What could go wrong?"  
  
No sooner had she spoken Kat's voice broke out from the next room.  
  
"It must have been love but it's over now  
  
It must have been good but I lost it somehow  
  
It must have been love but it's over now  
  
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out..."  
  
Multiple groans echoed from everyone else and Natasha bolted up from sleep, clutching her ears. David ran to Angel and hid behind her, beginning to cry. Again.   
  
John stood, throwing his hands up. When he spoke next he sounded tired. "Fine. I'll go to, if nothing else, get away from Kat and that horrible screeching she calls singing. I don't expect to come home and find a problem, got it?"  
  
Angel nodded, solemly then kissed him on the cheek again. "Thank you, Johnny...you won't regret this. I promise...nothing will happen..."  
  
NEXT CHAPTER: John leaves the kids alone which results in several 'accidents' with duct tape and a few people that really bug everyone. Guest appearances from Jax, Landon, Julius(don't own) for a little while(maybe) along with several suprises, including VISITATION. Confused? Wait 'til the next chapter, mates. 


	12. PROLOGUE to CHAPTER TWELEVE

Julius Kanteon glanced around the house that his usual club group had abandoned the club for with a critic's eye. "Screwed her. Screwed her. Not a good lay. Screwed her. Screwed her. Screwed her. Great lay but...screwed her."  
  
"Julius, would you stop looking around like a predator. It makes you look like a rapist." Landon Keller took a drink from the glass in front of him but continued to watch his friend.  
  
Jax laughed; a dark, raspy sound emerged. "Julius is a rapist."  
  
"You two are not funny. I need something...new." He glanced around, stopping on several figures within what might have been a bar and grill. He them over. The more noticeable one was a guy in jeans and a bright black silk shirt with giant pink leaves patterned across. His expression was somewhat troubled. The scowling girl with him drew Julius' attention.   
  
"That new enough for you, buddy?" Landon smirked after following his gaze. "Looks like jailbait."  
  
"I'd say eighteen or better."  
  
"Try seventeen."  
  
Both turned to Jax. "How would you know?"Julius demanded, studying his friend.  
  
"The Serpent King can tell..."  
  
Juilus stopped listening and raked his eyes over the girl, thinking. She looked quite promising- a good bit shorter than him, brown hair, and a little bit innocent. She was tall enough to reach his neck with dark hair to below her shoulders. Jeans so tight they could have been one of Jax's "shed" skins clung to her hips with a maroon halter top with black markings across the front and what could only be defined as "hooker boots." Something silver hung around her neck.  
  
Wait. Black hooker boots and silver?  
  
"She's perfect."  
  
"Perfect if you want to get charged with rape...stick with something your own age."  
  
"Doesn't apply to me,"Landon said as he stood. "I'm seventeen. It isn't rape or anything illegal. I like that announcer."  
  
Julius smirked. "You forget-eighteen's legal to seventeen in New York...Jax?"  
  
"Sure. Might as well get charged with rape...will Apocalypse bail us out of jail.....?" 


	13. THE FAIRY SUCKER vs THE BURNING BUSH

Anything but Ordinary3, Oracles Maiden, Minnie Maiden: Thank you for the ideas.  
  
Pyromaniac666: Wait a little longer for the chapter you want. I'm real sorry about this but the above three gave me a ton of ideas that are gonna be fun! The chapter with those three will eventually get up. Ta ta for now.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Byebye, Johnny!" Angel slammed the window shut then turned back to the people gathered in John's room-Ashley, Tristan, Richard, Tara, Natasha, a still electrocuted Russ, and Hank.  
  
"So what's on the agenda tonight, Angel?"Ashley asked, crossing her arms as she studied her new 'friend', if you could call them that. She leaned against one wall, making a point to stay between Richard and Tristan.  
  
"For starters, we need to get Corey, Kellie, and Derek out of the picture...they could be a problem,"she started, pacing the length of the room a moment before removing several items from under John's bed. She set up the dry erase board on it's stand then produced several markers of every color. "This is where Tristan, Richard, and Russ come in. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, take on and attack those three."  
  
Angel produced three large rows of duct tape and handed them over. She returned to her board, drawing a large, strangely accurate layout of the entire Unreal World house. She drew several stick figures covered in duct tape in one room then pointed with her marker.  
  
"You three tape them down then stick them in a closet. Phase One, complete. Phase two, set into motion. Ashley, you set up a wrestling match with Scott...you can rattle his fairy ass. (Yes, I stole this line from Justin, Pyromaniac.) Tristan can sell tickets and Richard can watch the...kidnappes. Phase three-the wrestling match-begins!"  
  
  
  
"Why don't my forks like me?" Russ' question came out of nowhere as he tried to grab a fork and recieved a heavy shock.   
  
Tristan shook his head. "Angel, you've assembled a cracked team."  
  
"They're the best we got, Tristan. You in or out? I'll find you a play toy..." Angel smiled sweetly up at him until he nodded, eagerly, like a child on christmas morning. "A pretty one with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and dumb enough to put up with you."  
  
"YAY!"  
  
Ashley snorted to cover laughter.   
  
AFTER PHASE ONE, HALFWAY THROUGH PHASE TWO  
  
"Is it clear for us to come out yet?"Tara asked from where she was busily making faces at her reflection to see it's reactions. She stuck her tongue out a little then sucked it back it, screwing her eyes up to look at her nose. "Wow, my nose looks funny."   
  
Angel sighed without looking away from the book that was open upon her legs, being read. Her hands were behind her back as she turned the pages with her mind rather then physically; she looked deep in concentration. "This is why we never go anywhere..."  
  
"Is there a reason you can't use your hands?"came the reply from the bathroom.  
  
"Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored." Natasha's monotone was losing it's appeal. "What are you even reading, Angel?"  
  
"Requires too much energy. Amputation..."  
  
o_0 "WHY?"  
  
"For fun,"she answered, forcing the book closed with her mind then standing after placing it down. She stretched for a moment then grimaced as her back popped. "I'd say Ashley and Scott are about to start the match. Let's go..."  
  
Three sets of footsteps echoed down the hall. Cheering and applause reached their ears even before they hit the living room. In the very center Scott and Ashley were facing off while all the others watched from their newly arranged seating on the sidelines. Most of the people were total strangers to anyone in the Unreal World house but money was money.  
  
"Will you lot be alright for the few moments we're gone to get....concession stand items?"Angel questioned, stopping beside Tristan and smiling. She batted her eyelashes.  
  
He nodded. "Of course. Remember...friend for me."  
  
"You got it." Tara leaned up and patted the top of his head before the three walked off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
LATER INTO THE NIGHT AND THE WRESTLING MATCH  
  
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! The wrestling match is about to begin. Our challengers are coming out...." Tara pulled the megaphone away from her mouth then waited for the normal amount of cheering and applause. "In the far corner we have THE AMAZING FAIRY SUCKER! His friends know his as....SCOTT SUMMERS!"   
  
Scott ran out, waving his arms to the crowd despite their boos and hisses. Giant, four-foot purple and pink fairy wings stretched out behind him over a pink leotard with a single bright blue stripe at the middle.   
  
"His fashion coordinator is none other than....KAT JACOBS!"  
  
Cheering echoed. Strangely enough a sign in the crowd read MARRY ME KAT! Stomping and cheering echoed for awhile longer while Kat paraded around the ring in her army uniform, shouting orders at Scott.   
  
"Will wonders never cease? In the other corner we have the BURNING BUSH! Oh, I'm sorry it's just our own, yes, our very own....ASHLEY DONAVAN!" She dropped the megaphone to clap and cheer along with the crowd for the moment.   
  
Ashley walked out, taking her time. She had been wrapped it what looked like greaseproof paper and christmas lights of multi colors; a large purple 'cape' hung around her neck with a giant BURNING BUSH written there in what was...yes, yellow highlighter.   
  
"Her fashion consultant is my own best friend and sometimes strangest one, ANGEL BLADE OR LEBEAU...not sure which but who honestly cares?"   
  
Angel walked beside Ashley, telling her something. Ashley shook her head then climbed into the ring, bowing for some reason; her head hit the floor, earning a collective groan from all those present. Kat ran forward and threw a handful of glitter at them both, causing both to choke.  
  
"KAT!"  
  
Ashley stared a moment then ripped the cape off herself, throwing it at Kat as Angel vanished from the ring, heading toward the 'concession stand' to help Tristan and Natasha.   
  
"My beautiful handy work,"she sobbed, beginning to cry and in the process tossing her remaining glitter onto the floor. She abandoned the ring after yelling to Scott to-"Take care of my lightweight."  
  
Tara filed at the edge of one nail against the table's ledge before returning to her commentary. She was losing interest faster than normal. Her gaze searched the crowd, stopping on a few familiar faces. "Well, friends, we have special guests....today we have-JUBILATION LEE AND BOBBY DRAKE OF THE X-MEN!"she screamed, making a point to pronounce every syllable of the names. Stunned silence echoed for a few moments.  
  
"Oh for the love of alcohol,"came Ashley's voice from the ring before she attacked Scott. The poor guy had no chance. Within a few moments she had him in a headlock, hitting him in the head. One of the nearby microphones dropped down as the camera guy steered it around. "Why can't you be normal...why can't you be normal?"  
  
"Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon, excuse me..." Tara made her way through the present audience, trying to avoid getting hit or knocked over by anyone's excited match watching. "I just realized something. Scott no longer has wings! THE HORROR! I, Tara Toynbee, have begun looking for the elusive Bobby Drake and Jubilee....Oh, BOBBY! JUBILEE!"  
  
LOCATION: CONCESSION STAND  
  
Tristan watched the match before returning his attention to Angel who was leaned over the counter flirting. Her elbows rested on the table then her head leaned against one while she talked to some guy. He didn't like the look of the guy. He was too....attractive and had that 'bad-guy' look. It was almost as if he knew he was bad and didn't care what anyone else thought unless they didn't agree with him.  
  
That didn't make sense, Tristan.  
  
"No, you can't buy me a drink. I'm seventeen...still too young to drink." Angel's voice floated to him, taking his attention away from where Ashley was still abusing Scott while Tara searched the crowd. "Although if you bought it and I drank it...that's okay, I think."  
  
"It is not. You can't drink, Angel,"Tristan announced, coming up behind her. He stared at the other guy, willing him to leave. "Who's this cheapskate?"  
  
"Tristan! This is Julius Kanteon...he's a new friend." Her face took on a slightly far away look. He had a feeling she had been drinking at least a little; Ash's influence.  
  
"I THINK WE HAVE RUN INTO A PROBLEM!" Tara's voice echoed along with the sound of Kat's wailing.  
  
"And I thought Jubilee was my friend!"  
  
All heads turned in that direction, including Angel and her new friend, Julius.   
  
Opportunity knocks. Tristan answers.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE X-MANSION  
  
"Il a pincé le bout de mon ange!" (He pinched my angel's butt!) Remy Lebeau stood from the couch and stalked to the phone. For once no one tried to stop him even Rogue whose mouth hadn't closed yet. "Offering services to dis cajun, cher?"  
  
Her mouth slammed shut.   
  
"Good femme....." Silence for a few moments after he'd dialed. "Police? Dis be Remy. Remy reportin' dat...dat Remy's daughter being sexually harrassmented!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
OUTSIDE THE RING, COMMENTARY WITH TARA  
  
"This is Tara Toynbee live from the outside of the ring. THE AMAZING FAIRY SUCKER'S own coordinator Kat Jacobs is caught in a love triangle. Let's listen in...all blame for my actions goes on Mortimer Toynbee and Logan." Tara turned the microphone that she'd recieved from one of the camera guys.   
  
"Jubilee pressured you, didn't she?"Kat screeched, clinging to Bobby. "The fairy queen made a deal with her, didn't she? They thought they could take me...but they shall pay. HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE WOMAN SCORNED!"  
  
Down below, the ring's inner circle erupted into fire. Ashley didn't release Scott's head from where she was busy smacking him. The cameras panned the scene, taking in panicked audience members then the chaos in the ring. Sirens wailed in the distance along with the stampeding of millions of feet from the room. The only ones not even remotely affected were Scott and Ashley inside the fiery ring then Natasha who had long ago disappeared with some guy that resembled a snake to play Scrabble.   
  
"It appears we have a new, undiscovered problem...." Tara hesitated, holding the megaphone away from her mouth for a moment. "The first person to catch fire...LOSES!"  
  
No sooner were the words out before Ashley shoved Scott backwards and straight into the fire. She smirked then bowed. "I have defeated THE AMAZING FAIRY SUCKER! Where's my alcohol?"  
  
Her words echoed to an empty arena except for Angel, some strange guy, Tristan, a burning Scott, Tara, some other strange guy, and several other people who quickly ran from the room. There was silence among the gathered kids for awhile longer then Tristan walked to the stage and gave Ashley a bottle of alcohol.  
  
Tara placed her megaphone at her lips and yelled,"THE WINNER! THE BURNING BUSH!" 


	14. Meet the Dads and Logan

AT THE JAIL 9:15  
  
"Ashley? This is Tristan...can you come get me..? Where am I? I'm in jail...the police arrested me...for what? I'm not even sure!" He through up his hands then caught the phone again. "Can you come get me? Please."  
  
X-MANSION 9:25  
  
"Come on, Cajun...it's time to figure out what those kids are up to and where Pyro went to. So help me, if something's happened to any of them..." Logan let the threat trail off as he grabbed his coat in one hand and Gambit's arm with the other, pulling him with him out the door.  
  
"Dat Angel in so much trouble dat Remy don' even want to deal wit' her,"he fumed on their way outside but allowed himself to be led anyway. He climbed into the car with Logan but said nothing else. His attention went to the road in front of them.  
  
"This is all Natasha Creed's fault."  
  
"Of course...who else's fault would it be?"Remy scowled, forgetting his accent for a moment before recovering. "Dere's no one else to cause such vicious behavior in mon ange and de young frog."  
  
"Tadpole."  
  
"Who cares?"  
  
THE UNREAL WORLD HOUSE 9:45  
  
"I know a bus driver that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a bus driver that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves and his name is RICHARD." The voices echoed from the depth of the closet. Kellie's screech covered most of Derek's singing but it was present none the less; the even weirder part was Corey's singing.  
  
"For the sixteenth time, THERE. IS. NO. BUS. OR. DRIVER." Richard stared at his barely drank at all beer, leaning back against one wall. He was sitting on top of one end of the cooler, staring at the door where their voices came from. "Shut up already."  
  
Silence echoed from the closet for all of ten minutes before the next verse began.  
  
"Another one bites the bus-ah.another one bites the bus-ah.and another comes on,and another comes on.another one bites the bus.Hey!He's gonna sit by you. Another one bites the bus." It repeated over and over again, unaware that some of the words were wrong especially the biting buses part.   
  
"Corey, if you don't shut up I'm sending Ash in there." Richard's threat hung in the empty air. No one breathed or even sang for a long moment. He began to worry that one of them had killed the others or died of shock. "Um...Corey...? Derek...? Kellie..?"  
  
There came a thump. Yes, that was it. A THUMP.  
  
"Oh no...ASHLEY, THEY'RE ESCAPING!"he screamed after a moment, glancing out the window in time to see Kat's head appear outside. He didn't move from his cooler or put down his beer. "ASHLEY!"  
  
IN FRONT OF THE UNREAL WORLD HOUSE 10:09  
  
"This isn't something in my job description, Gumbo...let's go. Somewhere in there are Tara and Angel." Logan switched off the car engine and lights, trying to ignore the three figures circling his car.   
  
Their clothes were covered with the white remains from sticking duct tape to something for a long period of time. Kat's hair stuck out in every direction with flecks of spit in it while the other two weirdos simply looked...freakishly inhuman.  
  
He looked down, feeling a hand on his. Remy's hand had come to rest on his.   
  
"Logan, mon ami, hold me. De chil'ren be scary..."  
  
Logan jerked his hand away then got out, hitting the kid named Derek in the stomach with his door in the process. It barely slowed him beyond-"You will pay, Kitty cat."  
  
"LOGAN!" Kat's scream earned a wince and his mutterings before he stomped off, followed closely by a shivering Remy who inched cautiously away from Kat. She reminded him of a large beast stalking it's prey.  
  
"Don' leave Remy, mon ami!"  
  
"I have a child to find. Either walk faster or get left...if I were you I'd worry more about Angel then Tara. Wait...an old friend's here."  
  
Remy groaned. "Not de ex again..."  
  
"No. My old friend, not yours."  
  
"Ohhhh, de cat. Remy see,"he said, nodding as if he understood. He looked around the room then shrugged. "De angel not here."  
  
Logan's blades exited. "Angel isn't but Tara and some guy are..." While Remy walked off to find his own ward he stalked closer, watching the scene before him. Tara stood on top of a table in the middle of doing what MIGHT have been salsa dancing if not for the fact that they stood on top a table...a very small, round table.  
  
"TARA TOYNBEE, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING AND WITH...HIM?"   
  
His outburst suprised the would-be dancers so much that they fell from the table, plummeting to them doom. In this case, though, doom was simply a hard fall.  
  
ANGEL'S BEDROOM 10:17  
  
"Remy swear dat Angel be grounded for de rest of her...life." Remy knocked on the door to the bedroom he'd become familiar with as hers. It made a hollow sound but no other sound came from within the room's depth. Silence a moment longer then something fell against the floor; no other sound. "Angel!"  
  
Still no response. Strange since usually she'd answer rather then listen to his whining. He tried the knob then picked the lock, pushing the door inward. "Angel Blade-Lebeau, if y' only knew how much trouble y--"he started but stopped, taking in the two figures 'entangled' on the bed. "Who de hell is dis?"  
  
Natasha's slightly astonished face met his over the shoulder of her 'friend'. "Uh...Hi, Remy."  
  
"Natasha, where's mon ange?"Remy demanded, glowering until the two grew uncomfortable and tried to seperate from each other.  
  
Natasha swallowed for a moment. "She was talking to Julius last time I saw her; I think they went for a walk...you're not gonna tell my dad about this are you, Remy?"she questioned, looking the slightest bit worried at the notion.  
  
He shook his head. " 'Course not, petite. Mon ange went for a walk?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Remy thanks you." He gave a mock bow then walked out, leaving the door wide open. "Oh, Remy forgot somet'ing...KITTY CAT! TASHA HAVING TOO MUCH FUN!"  
  
"REMY!"  
  
After a few moments Sabretooth appeared in the bedroom doorway, growling.   
  
"Hi, Dad...?"  
  
Growling.  
  
"Uh, this is Jax."  
  
Louder growling.  
  
"That's my cue to leave,"Jax mumbled, jerking on his clothes and almost running from the room. He slid past Sabre into the hall then ran off. "See you, Tasha."  
  
"I can explain, Dad..."  
  
Growling.  
  
HIGHLIGHTER YELLOW BEDROOM 10:19  
  
Remy stalked through the halls, checking random bedrooms no with no result except to wake several of the housemates and find Ashley in the shower. His hair was still singed from her 'missed' lightening bolt; it stuck out in all directions at the very bottom.  
  
"Remy's hair always been his most beau (beautiful) feature.." He tried the door of a room with the words HILIGHTER ROOM written across the door. Someone wasn't able to spell very well. "Dis better be Angel. Mon petite already grounded 'til she turn seventy."  
  
He opened the door and looked in, instantly retrieving several cards from one of his pockets. His red on black eyes shifted to anger as the cards burst into red color.  
  
At the moment he was seeing a very different side of his ward. This side of Angel was laying under some shirtless guy with her eyes closed, allowing him to do just about anything he wanted. Her hands ran across his back which had several beginning to heal scars present; her shirt was at least halfway undone.  
  
Remy cleared his throat. "Angel, Remy came to visit."  
  
In the next instant she had bolted up, shoving her little 'play mate' off herself and onto the floor. Her hair had come undone from however she'd had it put up but her eyes were cloudy and darker from what was obviously drinking.  
  
"Ah, Remy, cher, what brings this..um, visit?"she asked, trying to retie her shirt with little success.   
  
The play mate had recovered by now. "Who the hell is this?"  
  
"Angel's father,"he scowled, tossing one of the cards at him. It exploded but missed; just barely. "How old you t'ink she be, garçon?"  
  
"Seventeen."  
  
"Non, Angel be fifteen. She be a minor and dis be illegal....now get."  
  
"That's rude, Remy! Bye, Julius."  
  
Julius, as she's called him, grabbed his shirt then slipped out just as Remy threw a few more cards at him.  
  
Angel glowered at him, brushing some hair out of her eyes. Her expression showed a combination of confusion and irritation. "Remy, Angel's seventeen. Eighteen in a few months...Angel is allowed to be entertaining!"  
  
"Non, Angel isn't. Remy say Angel grounded 'til she turn seventy-six,"he said, walking over and catching hold of her arm tightly to get her up. It was hard to make her stand despite her tripping over her own feet; one was bare and the other still wore a boot. "Congradulations."  
  
FRONT ENTRY HALL OF THE UNREAL WORLD HOUSE 10:25  
  
Juilus, Jax, and Landon met up at the door, all scrambling to get out. They ran straight into each other which ended with them in a large heap of flailing body parts.  
  
Landon looked between them. "What happened to you, Julius? Thought you were getting laid..."  
  
"She's fifteen. What happened to you, Jax? Thought yours was really willing."  
  
"Ouch. Her dad came in...Landon?" Jax straightened himself out the fastest then coughed, recovering from their fall. He helped his friend up then vanished out the door.  
  
"We're discussing that..let's just leave."  
  
Three shouts followed their retreat.  
  
"Tara Toynbee, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in!?"  
  
"Angel Elizabeth Blade-Lebeau!"  
  
"Natasha Elizabeth Creed!"  
  
John Allerdyce a.k.a Pryo entered to hear three more shouts. These were uttered by three teenagers, all of who were in trouble for bad behavior.   
  
"Logan!"  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"I swear I ain't drunk!"  
  
Outside a police car pulled up. Ashley and Tristan stepped out only to be greeted by Kat, Kellie, and Derek's voodoo dancing and chanting. Corey had vanished into the night, screaming about 'cruel and undeserved torture beyond his control'.  
  
John slammed his manuscript for his novel down. "This is why I don't leave, mates..." 


	15. Punishments Straight From the Romantic

LIVING ROOM 12:45 a.m.  
  
"Johnny, would you please make them stop?" Angel buried her face further into the pillow, muttering curses against their instructors.   
  
"No, shelia. I think that if you three can have too much fun with little boys then it's only fair that you get instructions on proper technique; continued, mates." John placed another sheet of typing paper into the typewriter than scrolled it upward, beginning to work on his next novel. "Anything For a Price."  
  
Remy cleared his throat then pointed to his 'magic chalk board' with a stick of dark blue chalk. Several bits of it were smudged across his face cand arms; other parts had been ground into a fine dust on his shirt.   
  
"De next lessons come wit' de theory of biting during sex. Dat not be a turn on, petites, dat be creepy to any guy especially dis Cajun. Pay attention!" His ruler hit the floor, hard.  
  
The move was lost on Natasha who was sleeping on one couch and Tara who was meditating on the other side of the room, listening to what sounded oddly like the soundtrack to The Sound of Music. Angel rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling.  
  
"We already know this, Remy!"she sighed, irritably, staring up at the kalediscope colored ceiling. "Where'd Logan and Kitty Kat go?"  
  
"Outside,"came Tara's response from the floor. The odd part thing whole thing was her back was facing them and her eyes were closed while she sat indian-style on the floor. "Last I heard they were swapping stories and smoking cigars."  
  
John looked up, abruptly, pushing aside his newly prescriptioned glasses. "Stories? Ah, I remember stories from Australia with me mates...."  
  
"Dat's enough. Lesson number t'ree...having sex with animals is a no. Dat be cruel and it be creepy at de same time,"Remy said, drawing what might have been a large sea lion on the chalk board. He then drew a few details such as flowers, grass, squirrels. "Dis be de sea lion, king of de dry land."  
  
Angel cleared her throat. "Remy, hon, sea lions ain't dry land creatures...they're more water tolerant."  
  
"SEA LION!" The shriek came from the front door. Kat stood there, staring with profound hatred at the chalk-drawn picture while her new cronies-Kellie and Derek hung around behind her, attempting and failing to look tough. All three looked like a bunch of nuts. "Argh...kill it, my fairy guardians. Kill it!"  
  
She pointed to the sea lion with another shriek seconds before the two demons ,um, kids ran at it, screaming.  
  
1:36  
  
"You haven't seen the last of us!" Sabertooth's growl was barely heard over the sound of retreating car engines. Remy and Logan's car vanished from the driveway at the same moment when he disappeared into the woods.  
  
John Allerdyce turned back to the children gathered before him. All looked much too bright-eyed and straight-faced to be the group of kids that had tormented his thoughts all night. He couldn't deal with this tonight.  
  
"All of you, GO TO BED. And I mean stay there." He pointed toward the hall, putting on his stern face. He crossed both arms, glowering until the misbehaving adolescents slinked off to their rooms; all appeared ready to cry at any moment. "I MEAN TO STAY IN THERE UNTIL MORNING, MATES AND SHELIAS!"  
  
"YES, JOHN!"   
  
John coughed once then settled into his chair again, sliding in another sheet of paper. He scrolled it upward for a few moments then smiled, beginning to type.  
  
Chapter Two: Price of a Soul  
  
MORNING 8:30   
  
Voice Overture: As of this moment the children have been sharing a house and chaperones for two months. They have had trials and tribulations beyond the normal along with facing the terror of the Summers people. Nothing could prepare them for this morning....house cleaning duties.  
  
"You wanted to play and have a good time last night, mates? You thought a little hanky panky in the bedrooms would fix your problems, shelias?" John paced in front of the assembled line-up. He looked at each of them then returned to the counter, taking up a straw bucket filled with small, white, folded sheets of paper. "Guess what, mates? This is my ship now so you all just...fall in line to recieve your orders!"   
  
"Do we really have to listen to him?"Ashley leaned over to ask the question to Tara and Angel who stood behind her. "I mean, what can he really do?"  
  
Angel shrugged.  
  
"A duet with Kat?"Tara suggested then shuddered with everyone else at the possibility. She placed her hand into the basket and withdrew a note, studying it. "Kitchen duty."  
  
"Yay, I get to work with Tara!" Kellie threw her arms around the frog-like teenager, causing to freeze up. "Oh, we'll have so much fun and get to be life long friends."  
  
"Someone save me."  
  
"Sorry, Tara, but I got bedroom duty. Ashley's got the job of cleaning up outside...with Russ." Angel smirked at the notation then quickly removed it at Ashley's glare.  
  
"Can't I change tasks with someone, John? Please? I don't want to work with Russ...he stares at me all the time,"she whined, pouting. Strange since the scowl hadn't left her face for more than a few moments in their entire time here. "I'll be good. It's just...Russ scares me."  
  
John chuckled. "Speak of the devil and he shows up. G'day, mate."  
  
"Hello, John. Angel, Tara, Kellie...my beloved." Russ smiled for a moment before vanishing outside with a flapping black trash bag. The door slammed behind him, much too loudly.   
  
"Nope. I think you'll be staying where you are...I don't really like the influence you have on my sweet little friend Angel, shelia.....what's so funny?" John stared at the hysterical bunch of teenagers in front of him. Ashley and Tara were leaning against the wall, laughing but the strange was Angel who laid on the floor, laughing."Did I say something funny?"  
  
"Yeah, you put Angel and sweet in a sentence together." Tara coughed to clear her throat after their laughing fit. She spit out a mouthful of that green goo stuff of hers; it hit his shirt then slid down. "Oops."  
  
"Seriously, even I know not to do that,"Angel pointed out, smirking now that she'd recovered. She stood up and wiped dirt off herself; she picked up a load of sheets from the table. "Time to go clean bedrooms. See you guys later. Bye, Johnny!"  
  
Ashley watched her retreat then glanced at Tara. "Is it legal to be that happy about cleaning up bedrooms?"  
  
"Not usually. Now, go outside and play with your lover."  
  
"Why me?"she sighed but regretablly made her way outside, closing the door behind her. One last sound was heard before it slammed. "What the hell are you doing with a pink chicken?"  
  
"Flamingo!"  
  
BEDROOMS 10:45  
  
"The creepy undead spider came crawling in our tent. Down came the shoe and the spider's legs were bent, up rose the spider and crawled out in the rain. Soon the creepy undead spider will crawl back in again." Kat threw the blanket off the bed, folding it up over the headboard and leaving the bottom part of the bed bear.  
  
"Kat, do you NOT know how to make up a bed?"Angel asked, looking up from dusting off a bookcase and the mirror on top. She dropped the rag onto the dresser then walked over, taking the blankets from the headboard. "Take one side."  
  
She stared at it a moment then picked it up, bunching it into a ball.  
  
"The side, Kat, the side."   
  
She took up one side, holding it for a moment then tossed it into the air. It bloomed out then fell onto the bed in parachute form; the blankets covered the entire bed for a moment then fell off. Kat stared a moment then burst into tears.  
  
"It's not the end of the world, Kat. It's just making beds...why don't you try dusting and I'll make the bed?" Angel gave her a hopeful look, already begining to pick up the covers and place them on the bed, smoothing out wrinkles. "It would be easier."  
  
"Yes, my friend, but if the Pixie Princesses jumps out what do I do?" Kat abandoned the covers then went to the dresser. She wiped her tears away with the dust rag before beginning to spray rather than mist the mirror with chemicals.   
  
"Try to sell her Johnny's novel for a price."  
  
"Who's Johnny?" She looked completely clueless.  
  
"Pyro, Kat, Pryo. Pyro. Pyro." She flapped the covers a moment then tucked them under the mattress; she studied her handiwork then nodded. "Another satisfied customer and just to be sure it's right..."   
  
Angel backed up a few steps then ran and jumped on the bed, bouncing on the balls of her feet for a moment. She stopped when her head smacked the ceiling.  
  
"It's good...Kat, what are you doing...? Stop that...Kat!"  
  
OUTSIDE 10:50  
  
Voice Overture: An hour earlier Ashley has abandoned our fork-loving hero, Russ Collins. Russ at this very moment has become intent upon filling large, black plastic bags with leaves. The window curtain of an upstairs bedroom rustles...who could it be? {voice fades out}   
  
"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.  
  
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love!   
  
O, that she knew she were!" Russ stared, longingly up toward the window yet again with the look of a lost puppy.  
  
Ashley looked down at him a moment then shook her head. "Stop rippin' off that dead, white poet guy, Russ! You just killed an already dead play,"she called before slamming the window shut. It came up again for a moment. "And you might want to recover your leaves."  
  
He turned only to be greeted by leaves scattered all over the yard and spilling from his bag. No one else was in sight.  
  
"Noooo, the aliens have struck again!"  
  
KITCHEN 11:00  
  
"Kellie, stop pouring soap in there! The dishes are already drowning...."  
  
FARTHEST BEDROOM 11:00  
  
Natasha turned over and buried her head in a pillow, muttering something about 'toads attacking'.   
  
LIVING ROOM 12:30  
  
Within the few hours of housework John had undergone a transformation. He paced the length of the room wearing what looked suspiciously like the twin to Kat's army uniform. He held a lighter in one hand, controlling it into little animals that walked across his hand before changing.   
  
"After finishing the first few chapters of my novel I have decided to give an update on your cleaning duties, mates and shelias." He stopped walking, directly in front of Tara. "You, shelia, did a splendid job with the kitchen despite your less intelligence...mate." He returned to pacing. "The bedrooms? They're good, beautifully done if not a little 'wet'. Outside didn't improve much but who am I to expect perfection from the two stupidest members of my crew, mate?"  
  
Ashley glowered at him. "I ain't stupid!" Her statement was proved a little less true when a fork clattered off of Russ' nose; four more laid across his nose, balancing by their bowls.  
  
"I give up, mates and shelias. For the next twenty-four hours...LEAVE ME AND MY NOVEL ALONE." John picked up his typewriter and a giant stack of paper then stalker off. He was met in the hall by a barely awake Natasha Creed.   
  
Natasha rubbed her eyes, stared at him a moment, then shook her head. "I'm not going to question, Joh, I'm really not."  
  
"I give up!" The bedroom door slammed afterwhile leaving them all in silence. All eyes went to Natasha.  
  
She barely blinked. "What..? What did I do? I haven't been up long enough to cause a problem..." 


	16. PROLOGUE UNVEILED THREE MONTHS

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. I don't own The Human Torch or Fantastic Four...I own nothing except these lovely muses that constantly torment me. Enjoy the read, poppets.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Voice Overture: As of this moment the Unreal World has been running without too many hitches *hissing sounds in the background* uhm, for three months. We take you live to the living room where a tough task is being tackled in the living room; you've heard of Star Wars? Well this is Fire Wars thanks to our latest visitor, The Human Torch...where do they get these people. Let us listen in...  
  
"Kat, that's enough! You've already caught half the furniture on fire with this stupid feud..." Ashley glowered at the not-so-young mutants with a look of amusement and distaste. She was, as had become common except with a select few, ignored.  
  
"I'm the best 'cause I can create and control fire. So you're both total, total idiots,"Kat said, triumphantly as she stuck her tongue out at John Allerdyce and Jonathan "Johnny" Storm a.k.a Pyro and the Human Torch.   
  
The Human Torch was fully ablaze by now while Pyro simple looked...irritated. The three fire related people/mutant/things faced off in a trinagular shape. Yellow tape had been circled around the three of them and dangled over furniture.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm on fire!" The Human Torch's fireball barely missed her head but crashed through the wall, leaving a seared hole.  
  
"Tell me about,"Kellie mumbled from where she was standing in the doorway. Her gaze was fixed on their visitor with a look of affection, one much similar to that of Russ toward Ashley. Her eyes were dazed and dreamy. "I'm in love."  
  
Pyro sighed and created a medium-sized elephant to stomp and snort repeatedly at Kat; it stood for all of ten minutes before she made it attack The Human Torch.  
  
"Kat, stop it! He's a visitor!"  
  
"Listen to Ashley." The fire elephant leaped over his head after the human torch. "Shelia, would you stop being such a pain? Seperately we have more intelligence then six of you would have..." The insult barely made a dent as she simply blinked before noticing that their visitor was flying around the ceiling.  
  
"Hey, no fair! I want to fly, too....Pixie Fairy Princesses can fly!" As if it would prove her point, Kat took a running leap out of the window, earning several gasps and stunned sounds from those in the room. The last sound was a shriek....or was it?  
  
Voice Overture: Uh-oh. I believe it's time we move on to another room...things seem about to get ugly as Ashley's screaming and waving her fist. In a totally unrelated and completely safe story it appears our resident X-Men and Brotherhood raised girls are plotting their next escape. Let's listen in a little....  
  
"What do you expect us to do, Natasha? We're already under house arrest for those guys..." Angel flopped down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with a look of boredem and crossed eyes.   
  
Natasha sighed and spoke with the patience of dealing with short syllable worded people. "Windows were invented for a reason, Angelic One,"she said, walking over and thumping the class. She waved her hand a moment. "Bad move."  
  
"You two are incredibly unintelligent." Tara stared at her invention with something between interest and distaste at her friends' behavior. She slid the invention away then looked up. "Just offer to go grocery shopping and..." She snapped her fingers. "Like that, we're gone."   
  
"One problem, Tara. Ashley and Tristan already went grocery shopping for the week...what's your next brilliant plot?"she asked with a smirk before rolling over and off her bed. "Ow."  
  
She shrugged. "Natasha's idea unless you have something. Hey, get that camera out of here! This is a serious meeting!"  
  
Voice Overture: So sorry to interrupt, ladies. If you really want to leave why not just use the old sneak out as the maid or someone? It would be much easier and cause less arguements...  
  
Three smiles came across their faces. "It might could work...it just might."  
  
Voice Overture: Glad to be of assistance. The voice will now be leaving. Good day.  
  
"Bye, Voice!"  
  
SEVERAL HOUSE AND SEVERAL LIES LATER  
  
"Did you know that after you kiss someone their spit stays in your mouth for two years?"Tara asked as they made their way toward their next destination, some dance club. "What do you think of that, Natasha?"  
  
Natasha scrubbed her tongue with the back of one hand, making faces and gagging sounds. "I think I'm gonna need some antidefectant spray, Tara,"she replied, gagging then spitting onto the ground.  
  
"Aw, come on, Tasha. Johnny ain't that bad."  
  
"You haven't had his tongue down your throat before, either, Angelic One,"she muttered with a final gag. Her hands straightened out her rather large, somewhat holey clothes as they approached the large, neon-sight lit club with the words SILVER LIZARD LOUNGE printed across in blue lights.  
  
Angel stared at the sign a moment with an incredibly confused look. "You sure this is the place, Tara...? I mean, Silver Lizard Lounge? Sounds like a bad horror movie hangout,"she pronounced with a trying-to-hide, note trying, smirk.  
  
Tara rolled her eyes. "Landon said the Silver Lizard Lounge...they should be here. And if they're not...?"she asked, looking at her companions for the continuation of the sentence.  
  
"We find 'em and kill 'em?"Angel offered with a hopeful smile that Natasha also showed. "Please?"  
  
"Yeah, that's the basic plan."  
  
Natasha shrugged and stepped forward. "To the Silver Lizard Lounge."  
  
It hadn't been their best choice to lie and sneak out. Who was counting on the fact that Pyro was in the mist of his own romance with the house's maid? None of them had until he'd kissed Natasha full on the mouth. She was still having issues with it.   
  
Anything to have some freedom to be normal, Tara thought as she walked with her friends inside. Landon's phone call had been a little strange considering how they'd parted ways before and the fact that she hadn't given him the number. It wasn't odd really since the number was in the phone book. She thought, anyway. Who was ever completely sure where their phone number was? Take that song. Jenny 867-5309. Where was Jenny's number?  
  
"Welcome to the Silver Lizard Lounge,"the rather small mexican 'bouncer' at the door greeted upon their entrance. He gave them all a smile before returning to the rather large chested, long-legged, incredibly white girl he had been convering with before their arrival. "Your friends are waiting in the Lick-It Bar..."  
  
Tara blinked, staring at him a minute before twitching. A memory had come back of being five and walking into Logan's room. It hadn't been Logan in the room but two other people. "Lick-It Bar...? Oh, God, I remember."  
  
"What do you remember?"Natasha asked without stopping in her walk/sashay across the club to a brightly lit in green sign. LICK-IT BAR. "Something bad?"  
  
"A suppressed memory,"she mumbled but walked slowly, still twitching slightly every now and then. Her expression was that of someone who would rather claw their eyes out then see whatever was going on there. "It's not something a five-year-old should know...or see."  
  
"Hey, look! It's my Julius!" Before anyone could stop her Angel was across the club with her arms around his neck and her mouth against his. Julius didn't seem to mind as his hands were busy with juggling his bottle and his over anxious 'playmate'.  
  
"Is she always that friendly?"Jax questioned when Natasha had come to his side. His face was showing with it's scales and strange colored eyes. "Or is Julius special...?"  
  
"Angel's a friendly child...too friendly. Let's go play scrabble, Jax." Natasha said the question with enough edge to give it another meaning. His reaction was to vanish through the throng of people after catching her arm and telling his friends he'd 'see them later to compare statistics'.  
  
Tara sat on the bar stool beside Landon, giving him a half smile. She quickly set into her apology for Logan's behavior a few days before. "I'm sorry, Landon. Logan's overprotective and...and he's really a nice guy if you meet him the right way. I didn't know or mean for him to show up ----"  
  
He placed his hand over her mouth, holding it there. "You don't have to apologize. If you were mine, I'd be overpotective, too,"he said then removed his hand. He gestured to the bar and bartender. "Buy you a drink? Doesn't have to be alcoholic."  
  
"Alright then coke, I guess. Why are you so much nicer than those two idiots my friends are attached to?"Tara questioned, gesturing to where Angel and Julius were busy, having a little too much fun on the dance floor. The sight of her best friend in such a strange way was quite disturbing to the seventeen-year-old who had rarely seen anything this intimate despite her encounter with Bobby and Jubilee. "And why do you hang around them?"  
  
"I'm not always nice, Tara. They work with me...it's part of a deal we're on. The three of us work together, doing whatever we're told without question and in payment we have a place to stay, food to eat, and for most of us it keeps us out of jail."   
  
"Jail?" Her expression clouded over with worry.  
  
Landon nodded. "Julius is originally from Canada. Jax is, well, Jax is...in a category by himself. Me, I'm just a little far from a bad guy and a hell of a far from a normal guy. Don't believe apperances or everything you know."  
  
So at least one of them's trying to stay out of jail. One's in the wrong country. Why isn't there a red flag raising?Tara wondered, stirring her drink for a moment with her finger before giving it up. She took a drink then smiled. It was actually pretty good.  
  
"Where do you guys work? I mean, who do you work for?"  
  
"Just some guy. He calls himself and makes us call him Apocalypse."  
  
She smirked. "I knew an Apocalypse once..."  
  
Landon looked suprised after taking a drink from his glass. "Truly?"he asked, staring at her as if he expected it to be a lie.  
  
"Uh-huh. I taught him how to spell Apocalypse right instead of the wrong way...what's this Apocalypse look like?"  
  
"Hard to describe. Do you want to dance, Tara?"  
  
"Not really....I kind of like talking to you, Landon."  
  
Angel and Julius appeared beside them all of a sudden. Angel's face was set in a determined look of innocence while Julius' was amusement.  
  
"We have something to do tonight, Tara..."  
  
Tara sighed,"What would that be, darling?" The endearment was given without thinking from years with Logan.  
  
"Julius said if we wash every car in the parking lot we get three hundred bucks each...you game?" Angel stared at her with a look that said no was NOT an option.  
  
"Sure, why not? I've always wanted to touch something hard with wheels..."  
  
SEVERAL HOURS LATER  
  
"We really need to get back, Angel. John's probably starting to wonder why we've been so quiet all day...Angel!" Tara tried repeatedly to draw her friend's attention away from her current position with Julius against a car. It had been doing nothing but failing for the last ten minutes.  
  
"Why?"Angel repeated without opening her eyes or moving away from Julius. His mouth went back to hers once she'd finished speaking while his hands continued their 'examination'. Angel's own arms were around his neck and she was pressed against him despite her own mostly soaked clothes. Her shoes were about the only thing not soaked on her.   
  
Tara grew impatient and caught hold of her friend's hair, pulling hard enough to seperate the two. "Okay, Angel, tell your little boy toy good-bye. We're going. Jax promised to take Natasha back after the next three rounds of Scrabble are over...we're going to catch a bus. NOW, COME ON. Julius, Landon said you have tweleve minutes to get outside before you get left. NOW,"she commanded, pulling Angel outside by a combination of her hair and a very tight grip on her wrist.  
  
Julius watched for a moment with a smirk. "Bye, Angel." The tone of voice said he didn't think she was much of an angel, considering several factors.  
  
"Bye, Julius,"she answered with a lovestruck sigh. Her expression was dreamy and vanished into complete adoration. It was quite scary.  
  
"Your behavior was horrible, Angel. What would you call that little...display?" Tara dragged her friend along toward the bus stop, releasing her hair but keeping a grip on her wrist around the bracelet there.   
  
Angel smiled. "Tongue wrestling."  
  
"That's disturbing...I want you to stay right here against this stop sign. Do you hear me?"  
  
She sighed, leaning against the stop sign, somewhat reluctantly. She began to explain a few details of the night, making gestures with her hands. Streetlight caught on the black streaks to her hair. A car pulled up at that moment and the window rolled down.........  
  
"Were you two looking for a little action?"  
  
That's the prologue. Now, doesn't it all make sense? The three hundred dollars each has come in and there's also about to be the rest of the night with Remy and Logan. Yeah, fun part. 


	17. Night's End then MARTINA AND REESE

1:25 a.m.  
  
"I swear to you, on this bottle of beer, we were not hookin' it!" Angel's voice had reached a mumbling like sound. She held up the beer bottle as if for proof.  
  
Tara already knew what was coming when Remy took it from her hand.   
  
"Dat beer bottle be empty, 'tite ange,"he pointed out, setting it back down and paying the bartender for another beer. "De swearing be bad also."  
  
"Argh! I give up!"  
  
"What was dat, cher?" Remy tilted his head to study her. Her response was less then polite and barely heard with her head buried in her arms.  
  
"Va-te'n,"she mumbled without looking up. It translated into 'go away' but did no good against him. He simply patted the top of her head before returning to his drink.  
  
"Logan, can't we just go back to the house? It's pointless for us to sit here while you two get as close to drunk as you can...can we please go?" Tara made her appeal to Logan while trying to make him look away from the stage where there was a new 'performer'. "LOGAN!"  
  
"What, kid?"he asked without looking away. His expression was one of concentrated interest when he lifted the beer to his mouth and took a swallow. "You haven't told me yet how you got the money. Tell me and we'll take you both back."  
  
"Washing cars!"she yelled for the twelth time. She hit one hand against the bar top with a glare at him. "Julius said he'd give us money if we washed EVERY car in the parking lot. We did; why do you think Angel was soaking wet?"  
  
"No comment but can you prove it?"  
  
"Not yet..." An idea came to her and she began to search through the few pockets she had, tossing random things off the counter. She came up with a business card. She closed her hand around it then caught Logan's arm, giving a hard yank. "We're going to get a second opinion."  
  
"Who would this second opinion be?"he asked but followed her, leaving his beer with a muttered 'watch that, gumbo'. He allowed her to drag him over to the group of payphones in the corner then watched while she dialed the number.  
  
How could I have forgotten that Landon gave me their number? It was so simple. It could have saved us at least part of the night with these two...pick up your phone, Landon. Tara continued to turn the card over, reading first the name and number then the business part of it.  
  
Apocalypse. Adventurer. An address and phone number followed along with a listing of associates-Kanteon, Keller, Jax, and the last one had been blotted out with something like a black permanent marker.  
  
The phone was picked up the other side. "Apocalypse's headquarters. Julius speaking,"came the voice with the drowsy sound of sleep to it but no cheerfullness. It simply sounded like someone interrupted from sleep.  
  
"Juilus, it's Tara. Will you tell someone what we did tonight?"she demanded, tightening her hold on the phone and crossing her other fingers behind her back. Logan noted the move. "You will? Oh, thank you.....phone, Logan."  
  
He took the phone and held it there, listening to breathing for a moment. He breathed heavily in response for a moment then spoke into the phone. "Who's this?"  
  
"Julius. Am I suppoused to tell you what they did tonight?"  
  
"Yes. What did Tara and Angel do tonight?"  
  
Julius sat up from the sounds behind him, drawing in a breathe. He spoke almost in a monotone, almost. "Angel and I were playing around. I bet her that she and Tara wouldn't wash every car in the parking. She asked what the bet was; I offered them three hundred each. To my great suprise...they did it. I paid up. I am a man of my word. Can I go to sleep now?"  
  
He hung up the phone in response to the boys question. "So you weren't lying but that doesn't mean it's over...does Pyro know where you are?"he demanded, looking down at the seventeen-year-old.  
  
Her expression turned solemn and slightly depress. "No. The camera guy gave us the idea to sneak out using a maid's costume; Tasha was with us but decided to play Scrabble with Julius...they're probably still in the back room of the Silver Lizard Lounge."  
  
"Oh they are? We'll fix her little red wagon. Go rejoin Angel and Gumbo." Logan waited until she was out of the room before making his phone call. The other end was answered after twelve rings.   
  
"What?"  
  
"I think there's something for you to see at the Silver Lizard Lounge..."  
  
His growl was proof of his irritation. "Tasha."  
  
"You get a cigar, asshole,"he answered then set the phone down with his friend still on the other line. He walked away, back toward the two children and their incapable current guardian. Things had gone bad within the time he was gone.  
  
"Now don't talk dat way to mon ange! Dat's disrespectful and it be crude..." Remy stood and threw several selectively charged cards toward a young man with looks more fit for a college fraternity guy. Angel hadn't moved from her seat except she had begun to drink Remy's beer; Tara was leaned against the bar beside her, shaking her head in a pitying way.  
  
"Gumbo, what's the meaning of this?"Logan demanded, stopping his friend/irritation of the moment with a glare. "Something happen while the kid and I were gone?"  
  
"Dis...dis boy was makin a move on de angelic child..."  
  
The boy smirked. "She looks more like a fallen angel to me. One I'd like to see without the barrier of clothes..."  
  
Logan admitted he didn't really like the kid but nobody was going to treat her or any other girl that way. He stepped in between them but was saved from having to interfere when a beer bottle clocked the guy across the head. He went down like a sack of bricks.  
  
"I hate people like him,"Angel scowled then motioned to Tara. "Let's wait in the car. I've had enough of clubs and the people that hang out there. I just want to go home and sleep."  
  
Tara raised her hand. "I second the motion. Can we go home, Logan?"  
  
"Which home do you mean, kid?"he asked without looking at either of them but catching hold of their arms. He all but dragged them from the bar with Remy in tow, slower. "The Unreal World house or the mansion?"  
  
"The Unreal World...I have a feeling we're in trouble. Alot of trouble."  
  
"I'd agree. Let's go..."  
  
NEXT MORNING 11:28 a.m.  
  
"I can't believe you two would do this again!" John's voice echoed through the living room with the force to shake windows. Strangely enough, it didn't but did cause both teenagers to grimace. "Today is a big day for me and you two couldn't even behave the night before! The play is suppoused to start today, sheliahs, today not tomorrow!"  
  
"We're sorry, John!"Tara appealed with her straightest face only to earn a glare. She quickly looked down and tightened her arms around the printed out script. "Please let me play director. Please, please, please, please. I won't do it again."  
  
Angel laughed but covered it with a coughing fit.  
  
"Fine but one more slip up and...it's home for of both."  
  
Voice Overture: I'm sure everyone has been keeping track of our show will be interested to know that the children will be presenting a play. It was written by our own St. John Allerdyce and will be directed by Tara Toynbee. The play is a spoof of Romeo and Juliet entitled MARTINA AND REESE. The story follows the devil-destroyed love of two teenagers who find themselves trapped between mutant/human realtions. Who actually writes this stuff?  
  
"Hey, that would be me!"  
  
Voice Overture: Sorry, John. Pratice has just begun for this amazing tale...let's look in on our young cast and director. Tension within the set...intriguing....  
  
12:37 p.m.   
  
"Ashley, you're not putting enough feeling into Martina! This is the man you love and he's being forbidden you for his mutation...feel the torrid romance!" John dumped his megaphone back into Tara's lap. He then turned his attention to the others. "Russ, you're not some poor fork obsessed mutant from the ghetto; you're Reese, son of the most powerful mutant in the world and sworn to kill all humans. Play the part!"  
  
Tara rolled her eyes skyward where Natasha stood on a rafter, playing the dressed in black angel with holey clothes. Real black feather covered cardboard wings were on either side of her body. "Drama queen. Has Magneto called in the last few days? I haven't heard anything from him..."  
  
Natasha nodded, sending a spray of black glitter down from her hair. Another of Kat's 'artistic touches'; these touches only irritated everyone else. "He's called twice. Once to tell us to straighten up before we get in real trouble and once to discuss the new mutants he'd like us to take on..."  
  
"Any clue who they are yet?"she asked, tilting her head further back while the stage 'whisphers' continued before her. It didn't affect her conversation once she tuned out. "I'd like to know who we're targetting."  
  
"As you know, Kellie and Derek are safe. Russ seems to have too many 'mental health' issues to sort out. Corey's among the list as is our little friend Angel...Retribution X members are off-limits since they ARE in the wrong dimension."  
  
Tara stopped listening. Magneto wanted Angel. She didn't think she could do that to her best friend; she'd managed. Angel wasn't as strong and often either spaced out or retreated to herself; she wouldn't take well to that place. Although, she did have a few up with her normal appearance and empathy. It gave her an advantage.  
  
"Why Angel? Her powers are typical if not a little combination..."  
  
Natasha shrugged, sending down more black feathers. "How should I know? Ask him."  
  
"Maybe I will."  
  
John cleared his throat from his position at her side once more. He glowered at her. " 'Ello, sheliah. I'm sorry to interrupt the gossip hour but...WE HAVE A PLAY TO TURN OUT IN THREE WEEKS!"  
  
"Sheesh, chill out, John,"she said, drawing her megaphone back to her mouth. She swallowed a moment and wet her lips before speaking. "Act III. Scene IV."  
  
Ashley stared, blankly at the paper she held. She began to read after a moment; her expression changed with the words. "Craighton is nothing but a name. Give up your villianess ways and accept my love...ignore your father's plans and be mine,"she said for a moment then began to gag. The gagging continued for a few minutes until Kat burst onto the stage in a complete nurse uniform. Her strawberry blonde hair had been pulled back and pinned with several large, bright pink flower clips. Tristan chased after her, brandishing a large purple water gun that had been wrapped in duct tape.  
  
"Get back here you...you evilness!"  
  
"He's after me!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kat's shrieks echoed throughout the set while she ran forward. Her foot caught on a cord that was conviently attached to the hangar where Natasha waited in her costume. The hangar rattled, throwing her forward and over the side. Another sound split the air; this more a howl then a scream.   
  
"Kaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!"  
  
"Ah! The Pixie Queen!"Kat shrieked then proceeded to attack Natasha before Tristan caught up to her, waving his water gun. He slipped and tripped over his own feet then sprawled on the floor between the two females. His water gun flew across the room and hit the first part of Angel's set (a large building with the word PURPLE MONKEY BRA written across); this caused a chain reaction that knocked every piece of scenery and much of the furniture to the floor.  
  
The Australian stood a moment, surveying the damage then pointed in the direction of outside. "Get out of my sight. All of you. You've ruined it..ruined it." His expression was something between anguish and real anger.  
  
The set was vacated in under thirty seconds. Loud cursing followed the retreating group while in the background a piece entitled FIRE DANCE played at an incredibly fast rate. The band playing it went unseen but held several off key players; the song intensfied with the slamming of the door.  
  
3:45 p.m.  
  
There's a large crowd of youths gathered outside of the Unreal World House. Familiar faces among them include the members of Retribution X, some of the household members, Bobby and Jubilee with their puppy, and a million other youths. At the center of this group is Kat who has taken a liking to Natasha's guitar. She was busily strumming out notes while wearing the black, cardboard wings that the other girl had been wearing; a ton of Mardi Gras beads hung around her neck and a crown of flowers rested on her head.   
  
"I'm so tired of being here  
  
Supressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone."  
  
Kat sang/screeched the words with the help of her audience. In the corner behind her, Ashley had removed a book from Richard's cooler. It was offered toward Russ as a kind of 'peace offering'.   
  
Russ stared at it, not touching it. "What is it?"  
  
"It's a book on stalking so that the next time you get obsessed with a girl you can stalk her right,"she answered with the book still offered. Something had changed since she'd talked to Richard and Tristan.   
  
Tristan almost freaked over the whole Russ thing but Richard had talked to her about it. He'd reminded her that not all guys were the same. He wasn't a bad person. A little weird and completely obsessed with forks and her. Ashley had to admit it was flattering on some levels. Who else could claim to have a guy fall head over heels in love with them on a first meeting? Not many.  
  
Logan, in their time, would hate it. He'd probably offer to kill the guy. He couldn't do it.  
  
"Thanks, Ashley." He took the book and leafed through it then smiled at her.   
  
Ashley hesitated a moment then smacked him. It was in the back of the head and hard.  
  
Instead of getting upset or mad Russ simply smiled. A sign of affection in it's own way. "I'll remember this book next time I get an obsession,"he promised then hugged her. She stiffed but patted the top of his head.  
  
A loud chorus of "awwwww" echoed from the gathered youths including Tara and Angel who were in a tree, tormenting squirrels. Yes, squirrels.  
  
One of the vile creatures leaped forward and into the middle of Kat's sing-along. The fire hazard, clumsy girl took one look at the animal then screeched and slammed the guitar down upon his head. It promptly splintered into pieces.  
  
Natasha's voice was the next sound along with the ripped of flesh as her talons came forward.  
  
"KAT!"  
  
Screams echoed from the sing-along group before they dispersed to run away. Some hid behind houses or trees while others ran further toward....home.  
  
Angel and Tara remained in their tree, staring down at the movement below. After a moment all of the other house members and Retribution X had retreated into trees. The ground and grass below them had turned into a yard of fire; the fight was on.   
  
"Go, Tasha! Kill! Kill! Kill!"  
  
"You can't kill Kat! We've tried, I've tried!"Tristan yelled, scrambling up higher in his tree. He watched them with a look of pure fear.   
  
"Oh." It was unclear who uttered the sentiment.   
  
John's voice over the megaphone broke their antics up. "THATS ENOUGH! GET IN HERE AND BEHAVE...OR NO MORE MOVIE NIGHTS. EVER."  
  
The ending should be in about four or five chapters. The Unreal World ends after their play but things will return to normal. Retribution X vanishes the same night and there will be several more revelations including Tara's place of staying. For those interest, I plan to write an X-Men:Evolution fic within the next month or so; it is titled BAYVILLE, INTEGRATED. Chocolate chip cookies to anyone who can figure out the hidden meaning. Rogue-Demon signing off with muses in plastic, duct tape taped box. 


	18. Uncle Johnny's Cure for Hangovers

11:25 p.m. (MOVIE NIGHT- WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, TITANIC, ROMEO + JULIET, SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE......)  
  
"Good stuff. Really good stuff. Oh, the good stuff." John furiously typed into his keyboard for a few moments then returned to watching the unfolding drama that was Titanic. He stared at the screen, typed some more then returned to the screen.  
  
Meanwhile in front of the tv, the children lay stretched out on either the floor, couch, or armchairs to mock the movie. For the moment Russ was throwing handfuls of popcorn at the screen.  
  
Kat 'blubbered' into a pillow while clutching Richard's shirt, which she occassionally blew her nose on. She had been behaving that way since the 'great passion scene in the car'. (Uh-hmm.)  
  
"Anyone that shuts her up will get paid,"Angel announced around a mouthful of chocolate chip cookies. There came a clatter from the kitchen where Derek and Kellie were busy making more food since their 'banishment'. "I have real money." She held up several crumpled, slightly torn, blue spotted dollars.  
  
Richard bent down and removed one sock. Ashley threw a pillow at Kat's head. Russ didn't move from his resting place to the side of Ashley's legs. Tara and Natasha continued to watch the movie, not trusting their friend. Corey hissed and slid further into his corner, clutching his cookie then began to eat.  
  
In response to Ashley's pillow Kat clutched onto Richard tighter but at the sight of his sock, shrieked and fled the room. A collective sigh went up.  
  
"Peace."  
  
"Pay me." Richard held out one hand and after a moment was rewarded with the dollars. He stared at them a minute. "What's the blue stuff?"  
  
Angel held up a tube of blue lipstick over one shoulder without removing her eyes from the tv screen. She removed the cap and twisted it up. "Coral Blue Number 4...I kiss all my money in case I see it again,"she explained with a shrug.  
  
Tristan stared at the lipstick a moment then studied her with a raised eyebrow. "Would you mind kissing something of mine, Angel?"  
  
"I don't kiss people who irritate me, Tristan. Sorry..."   
  
"TOO MUCH TALKING, NOT ENOUGH WATCHING, MATES!" John chunked a large, very heavy package of copier paper at them. It barely missed Natasha's head.  
  
"Bad John!"  
  
"That tape's over...what's next?" Russ stretched but reluntantly stood and made his way to the VCR, ejecting the tape and holding up their other choices. "We have Romeo + Juliet and Sleepless in Seattle."  
  
There were united groans then Kat leaped forward and snatched one tape. She ran down the hall then vanished into one of the rooms with a yell of triumph.   
  
John cleared his throat then looked at Russ. "What movie did she take, mate?"he asked before returning to his typewriter and paper. He began to type, furiously.  
  
"Sleepless in Seattle. We're stuck with Romeo + Juliet....Dicapro's sorry butt."  
  
More collective groans. Ashley shook her head and stood. "Forget it. I'm going to bed...night, guys. Russ, don't show up in my bed or I'll turn you into Blackened Chicken with Lemon Sauce without a second thought..." She smiled sweetly then vanished down the hall after Kat but with more grace.  
  
Within ten minutes of the real movie starting the others had either wandered off or fallen asleep in their current positions. They'd probably wake up there the next morning and 'wonder' what happened the night before; no one would be able to tell them.   
  
John stared at his screen a moment then began to type on his next romance novel.   
  
Anything For a Price Chapter Four: Making Good on Promises  
  
Jacob walked up the stairs and into his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him. His eyes immediately looked for his prize but to his not-quite suprise...she wasn't present. "I'm growing tired of your games, Marie,"he said but began a through search of the room. He should have known where she would be and that she wouldn't be the easiest person in the world to force into behaving. Marie didn't disappoint when she attacked him with the letter opener that had been on the table; it stabbed his shoulder but missed anything vital. Jacob caught her wrist and twisted it until the letter opener fell from her hand and she gasped in pain. "What did I say about hurting me? It wasn't a good idea..." Marie jerked her wrist from his grasp and glared at him. "I hate you. I'll always hate you,"she told him through clenched teeth as she crossed her arms. He laughed. "We'll see. Now it's time to make good on my promise that you would regret any misbehavior on your part...."  
  
"Kellie, Derek, go to bed! NOW!"  
  
SIX DAYS LATER 11:55 a.m.  
  
"To be honest, and give myself to you again. I wish I could give what is not mine to give. My reputation is large as the oceans and my love is deeper; the more I give, the more I have for both are endless." Ashley struggled to maintain a serious face throughout her lines as she looked down at Russ from her 'balcony'.   
  
Kat's voice rang out from somewhere above. "Get in here, child!"  
  
Ashley sighed with impatience then waved him away. "There's voices and I'm not schizophrenic. I'll be there in a minute, nurse! My darling, stay. Wait for me, I will return,"she said before vanishing into the 'other half' of her 'balcony'.  
  
Russ stood on his step ladder, whistling then looked through his lines, nodding and mumbling over his lines now and then. "Oh, very good line. Ah, a kiss from my lady love..." He smiled, broadly.  
  
She reappared, although her expression was irritated and her face turned slightly red with what looked like tomate paste. "Go to bed, Reese and good night. If you really love me send me a diamond ring and a marriage proposal the day after tomorrow, include the date and time. I will give up everything for you and follow my love where he leads."  
  
"Get in here!"  
  
"Shut up a minute. I'm getting some fresh air!"  
  
"Get in here!"  
  
"Give me a minute! Leave me to my misery, Romeo..." At this point, Ashley burst into tears and fled into the 'other half' of her 'balcony' once more with a final shriek from Kat.  
  
Russ placed a dramatic hand against his heart. "I wish I could have my life, my Martini by my si---"  
  
"My name's not Martini! It's Martina, you half-wit!" Ashley's voice rang out, disembodied.  
  
"CUT!"John yelled, coming onto the set and glowering up at them. He pointed at Russ first. "Her name is Martina, not Martini. She is not an alcoholic drink! She is a beautiful human with a heart that loves only you, Reese, the mutant prince, killer of humans."  
  
"Food's ready,"Angel announced as she skipped into the room, pulling David by the rope that had been knotted around one wrist. Scott's visor hung from the other hand. She stopped just short of on the set. "Hank said that anyone who intends to eat had better come now or else...Scott will eat it all."  
  
"Practice dismissed....one hour then places again!"  
  
Cheers and applause followed this statement while the housemates fled outside. Hank and Scott were standing by a fire, talking and grilling things while the other 'father and mother figures' stood off to one side, comparing pictures and childhood stories.  
  
The loudest voice from the bragging parents was quite obviously Remy's. "Mon 'tite ange stayed in de freezer for several hours wit'out catching anyt'ing 'cept hunger. Right, Logan, mon ami?"  
  
"Ah, that ain't nothin. Tara's been consuming large amounts of alcohol without intoxication since she was five...that's a true girl right there."  
  
Sabretooth interrupted with a growl and 'slurp' of his beer. "Tasha could clear a room out with her growling at five and had her first kill at seven. That's a little girl for a father to be proud of,"he said, grinning in a way that was predatory yet okay.  
  
12:15 p.m.  
  
Tara took her plate and drink then joined her brother who sat at one of the tables to the side. Her mouth almost dropped when she noticed he was talking to Sabretooth, Logan, and Gambit; the four seemed to be having an intelligent conversation.  
  
"Um...Mort?"she asked, unsure, as she came up behind him.  
  
Toad smiled when he saw her. "There's Tadpole. I hear that you've been out bar hopping...who's this Landon fellow?"he asked, helping her to set her stuff down then giving her a hug.  
  
She returned it, a little awkwardly while her friends, Tasha, Angel, and Retribution X, joined them at the table. "Maybe..uh, just a little."  
  
"Remember what you were taught about abstience, Tara?"he asked around a mouthful of food. "This goes for the rest of you, as well."   
  
Tara almost dropped her sandwich. Her friends continued eating as if he'd said nothing while Logan and the others simply nodded their agreement after taking long swallows of their beers.   
  
She thought a moment then recited from memory-"Abstience makes the heart grow fonder. If a guy says bullshit, it's really I love you and that means it's time to end the relationship. If he says he likes animals then he just wants to get inside my pants. If he claims to like sappy love movies he just wants to get inside my pants. Did I forget anything, Mort?"  
  
"Remy also taught de chiles about sexual education...dere no longer shall be any worry dat de femmes will become sexually active,"Remy said, thumping himself in the chest then coughing when it actually hurt.  
  
There was a laugh from down the table from Ashley. She quickly returned to her foot but not before casting one look at Logan and his beer; her expression was almost like one of the looks described in John's books. It way scary.  
  
"If anything...Remy's talk has made me WANT to be sexually active." Natasha calmly took a bite out of hamburger before Sabre's hand connected with the back of her head. She growled and moved away from him in response. "You're abusive, Dad."  
  
"Sometimes abuse is warranted,"Logan answered before getting another beer from the cooler beside him. It looked, oddly enough, like the twin to Richard's cooler.  
  
Richard's voice suddenly split the yard. "No one move! There's been a kidnapping!"  
  
Scott leapt up, pressing his hands to his face and screaming. "David! My child...oh no, they're taken my child."  
  
"Daddy, you have some mental issues to sort out. Kind of like Mommy,"David said, coming up behind Scott with three squirrels, which he held by the tails. "Are you going to die?" In response, his father picked him up and hugged him around tears. "Help. Me. Save. Me."  
  
"Not your child, Fairy Sucker! My cooler,"he moaned in the almost drunken way of a drunk.   
  
(Did that make sense?)  
  
"What's y'cooler look like, mon ami?"Remy asked, coming over to pat him on the back and in the process hit several people in the head, including Ashley and Sabretooth. "Remy help find it."  
  
"It's red,"he managed around his 'tears' and anguish.  
  
Logan cleared his throat. "Well look at the time. We need to be going, Gumbo....Rogue's expecting us back before Jean has one of her freak-outs. If, according to the time change, I'm right that should be in thirty minutes."  
  
"On y'own, mon ami." Remy took off running followed shortly by Logan. Victor motioned to under the table, between him and Logan's place 'settings'.   
  
"You might want to check that cooler the runt and I had. It's kind of red colored..."  
  
Richard around the table several times before finding the cooler and grabbing it. He hugged it and said several prayers.  
  
Ashley's thought on this display- Who would have thought Richard had any form of religion?  
  
"Break over! On the set again!" John's voice rang out across the area, dispersing parents and others from the front yard in a flood of car exhaust and stampeding feet.  
  
3:40 p.m. (PLAYING HOUSE....while Pyro's on the phone and after getting into the liquor supply)  
  
"Here we follow the happy couple through the front door of their new house,"Tara said in her best sportscaster voice while stalking behind Kellie and an even more depressed Corey. She held a video camera(turned off) and rolled up copy of The Commercial Appeal in front of her like a camera and microphone.  
  
"Mommy, Daddy!" Kat ran forward, clutching a giant My Size Princess Barbie in one arm. Russ and Derek followed with a giant show of smacking each other with plastic swords; upon their 'parents' entrance Derek broke into tears and threw his arms around Kellie.  
  
"Mommy, Russ won't stop hitting me!"he sobbed, over dramatically but in a perfect imitation of another familiar five-year-old.  
  
"Ah, poor little Derek." Their 'mother' knelt and hugged the too big, little boy, patting the top of his curly head. "Russ, don't hit your brother."  
  
"But, Mommy...Derek started it,"he whined, dropping the plastic sword and kicking it under their makeshift couch.   
  
Corey tried, visibly, to shove Kat away from her place around one of his legs. Her My Size Barbie laid on the carpet nearby, discarded. Kat had now placed one thumb in her mouth while clinging to his legs.  
  
"Aren't the children just so adorable?"Tara muttered in sarcasm then turned her video camera toward the makeshift 'living room'. There was a quick glimpse of Angel and Tristan before it shifted angles. "It appears the teenage daughter has decided to have her own fun."  
  
"Angel, you are in so much trouble!"Kat screeched, untangling herself from her father's leg and racing into the room to torment her sister. Angel barely glanced away from her 'make out' session with Tristan; the not so little monster was ignored. "Mommy, Angel's got her boyfriend here!"  
  
That got a reaction. "He ain't my boyfriend, stupid!"  
  
"Then why you kissing him?"Russ demanded, smacking Tristan in the head with his plastic sword. He did this several more times; Derek caught on and began to do the same.  
  
"Cause she's in loooooooove,"came the sing-songy sound from Derek's mouth before he caught Russ' hands and began to twirl in a circle. "Angel and Tristan sitting in a tree K-I-F-F-I-N-G!"  
  
"I thought it was K-I-S-S-I-N-G?"Kat demanded, glaring at him before latching onto Corey's leg at the glare. "Daddy, Derek's staring at me again!"  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WHILE I WAS GONE?" John's voice was incredibly irritated and held even more of his accent because of it. He glowered at the group, crossing his arms. The look he sent them could have killed anyone especially this drunk 'family'.  
  
"Oh, it's Uncle Johnny!" At Tara's words the 'children', even those not 'in the family', leapt forward to hug and cling to him.  
  
"Uncle Johnny, Uncle Johnny, Uncle Johnny!"  
  
9:00 p.m. (LATER DINNER.....and EARLY HANGOVERS)  
  
"Dinner's ready!"Kellie yelled from the kitchen, causing everyone except herself, Kat, Derek, and their chaperones to cringe at the voices.   
  
Ashley covered her head with a pillow from the couch, mumbling something. Russ had done the same except with his book on stalking; Tristan wore earmuffs but had his head in a bucket of ice water to 'soothe the hangover'; Angel and Tara were simply lumps on the couch under a blanket.  
  
John went around, thumping each of them on the top of the head with a large, metal soup latel. He had to use a few more smacks on Russ then anyone else but before long they had all come out from under their 'protective coverings'.  
  
"Mates, you shoulda thought of your hangovers before getting in to the liquor supply and making me Uncle Johnny. For dinner tonight we have Gumbo from Remy Lebeau, chili cheese fries from Logan Something or Other, Chocolate Chip Cookies from Victor Creed, and Apple Sauce from Scott and David Summers,"he announced while Kellie, Kat, Derek, and Scott displayed the dishes like a group of strange Vana Whites. "Eat up, mates and sheliahs."  
  
Angel's face twisted into a sick look before she along with the others vanished from the hall; the sound of retching greeted the remaining ones.  
  
John's smile turned into an evil smirk. "That should keep them out of the liquor supply and away from games of Playing House for the next two weeks and a day,"he said, helping to set the table then settling down with the others to eat.  
  
Kellie ate in silence a moment then stopped on a bite of Chili Cheese Fries. "These people can cook. Too bad the other's are too intoxicated to eat it....and hungover and sick and retching and.."  
  
"That's enough words, Kellie."  
  
"Sorry, Scott."  
  
Kat's voice broke dinner. "How about a duet after dinner, Scottie boy?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Nooooo!"  
  
Even drunk, hungover, and sick to their stomaches that was a punishment worse than anything they could deal with at the moment.   
  
More retching from the bathroom and it's occupants. Their voices rang out for a moment then silence followed...very bad silence. 


	19. Karoke Nights and Congo Lines

A/N: If you haven't guessed it yet, some of this stuff has really been done. Spoons is real. 'Suffering' through your father getting drunk? Done it. The paper ball baseball that they play? It's my youth group's favorite passtime aside from 'trying' to rap and also the play thing. That's another passtime of mine. Who doesn't like to kill Shakesphere? *ignores raised hands in background* They don't count.   
  
Angel and Tara: Let 'em read already!  
  
RD: Enjoy the read...I have a date with duct tape and a box. *peels off duct tape, loudly but slowly*  
  
SEVEN DAYS LATER 2:45 p.m.  
  
"New game!" Russ took two new sheets of 'script' paper from the table and placed one on each end of the hall. He closed each of the doors on his way back then bounced their 'ball' a moment. 'The ball' it turned out was a paper ball that had been wrapped in blue, green, and yellow electric tape with streaks of duct tape. "Who's running?"  
  
"Tara!" Angel pointed at her friend then placed the hat she'd stolen from John's room on her head, turning it around backwards. She blew a bubble with what looked like about six pieces of bright pink bubble gum balls. "Tara can go first. I'll play umpire. Tristan can take first base. Russ can pitch. Ashley and the others can run interference or somethin' like that...GAME ON!"  
  
"Pitching, now!" Russ looked around a moment then threw the ball once Tara was in position.  
  
She didn't move.  
  
Things continued this way for a moment. Him throwing, her standing still. The game continued this way for the next five minutes until the ball went off course; she took advantage of this and ran down the hall, sliding the base across the floor with her feet. The paper skid forward alongw ith it's 'rider' and ran straight into a table, knocking it over.  
  
Angel motioned with her arms. "SAFE!"  
  
"Second opinion."  
  
Ashley tilted her head then shrugged before making the same motion. "SAFE! GAME CONTINUE!"  
  
"What? She can't be safe!"   
  
The popping of a beer top came. "The ball was on the other side of the room, kiddies,"Richard pointed, taking a drink of his beer before studying them all. He motioned toward where Russ had just recovered the ball.  
  
There was a mumbled,"oh", from Tristan then silence.  
  
"GAME ON!" Ashley slumped back into her chair that was lined up in one of the doorways to a bedroom. She leaned back, balancing a fork on the sole of one of her shoes. It balanced until the paper ball was thrown again and Tara ran past, knocking it off. "Technical foul!"  
  
"What? That doesn't count...you ain't the umpire."   
  
To emphasize Tristan's point, Angel blew a giant pink bubble then motioned her arms in the universal sign of SAFE. She smirked after sucking her gum back into her mouth. "She was safe. Next runner!"  
  
"Me, Me, Me! I have magical pixie magic on my side!" Kat ran forward, tripped over one of Ash's outstretched feet, then scrambled up, hissing in a strange imitation of Corey. She leapt onto the 'mound' then stood there. "The Fairy Queen has promised me victory!"  
  
Dead silence followed this statement. Angel forgot to pop her gum; 'the ball' dropped from Russ' hand to roll around the floor, noisily. Ashley glanced at them a moment then shrugged. "Game...on....?"  
  
"Game on!" Russ caught the ball when Tristan threw it then it was passed for severa more moments. Unlike Tara, Kat took off running, caught the ball, then ran from the roof.   
  
"HEY!" The others charged after her, sounding more like a herd of elephants then a group of teenagers and young adults. In the next instant, the group of happily playing youths were a mob, chasing one blonde-haired, slightly demented girl.  
  
John appeared in the doorway but his expression turned weary at the site before him. He glowered only twenty seconds before shaking his head. "It's hopeless. Practice starts in twenty minutes...you got me, mates?" His expression swept through, settling on the ones holding the ball, holding mitts, and those with sharp objects. "I expect all toys and sharp objects to be up, yes?"  
  
"Yes, Uncle Johnny,"came the mumbled reply from the elven gathered youths. They all stared down, ashamed. It wasn't a genuine look.  
  
"Go spit out your gum, shelia.The fight scene's today.."  
  
"Yes! The fight scene!" Angel took off running down the hall and barely avoided hitting several pieces of furniture and the wall. Her hand smacked the wall followed by a loud,"don't jump out at me like that!"  
  
Tristan blinked and glanced toward where she'd vanished. "Did she just ask someone not to jump out at her?"  
  
The others looked around before Ashley spoke what was on everyone's mind. "We're all here; who's Angel talking to?"  
  
"It's called a wall, Ash,"Richard put in, popping the top on a beer. Liquid from it shot across the room to hit a wall and splatter several people. He stared a moment then gave a smile before vanishing from the room.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"VICTORY BELONGS TO KAT JACOBS, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PIXIE FAIRY PRICESS!" Silence for a moment. "PIXIE STIXS FOR ALL."  
  
[ Russ: I'm getting tired of this Pixie Stix nonsense of Kat's. If we wanted Pixie Stixs we'd buy them, right...? *waited for answer but continued after recieving none* The good part is our play; Ashley and I are suppoused to kiss twice. I'm in heaven....I'm still not sure what happened after we got into the alcohol stash before. It's kind of weird, you know? Hello...?]  
  
TWENTY MINUTES LATER  
  
"Today, mates, we'll be shooting a few lines of Romeo and his friends then the great fight scene, commprende?" John studied his cast of 'budding young actors and actresses'; most picked at their nails, played with scenery, or stared into space.   
  
[ Ashley: Why does Russ get more scenes then me? I mean, come on! Anyone that's seen the movie or read the play KNOWS that I am the main attraction... *took a swig from vodka bottle* John's such a dictator and a sexist and a pig and and...ah, hell, I'm out of words. Richard!]  
  
"Yes, Uncle Johnny." The line was growing stale in a short amount of time.   
  
"Set up the scene where Reese and Matthew talk about love....ROLLING." There was a click in the background before the lines began.  
  
Russ began with his opening line. "Is Martina a tender person?" He laughed here, bitterly. "No she's rough, rude, drunk, boisterous and stings like an electric eel."  
  
"She likes it rough does she? How about trying bondage and whips. Whip her for whipping and you shall soon break her spirit!" Richard stared at his paper then watched Russ run off, talking to himself. "Stupid boy! God is he gonna regret ever listening to me!"   
  
(This line and the above one are from Anything but Ordinary3. Thanks, Ellie...)  
  
"I refuse to be discussed that way and that would only end in violence!"  
  
[Richard: Well Ash ran out of words so I fear that I must take over for her... *cleared his throat and took up a sheet of paper, beginning to recite* John is such a dictator and a sexist and a pig and a loser and completely insane and loony. Your honor, the lunatics have taken charge of the asylum! I demand a revote! *something crashed then the screen went blank along with his voice...*]  
  
"Cut! Who added lines to my play?"John demanded, stalking onto the set with a rather large package of sharpies in every color. He took up Richard's script and wrote several, rather large notes in yellow; Russ recieved green notes; Ash's were blue; Angel and Tara recieved hot pink to their horror; Corey got Black; Kellie and Derek recieved orange;Tristan's script ended up entirely purple; Kat was ignored and Natasha recieved gray colored notes.   
  
Natasha cleared her throat then stepped forward on her balcony, making a motion with one hand. "John, have you ever been to therapy?"  
  
"No, shelia."  
  
"You should go. You are WAY too serious...it's a play for fun."  
  
"Fun. Fun? FUN?!" John's voice took on it's 'I'm-a-college-professor-listen-to-me-or-flunk- my-course' tone then he began his lecture on plays. "Plays are not meant to be fun! They are meant to be serious work and alot of effort. Do you think Shakesphere or Rockafeller recieved their awards from fun? No, mates, it was hard work and effort........"  
  
TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER  
  
John flipped a few pages in his script. "Are we all clear on why plays are not just fun? And why John does not need therapy?"he asked without any real interest in their answers. He continued before anyone could answer him, anyway. "We will now begin in ACT I, SCENE IV."  
  
Crickets chirped in the background. No one spoke or turned pages through their script; silence echoed much too loudly.  
  
"The fight scene, shelias. The quick-tempered, brash Terry, cousin to Martina, provokes the equally quick-tempered Matthew into a brawl. Benny, the peacemaker and a friend to Matthew and Reese, tries to break up the fight along with Reese. Upon Reese's intervention, Terry kills Matthew. In retribution later, Reese kills Terry. Tragic...excuse me, mates. I need to control yourself." He turned away, drawing in careful breathes then clearing his throat a few moments later.   
  
Russ raised his hand. "Who plays all these people? Shouldn't Ashley and I know?"  
  
[ John: Why does no one understand my directions? Are they that bad? I don't think so..they're good. Stupid children, stupid house, stupid play. *his script caught fire; he put it out quickly then stood* A few more days and they're gone. Gone for good. See ya later. Bye-bye. However you say good-bye in spanish, french, and italian-those too. A few more days.]  
  
"Matthew will still be played by Richard. Benny is played by Tara. Terry is tentaively being played by Angel, despite her lack of emotio nand feeling toward the character....are we clear?"  
  
"Yes, Johnny."  
  
Russ hesitated to ask his next question. "So this means I get to kill Angel?" His smiled broadened. "How?"  
  
"Russ!" With only a moment's notice between this moment, he was attacked by paper balls, rolls of duct tape, and pencils from the female portion of their cast. He avoided them all until Kat ran by and stuck a long strand of duct tape to his head.   
  
"YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!"he yelled upon ripping the strip from his head. Fuzzy little hairs stuck to the sticky part of the paper and what looked like little white colored flecks. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have lice!"  
  
Ashley stared a moment then pulled Kat aside. "What did you do, Kat?"  
  
"Salt on duct tape. The Fairy Queen told me to do it to Bobby but....he was more fun." Kat smiled a moment, showing bright blue teeth and two cheeks full of colored minature marshmallow chunks. She skipped from the room, whistling something oddly familiar to the 'Three's Company' theme song.   
  
[Angel: Salt on duct tape? Where does she get this stuff...? I mean, I'm suppoused be the most torturous person yet she pulls this stuff? I don't think it should be said 'most torturous'...I need a dictionary. Richard!]  
  
ACT I, SCENE IV  
  
Setting: A public place in the downtown area of Vapdos. Benny and Matthew are having their usual conversation about why the world is going to Hades in a hand basket.....Cankers in the distance arise.  
  
"Why James Brown and Micheal Jackson, here come the Cankers,"Tara said, fumbling in one of her pockets for her duct tape wrapped water gun (originally purple). She drew it forward.  
  
"Why Black Sabbath and ACDC, I don't care." Richard waved them off with one hand.   
  
Angel and several other 'movie extras' a.k.a the camera men entered the stage. For some reason unknown to anyone else, they all carried oversized black bags with Pixie Stixs embrodied into them.   
  
"Come quickly, I will speak for us. You hicks, great day; let me talk to one of you..." Angel approached the two of them as she spoke.  
  
Richard laughed. "One word? Not at all...make it two. Talking and a punch to the jaw."  
  
"Don't push me, player, you give me many occassions."  
  
"Can you take without giving?"  
  
"Matthew, you walk with Reese--"  
  
"Walk! Does that make us a gang? Are we to shoot people up, sell drugs, and hold inititaitons? Yes, walk!"  
  
Tara interrupted the conversation, stepping between the two and holding up one hand toward Richard. "We talk like normal people. Move along to another, less public place and argue about your differences; or get lost. People are staring,"she said, waving her script around about her.   
  
"Let them. I refuse to leave over a few staring morons."  
  
Russ walked onto the set, whistling under his breathe and talking to himself. He was obviously over reading his lines but it was apparant he was on the wrong page.  
  
"Forget you, player. Here's my fellow now." Angel stepped around the two of them and went straight to Reese. "Y-Y-You not-nice-person!!"  
  
"What?" He showed a confused expression.   
  
"Leave Reese alone. You want to fight then fight me..." Richard stepped in-between them and drew his gun, leveling it with Angel. She just stared.   
  
[ Richard: I haven't figured out Angel yet. She's stupid sometimes but others she's...well, smart. What's the deal with that? It's not like Kat. Kat's stupid 24/7 but what's Angel's deal?]  
  
"CUT!" John came onto the stage again, brandishing his megaphone and slightly charred script. "Practice will end for the night. Dinner will be in twenty minutes followed by Karoke night."  
  
Groans echoed the last part.  
  
"From which Kat is banned..."  
  
"Yes, yes, yes, yes." The chant was taken up by all those present in the room.   
  
Kat appeared and immediately began to cry. "I can't sing Karaoke!" Her tears began to to fill up the floor, making a rather large puddle around her.  
  
"Um...maybe she can do just one song...?"  
  
"John!"  
  
KAROKE TONIGHT.......DANCING, TOO  
  
"Tonight, as a present for hard work, we get to have a Karoke night. We will begin with a word from our sponsors..." Tara motioned to the side where the camera soon swung.  
  
Voice Overture: Are you having problems with mice or other pests? No more! The solution is here...duct tape! Notice our three hostages, I mean, roommates, are covered from head to toe except their noses with duct tape. Nothing to worry about now. This production brough to you by DUCT TAPE, INCORPORATED. Ignore the muffled screams and sobs. Sold in praticipating stores now...  
  
"Thank you, Voice. We will now begin with a poll of our audience....who wishes to sing? It's singles for the moment." Her eyes scanned the crowd while she held up the megaphone. She waited a few moments. "Don't be shy, ladies and gentlemen. No one here will make fun you unless you really suck."  
  
Russ' hand tentaivly came up into the air.   
  
"A volunteer!" She jumped off the stage and landed in front of him. She held the megaphone to his mouth. "What will you be singing?"  
  
"Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones."  
  
"Alright then. While he gets ready, let's review our competition..." Tara returned to her stage and brushed away invisible dust from her jeans. It did not good since it was invisible. "We will first have the singles then duets then....bands! Including, yes, including, MINOR DISTORTION!"  
  
Cheers from the audience and a belch from Ashley who was steadily drinking something clear. It could have been either vodka or water; no one was questioning. Scott and Kat sat at the back, whispering conspiritally.  
  
"Presenting....Russ Collins!"  
  
Russ entered the stage, wearing a towel wrapped around his head-turban style. He held their imitation microphone (a flashlight wrapped in duct tape, colored black) in one hand, cleared his throat, then began to sing. His voice was horrible.  
  
"I see a red door and I want it painted black, No colors anymore I want them to turn black, I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes, I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I see a line of cars and they're all painted black, With flowers and my love, both never to come back, I see people turn their heads and quickly look away, Like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday." The song continued at the same speed, depressingly morbid but good, until the 'hmm' verse. For some reason his voice became slightly better at the end. "Hmm, hmm, hmm... Hmm, hmm, hmm... Hmm, hmm, hmm..."  
  
"That's enough!" Tara jumped onto the stage and took the microphone. She held it away from him. "Russ Collins, people."  
  
She wasn't sure if the reaction could count as cheering. Several things hit the stage, several different times.   
  
"Next performer?"  
  
"I'll go...maybe I can impress the ladies with my beautiful voice." Tristan stood then cracked his knuckles together before stretching. He stolled to the stage and gaze out at his audience, adoringly. "I will be singing Children of the Grave by Black Sabbath."  
  
"I like Black Sabbath." It wasn't obvious right away who had said the words. Maybe Tristan would gain points in someone's book....  
  
The song began, quite depressingly morbid....again. Tristan began to sing and his voice wasn't that bad, honestly. "Revolution in their minds, the children start to march, against the world in which have to live, and the hate that's in their hearts, they're tired of being pushed around and told just what to do, they'll fight the world until they've won and love comes flowing through,"he sang, mesmerizing the audience. In the background, several lighters had risen in the air, following the orders of Tara's newly created sign.  
  
FLICK YOUR BIC.  
  
"Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today, will the sun rise up tomorrow bringing peace in any way?, must the world live in the shadow of atomic fear?, can they win the fight for peace or will they disappear? Yeah!" There was silence for a moment with just the melody playing in the background before he continued. "So you children of the world listen to what I say, if you want a better place to live in spread the word today, show the world that love is still alive you must be brave, or you children of today are children of the grave yeah!"  
  
The camera caught on a sign held by Angel and Ravine (yes, that Ravine). WE HEART TRISTAN'S VOICE.  
  
Solo artists continued with Kellie singing Angel by Sara McLachlan, Natasha sang (out of peer pressure) There Is No Arizona by Jamie O'Neal, and John sang Fairies Wear Boots by Black Sabbath, in an attempt at humor. It worked....somewhat.  
  
"Next we have duets! First up..." Tara visibly cringed while staring at the paper. "Kat Jacobs and Scott Summers. Save us, please."  
  
There was a shriek from the back of the room before the two in question ran onto the stage. In under ten seconds....the room was vacated in a retreat to the....BACKYARD.  
  
The lyrics to Tell Me Something Good filled the area despite the newly installed sound system that blasted the tuning of an accustic guitar, drums, a keyboard, and an almost in-tune trumpet .   
  
"You ain't got no kind of feeling inside, I got something that will sho' 'nuff set your stuff on fire,  
  
you refuse to put anything before your pride, what I got will knock all your pride aside, tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me), tell me that you love me, yeah, tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me), tell me that you like it, yeah." The echo could plainly be heard as Scott's voice while Kat's sang most, if not all, the lyrics.  
  
"Volume adjust, Richard!"  
  
Richard adjusted the volume up about four more notches. The singing vanished completely, replaced by the sound of the young band-Minor Distortion. (THEY'RE BACK!)  
  
Tara picked up her drumsticks then hit them together in time to her counting. "One..two..one...two..three...four."  
  
The insturments went into a not so bad rendition of an old Aerosmith song. The words and music flowed easily from the band since they'd had almost three years of practice away from one another.  
  
Janie's Got a Gun was a favorite of the young people. A scary thought if you listened to the lyrics and heard the song's message. It made no sense but who were they to question?  
  
John and the others started a Congo Line that ran through the garden in tune with the band's playing and singing. It continued for twenty minutes before Kat and Scott appeared. Neither appeared happy.  
  
"You didn't listen to our song!"Kat screeched then noticed the Congo Line. "Ohhhh, Congo Line!" She ran over and caught onto Derek's waist, beginning to hum along, tunelessly.   
  
Congo Lines and Minor Distortion's first REAL 'gig' lasted until around one in the morning when Tara decided to go tally the reports from the karoke singing. It took another forty-five minutes to adjust these results into their suitable places and decide the winners.  
  
Everyone gathered around to hear the results. Tara cleared her throat. "In the solo competition, Third Runner up-Kellie. Second Runner up-Natasha First Runner Up-John and our winner...Tristan!"  
  
The sign returned. WE HEART TRISTAN'S VOICE.  
  
"In the duet competition.....there was only one set so-Kat and Scott!"  
  
Boos and rioting followed this.  
  
"Since there was only one band...Minor Distortion are the winners!"  
  
"Yes!"   
  
"We are awesome!"  
  
"I got to tell Mort!"  
  
"Ah hell, I was suppoused to call Remy!"  
  
John listened a moment then shrugged as if nothing mattered. He hit the 'play' button on the CD player and the sound of Oye Coma Va by Santana filled the night air.  
  
"CONGO!"  
  
"Oye!"came the shout before another congo line began to make it's way around the room, pausing for a yell of,"Oye Coma Va!" 


	20. Tournaments and The Last Meal

LAST DAY OF THE UNREAL WORLD and DAY OF THE PLAY  
  
1:30 p.m. (AFTER LUNCH TOURNAMENT)  
  
"Ashley."  
  
"Tasha."  
  
"John."  
  
"Richard."  
  
"Russ." Ashley's shriek of outrage.  
  
"Tristan."  
  
"Hank."  
  
"Kellie."  
  
"Derek."  
  
"Kat."  
  
"David."  
  
"Ah, damn....Scott.."  
  
"We're the alligators!"   
  
"We're the Cantelopes!" They stared at Kat.  
  
"Let the games begin!"  
  
1:45 p.m. (PAPER BASEBALL)  
  
"Who's at bat?" Angel blew a large, purple bubble then fixed the cap over her hair. Strands hung down from the brim, falling into her eyes until she shoved them behind her ears. Furthermore, the hat bore a label for an Australian team. She'd, obviously, been in John's closet...again.  
  
"Natasha,"came the reply from Ashley who stood on the pitcher's mark, chewing on her own mouthful of gum. Lime green. She popped another bubble and gave Angel her best glare/smile. "If you don't catch this little electrical tape and paper ball, I'm going to turn you into a blackened angel. Game on."  
  
The game picked up for a moment with Angel and Ashley tossing the ball back and forth. Natasha ran. She managed a home run with only a few carpet burns on her arms.  
  
"Safe!" Kat made the motion then proceeded to do a 'victory' dance. This consisted of ripping off the movie Grease and it's ending.  
  
"Next to bat."  
  
Hank took his position, glancing to either side then nodding. "I should make the home run since I've calculate the ball speed, the speed of Ashley's reflexes, Kat's ability to count beyond seven, and Angel's preoccupation with the hat..."  
  
"We gonna play or you gonna give the statistics for our lives?"Angel demanded with another pop of gum and adjustment of 'her' hat.  
  
"Game on!" The others cringed from Kat's voice. It was loud.  
  
This round ended much faster. Hank was struck out then began talking to himself while removing a dictionary from within his fur and locating a calculator. He began to furiously skim the pages and type in numbers.  
  
"Mate, you ever been told you're obsessive compulsive?"  
  
"Yes. Several times. Why?"  
  
John shook his head in a sign of nevermind. Their game continued at a slow rate with nothing more happening than Kat taking a ball to the eye, Ashley threatening Russ' life, and several gum-related incidents.  
  
The clock struck....two.  
  
"Switch." John counted off the seconds on his hands that it took for the teams to switch sides. Twenty-nine. Richard took his place at the 'home base' sheet of paper then waited, watching Tara and Kellie toss the ball back and forth while running around like chickens with their heads cut off.   
  
He waited then ran to the sound of cheering from the females on his team. When he arrived back at base he recieved a glare from the eight-year-old and a stuffed Mr. Oreox plus another beer from his cooler.   
  
"Ahh, moles!" Richard screamed then ran off, vanishing into the bedrooms.  
  
The game resumed. Tara struck out most of their players except Richard, who made it everytime and David who, using Mr. Oreox's stuffed skin, terrified most of them into submission. Memories of the previous 'Mole TakeOver' were still fresh in their minds.  
  
"Out!"Kat shrieked, pointing toward the front door and tapping on the out player's head with a bouquet of every colored pixie stixs. She earned a glare for her efforts. "You are out!"  
  
"I can't be out!" Derek glared at her a moment then pointed at her. "You will pay for destroying my chance to succeed."  
  
"Derek, you're an idiot,"Kellie pointed out helpfully. She blew her brother a kiss then threw their newest paper ball covered in electrical tape at him. It hit him in the chest but didn't bounce off, instead, clinging there. "Ooops."  
  
"Enough, paper baseball! Volleyball time.."  
  
"Volleyball!"  
  
2:20 p.m. (VOLLEYBALL GAME)  
  
"Kat, you're suppoused to hit the ball, not run off with it in your mouth!" Tristan smacked her to knock the white ball from her mouth. It hit the ground then rolled; drool slid down one side when he picked it up. "Now that's just gross."  
  
"Bobby would play fetch with me." Kat's expression dropped into depression at the mention of his name. Tears came to her eyes and she burst into sobs. "I miss Bobby!" She ran off sobbing.  
  
There was a collective sigh from the others except Ashley who shook her head. "Now that's just sad. The girl's only been seperate about...uh-oh, um, Richard, did you realize we've been gone for several months?"  
  
"Yeah...Scott's serve,"he called, tossing the ball over the net and rotating with his team members into their new 'set-up'. He adjusted his sunglasses and spread more green-tinted sunscreen over his nose, grinning like an idiot. His little red cooler rested nearby with a beer on top. "Move closer to the net, Angel and David."  
  
Angel saluted him and returned her attention to the volley ball while David simply chose to ignore him.   
  
Scott served the ball, and for his efforts send it bouncing off first one tree then another. No one said a word for a moment then simply turned and walked away. "I'll get it in a moment!"  
  
John waved a dismissive hand toward him, beginning to walk back toward the house. The others followed; Tara's team ducked under the net then caught up, already plotting their next 'game/tournament'.   
  
Kat's voice was heard the loudest. "RED ROVER!"  
  
2:35 p.m. (RED ROVER)  
  
"Red Rover, Red Rover, send Richard right over!"   
  
Richard looked up from his beer, startled then blinked at them. He brightened after a moment and took off running toward the line of people, holding hands. He ran and tried to break between Kat and Scott but found himself instead on the ground with a sore back. "Kat!"  
  
"The Pixie Queen told me to do it,"she insisted, chewing on the ends of several pixie stixs. The different color powders were staining her mouth and down the front of her shirt. She looked ridiculous, like a little kid.  
  
Ashley sighed. "Stop blaming the pixie queen!"  
  
The Alligators, led by The Double A Batteries, took their place after a moment's discussion. "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Natasha right over!"  
  
Natasha walked forward but instead of trying to break simply pushed a moment. She sighed. "Aw, I'm stuck with the Alligators for this round...yippee,"her tone said she'd rather be with them then the others. She caught onto Derek's hand, tightening her grip to the point of drawing blood.  
  
Hank interrupted. "I feel it is my duty as the smartest member of this team, the Cantelopes." He glanced, pointedly, at Kat. "I am to be the sole representer, like in government,"he added for the confused ones benefit. He allowed them time for that to sink in then continued. "We should call their weak members, like David."  
  
"My child!"  
  
"Shut it, Fairy Sucker." Ashley.  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
The Cantelopes clasped hands and held on. With a swinging motion from Kat, they were forced into swinging hands while calling. "Red Rover, Red Rover, send David right over!"   
  
"I will make you all pay in the name of Mr. Oreox!" David dropped the stuffed mole and ran forward, breaking through Kat and Kellie. He cackled for a moment then grabbed Tara's hand. "You've suffered enough."  
  
"I think I'm about to suffer more,"Tara moaned, dragging her feet as he jerked her along to the other side.   
  
John began their 'plotting of who to call next'. "Mates, I think it would be in our best interest to call Tristan."  
  
"He has the perfect voice,"Angel said, getting a dreamy look to her eyes then turning it into a smirk and evil glint. "Call 'im."  
  
"Yes, shelia."  
  
"Red Rover, Red Rover, send Tristan right over!"  
  
Tristan ran and leaped halfway there, trying to jump the arm barrier between Russ and Derek. His body was caught on their hands but it didn't stop him from dragging them around in two circles before knocking the entire line over. Their hands still didn't seperate.  
  
"You're stuck with us, Tristan!"  
  
"Goodie. Will you hold my hand, Angel?"  
  
Angel rolled her eyes but held his hand, cutting off the circulation with her grip. He yelped and rubbed the back of his hand with the other one but didn't release her hand.  
  
Hank began strategy again. "It's getting time to end this silly game. There's still things to do before we get set-up for our play...we have a secret call." He said something, quietly then smiled.  
  
The Cantelopes straightened our their line then yelled,"RED ROVER, RED ROVER, SEND THE ALLIGATORS RIGHT OVER!"  
  
"Who's the Alligators?" Derek stared blankly at them.  
  
David sighed,"It means they want the whole team to come over."  
  
"Oh. Alligators away!" John gave the battle cry before the eight member team came running across and tried to break through. They failed and ended up with everyone on the grassy ground in a heap. "My mates, this is quite the interesting day. I think we have two more activities before setting up for the play and eating dinner. Our Angel shelia, Tara shelia, Ashley shelia, and Natasha shelia have graciously agreed to cook dinner..."  
  
"Angel, Tara, Natasha, and Kat are cooking dinner...?" The guys looked quite petrefied except John and David.  
  
"I love Aunt Angel's cooking."  
  
"Are you completely insane...?" Tristan and Richard stared at the nine-year-old with a look of intense worry.  
  
3:45 p.m. (HIDE-AND-SEEK TOURNAMENT*** Round Four)  
  
"5...6...7...8...9...10..I'm tired of counting...Ready of not here I come!" Russ uncovered his eyes and looked around the room. It was deserted except the waving, wooden door that led into the kitchen. He started toward it, whistling with a fork in each hand, plastic, mind you. "I know where you are."  
  
A cupboard cabinet rattled and he went over, positioning the fork to stab whatever was beneathe it. He pulled open the door, struck out toward it, then yelled and bolted from the room upon meeting...Mr. Oreox.  
  
"Works every time." David scrambled from the cabinet and ran into the living room, settling into their base chair. He clutched the stuffed animal like a favored toy.   
  
Russ continued his search after overcoming his fear of the mole. He walked down the hall, peeking into bedrooms with his forks out in front; he would catch anyone that tried to move. He slipped into John's room and searched the closet, glancing over his shoulder as though he expected a monster. It was empty. A three inch tall blue sneaker slid under the bed.  
  
He struck with the yell of a lunatic and stuck his fork into the still able to be seen part of the shoe. "Ruuuuss! That was my shoe!" Angel's head appeared and she didn't look happy. The other fork floated up and stabbed him in the cheek.  
  
"That's not fair! I'm just playing the game!"  
  
"Are not! You can't stab people with forks during hide-and-seek,"she said, climbing out from under the bed and adjusting her clothes and flicking invisible dust particles from her jeans and rather 'revealing' shirt. "I guess I'm it then. Call the others."  
  
He vanished, screaming,"Angel's it! Everyone can come out now! Angel's it! Angel's it!"  
  
Doors opened and everyone assembled except for Kat. There were several quick glances before they shrugged.  
  
"Game on?"Ashley asked.  
  
Angel pressed one hand over her eyes and sank into the large black recliner, beginning to rock and count. "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8....9....10....11...12....13...Ready or not here I come!"  
  
There came a shriek from outside. She glanced up then shook her head at the sight of Kat jumping from a fiery tree; squirrels were scampering down. She smiled upon seeing the squirrels.  
  
"Nasty little vermin. They should all be roasted." She skipped out of the room and into the next one, calling for random people and checking behind furniture. She found no one despite her search of nearly every room in the house; the only rooms left were John and Natasha's bedrooms. "It's worth the risk to my sanity and health."  
  
She bolted down the hall and into Natasha's room, trying to ignore the destroyed piece of furniture and claw marks on the door. It wasn't her place to ask. "Tasha!!!"  
  
It earned no reaction except giggling from the closet. She walked over, placing one hand over her mouth toward the camera man; she stopped a moment then jerked the door open.   
  
Kat, Kellie, and Derek looked up from the spinning ball of yarn in front of them. They'd tied the end around a coat hanger and were trying to make a sling shot.  
  
Angel shook her head, backing away and into the hall. "I give up. End game! It's time to start cooking...!"  
  
(OUR CAST HAVE WASTED QUITE THE AMOUNT OF TIME ARGUING OVER WHAT TO COOK. THEIR FINAL VOTE? MEXICAN FIESTA!)  
  
5:30 p.m. (KITCHEN...SPECIAL REPORT: DON'T INTERRUPT THE COOKS!)  
  
"Natasha, would you please help cook?" Angel turned away from the stove where she was busy frying hamburger meat. She stirred it around behind her back, watching her friend idly pick at things on the counter.   
  
"I can't I have to, uh.." She cast around for a suitable answer then grabbed the salt container. She poured a large amount out onto the counter then began to play with it. "I have to seperate the salt."  
  
Ashley raised an eyebrow. "Seperate thet salt...?"  
  
"Yes, it's a delicate process,"she said then began to seperate the salt grains into small piles. She pretended to count them while humming some 'heavy metal' song under her breathe.  
  
Tara returned to the tomatoes, lettuce, and olives she was chopping with a shake of her head. "I think you just don't want to cook. Would that be right, Tasha?"  
  
"You're so wrong I can't even hear you."  
  
"Leave her alone, Tara. If Tasha would rather seperate salt into piles, we'll leave her to it, but you may have forgotten one thing." Angel walked over, leaving her nearly browned meet to simmer and cook itself. She picked up the salt container, unscrewed the lid, and dumped the remaining contents onto the counter and her friend's head. "We need all the salt counted."  
  
"If I didn't like you...." Natasha let the threat fade into silence before stomping off. The salt fell from her hair and shoulders, leaving a long trail of white powder; there was the sound of screaming from the next room before a door slammed, water came on, and silence came.  
  
"That wasn't nice, Angel." Tara shook her knife toward her before slicing into another tomatoe.  
  
Ashley hiccuped, taking another drink from her bottle of 'cooking wine'. Tacos and other mexican food didn't call for wine; it wasn't a legitimate truth. "It was still funny to see her stomp off with salt in her hair,"she agreed, beginning to spread some kind of buttery mess across the soft tacos shells. She dumped several pounds of cheese on top of that then stuffed it into the stove, smiling. "Five minutes and...soft tacos are up!"  
  
"Meat's done. Ashley, open the can of refried beans...Ashley? Ashley...?" She looked around the kitchen and noticed that the freezer door was open. She shook her head. She'd just figured out where Hank had hidden all of the alcohol once they'd gotten involved in their game of 'house'.   
  
No one except Richard had alcohol anymore unless they could convince him or someone else to find or buy them something. Their tries were rarely successful.  
  
Tara yelped then stared at her bleeding hand. The knife had cut her palm but she barely acknowledged it except to wash it and wrap it in a make shift bandage; she returned to cutting, ignoring the blood soaking through the bandage. "That hurt."  
  
"Did you wash your hand?"  
  
"Yep."   
  
"Screw drivers for everyone!" Ashley's excited shout drew their attention to the freezer. She stood, just in the doorway, holding up several bottles vodka and a couple of cartons of orange juice.  
  
Tristan appeared in the doorway. "Does someone need a screw driver?"he asked, holding up several different types of real, metal screw drivers.   
  
Angel shoved the door shut with one hand, from the other side of the kitchen, sliding a chair across the floor and under the knob with a kicking motion of her leg.  
  
"See if I ever offer you a screw or screw drivers again!"  
  
"Vegetables are done." Tara had finished her cutting and was now cleaning off her knife and other accessories. She finished cleaning then dug out a large, white spinny thing with several different compartments. "Ash, help me get these things seperated for the mob."  
  
Ashley abandoned her task of mixing somewhere around twenty-four glasses of vodka and orange juice. She left the bottles resting much too close to the edge and walked over, beginning to feel the compartments with toppings for the tacos.   
  
Angel ignored them to open a can of brownish-colored refried beans then pour them into a bowl and shove them into the microwave. She hit a few buttons, watching the bowl spin on it's glass platter while the numbers counted down.  
  
"Wow, this is relaxing,"she mused without looking away. She didn't see the other two giving her strange looks or their shrug before returning to their own task-toppings.  
  
5:45 p.m. (DINING ROOM)  
  
"Wow, tacos with salsa and buttery bread. Thank you, shelias." John gave them each a smile then began to feel his plate, piling the shells down with meat and toppings. He poured salsa of some sort on top before adding beans to his plate. Scott and David followed the example and were soon contentedly eating.   
  
"Is it eatable?"Russ asked, poking the meat with his fork. He picked a spoonful then ate it, chewing thoughtfully. "It's good! I want a double decker taco!"  
  
As if that was all the hint they needed, the other teenagers and chaperones dug in, piling their plates high with every type, flavor, and season of tacos and trimmings.   
  
The cooks- Angel, Tara, and Ashley- and the honary cook- Natasha- waited until last, smirking at their victoy. They had cooked and it wasn't even poisioned or gross. They ate until there was hardly any food left except a few scraps of some things. Tara gave them to Hank to 'lock in a plastic bag and watch for molding'; he gladly took them, thanking her.   
  
Tristan came over after the meal and held one hand out toward them. "I was wrong in saying that you guys couldn't cook it was good,"he said, attempted to kiss them each. He failed. The others came around, as well, and offered their apologies and compliments.  
  
"Mates, it's time for our play!"  
  
7:00 p.m. (TIME FOR THE PLAY)  
  
Voice Overture: As our five months of the first season of the Unreal World comes to a close, we find our children and chaperones hard at work to prepare for their play. The parents and other relatives of the children are arriving. As of this moment, we now have the X-Men entering along with could it be...? Mortimer Toynbee and a gorgeous red head....  
  
Tara looked up and grinned, hurrying over to her brother and throwing her arms around his neck. "Mort, you made it."  
  
"Of course I did, Tadpole. There's someone I'd like you to meet, too." He gave her a brief hug then motioned toward his gorgeous redhead. She came forward, looking out of place in her jeans, boots, and black trenchcoat; the chick looked quite mean but there was a certain smiling quality to it. "Tara Toynbee, this is my fiancee, Nanaki Creed. Nanaki, my little sister."  
  
"Hi, Tara."  
  
Her eyes bugged out at the word fiancee and she gaped at Nanaki's hand. On it, the ring finger, rested a rock with a gold band. It was clearly a wedding band.  
  
"Why wasn't I informed of this...?"  
  
"You tend to have a problem with keeping secrets. How's the play doing?"he asked, keeping one arm securely anchored around his 'fiancee' now. She didn't seem to mind except the tense way she stood. "It can't be taht bad, can it?"  
  
"It's alright. We had to change a few lines...I thought Mags wouldn't let you off?"  
  
Toad shrugged. "He got a religion and ran off on a sabatucal or something. Saber decided to play with a giant ball of yarn, John and his lot decided to start a music group...with little success."  
  
She hesitated to ask her next question. "What about us, Mort?"  
  
"...well, there's some things we need to discuss. Will you excuse us, Nanakins...?"  
  
"Don't call me that." She said it in a thereatening way that made Tara smiled. Maybe Nanaki wouldn't be so bad.  
  
"Mon ange!" Remy swept into the room and picked her up, spinning her around. She clutched his arms and shook her head, telling him not to do it. He set her back on the ground then smiled. "Mon ange, not glad to see her loving Remy?"  
  
"Yeah, Remy, but don't spin me. We just ate mexican...where's Roguey?"  
  
He smiled even brighter. "Roguey be along in a little bit. Everyt'ing been okay at de house?"  
  
"Great, Remy,"she answered, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. She ignored the fact that there was laughter and whisphering behind her. She'd missed him, even the littlest bit.  
  
7:30 p.m. (PLAY TIME)  
  
The play went on without a hitch or even more then a few screw-ups. The ending came along, earning cheers and claps from their audience along with something that MIGHT have been flowers; they weren't completely sure.   
  
Kat broke into song on the stage while the others well saying good-bye to the other Retribution X members.   
  
"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day spread my wings and fly away, I believe I can soar, I see me running through that open door,I believe I can fly!" The words were puncuated with the sharp shrieks and screechs that she referred to as singing. "I used to think that I could not go on! And life was nothing but an awful song! But now I know the meaning of true love! I'm leaning on the ever lasting arms!"  
  
Something shifted suddenly and the wall on one side ripped, revealing something like a black hole. It rested there a moment then began to suck the Retribution X members into it.   
  
Ashley waved to her new found friends while Kat simply belted out the bridge to her song.  
  
"Hey, Tristan!"  
  
He looked toward the voices for a moment.   
  
Angel and Tara smiled a moment then each blew him a kiss. He brought one hand up as if to catch them then pretended to place them in a pocket.  
  
"Bye, Retribution X!"  
  
"Bye, Tara. Bye, Angel. Bye, Unreal World Cast and Crew!"  
  
Tara and Angel didn't move even after their friends and partners in crime had vanished and the hole closed itself up. They just stared, feeling slightly lost without the house to keep them together as friends.  
  
"Guess you go back to the brotherhood. You and Tasha."  
  
"Tasha, yes. Me, no,"she said, smiling then turned to face her best friend since five. They exchanged a look then Angel smiled.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep. Magneto, the buckethead, got religion and left everyone alone. Tasha's still gotta live with her dad but...Mort and I along with Nanaki are joining the X-Manison again. Ain't that great?"  
  
Angel's smile brightened into a smirk. "Terrific. You know, Stormy planted a new garden last week and I know where we can get a bunch of rabbits and goats for cheap. Wanna do an experiment?"she asked, wrapping one arm around her as they made their way outside and over to their waiting 'family'.   
  
"Does it involve that funny way Storm says your name...?" Tara demonstrated.  
  
"Bingo." 


	21. MARTINA AND REESE No Tragedy

CAST OF CHARACTERS  
  
Russ Collins-Reese Map (Romeo Montague) Ashley Donovan-Martina Canker  
  
Richard- Matthew (Mercutio) Corey Desmonds-Parrot (Paris)  
  
Angel Blade-Lebeau-Terry (Tybalt) Tara Toynbee-Benny (Benvolio)  
  
Kat Jacobs-Neptune (Nurse) Derek Senthesis-Father Lance(Fiar Lawrence)  
  
Logan ?- Map (Montague/Romeo's father)Scott Summers-Lady Map (Romeo's mother)  
  
Remy Lebeau- Canker (Capulet/Juliet's father)Rogue Lebeau- Lady Canker (Juliet's mother)  
  
Tristan- Bathe (Balthasar/Romeo's servant)Natasha Creed-Emmajean (Chief of Police)  
  
David Summers and Hank-Sam and George (Capulet Servants N/A)   
  
St. John Allerdyce- Adam (Montague servant N/A)  
  
ACT I, SCENE I  
  
Setting: Downtown Vapdos in 'the slums'. We open out scene in an apartment where Reese Map and Martina Canker are sitting, watching the drama that has taken over their families. A bucket of popcorn and several bottles of alcohol rested on the table but neither seemed worried with them. The apartment isn't the best place in the world but it kept the two lovers safe with their forbidden love. The furniture was shabby and peeling while the paint is barely there and the carpet was an ugly blue color. Oh, sorry, too much information. Let us listen in on their conversation....  
  
Reese paused the tape and gestured toward the screen. "See, Martina, this is our main problem. Your cousin, Terry; she hates me,"he said, motioning to the black and silver clad figure on the screen.  
  
Martina hit him. "Terry hates everyone. It's nothing personal,"Martina told him, taking a handful of popcorn and tossing it into her mouth. Most of it missed. "I mean, here's our real problem..." She took the remote and restarted the tape, fast forwarding; she stopped on another scene and smacked him in the process. "Your parents."  
  
"What's wrong with my parents?" He sat up then frowned slightly. On the screen Map and Lady Map were busy arguing with, of all people...Martina's nuse, Neptune. "Neptune's an idiot that causes problems!"  
  
Another smack. "Okay maybe she is but it's not her fault! What about your friends...Matthew and Benny? They practically think I'm a hoe!"  
  
Reese blinked. "And you aren't?"  
  
"Reese!" She smacked him then stomped off, leaving him sitting alone.  
  
"Ah. Martina!"  
  
After a few more moments of watching, Reese ejected the tape, returned it to it's case, then made his way outside. He stared down, sadden at having upset his one true love. She probably wouldn't talk to him for four hours, like last time. Four hours was a long time when he thought too hard about it and with only his friends to talk to; they were idiots.  
  
"Reese Map, you are under arrest!"the shout was announced from one side. His 'assassliant' arrived in the form of one of his oldest living friends.  
  
He waved off the casual arm Matthew placed around his shoulders. "What is wrong, Reese? Trouble with the ladies, again?"  
  
"Is Martina a tender thing?" He laughed here, bitterly. "No she's rough, rude, drunk, boisterous and stings like an electric eel."  
  
"She likes it rough does she? How about trying bondage and whips. Whip her for whipping and you shall soon break her spirit!"Matthew swallowed, realizing his mistake too late then watched Reese run off, talking to himself. "Stupid boy! God is he gonna regret ever listening to me!"   
  
[ John: Why can't the children just leave my play alone? There is not anything about whips and bondage! I swear, I'll kill them all during the process but my mates are starting to grow on me... *far away look* I fear that I will miss them once they're gone. I need time to process these thoughts, mate.]  
  
ACT I, SCENE II  
  
Setting: Map and Lady Map are sitting on their respective armchairs while trying to ignore one another. Lady Map has begun to polish 'her' fingernails, bright red, while her husband stares at the wrestling match on the television. Their home is a beautiful mansion with flowers everywhere and beautifully colored carpet.   
  
Enter: Reese with electrified hair and a dazed expression.   
  
"Son, has something happened?" Lady Map leapt up at 'her' son's appearance and ran forward, engulfing him in a hug.  
  
He twitched within 'her' arms then pushed away. His hair tried to cling to 'her' velvety clothes but with no effect. "I'm fine."  
  
"Are Matthew and Benny to blame? Off with their heads!" The words were screamed towards 'her' husband; he ignored them.  
  
"No, Mom." Another twitch. "I'm going out tonight with my friends...is that alright or do I need permission?"  
  
"You could at least pretend to ask permission so I could deny it,"Map said, flipping the channel and taking a long 'slurp' from his beer. "Then that THING would give you permission."  
  
"Logan, this is our son!"  
  
"Not mine."  
  
Reese sighed. "Can I go out with my friends tonight?"  
  
"No,"he answered without looking away but popping the lid on another beer. He placed it to his mouth and drank, ignoring them. Again.  
  
Lady Map nodded and patted the top of his head. "Of course, Reese. I'd recommend taking a shower first since your hair is sticking up and it looks like you stuck a fork in a light socket..." 'She' returned to her throne, taking up the lighter colored nail on her left hand; the pinky. "Now go on, son."  
  
He nodded then walked off, mumbling something about,"i'm going to kill Matthew for interfering,"followed by a sluew of curse words. He stalked upstairs and into his bedroom, slamming the door shut.   
  
It only took about twenty minutes for him to shower, change clothes, and get into his 'clubbin' mode. He searched through his desktop drawer then withdrew the ring of keys that were hidden there; they dangled from his hand, making a tiny twinkling sound.   
  
Reese left his bedroom, pulling the door shut and locking it from the outside with his key. It wouldn't do to have his parents fine his shrine to Martina; it was in the closet, underneathe a pile of clothes.  
  
"I'm going out. I'll see you later!" He was almost outside when his father's voice stopped him.  
  
Map's gaze no longer rested on the tv but on his son. "Reese, have you taken care of the Cankers yet...? Mainly Terry Canker; she's an abomination."  
  
"Uh...I'm working on it. What do you think I plan to do tonight? I have a uh, meeting. Yeah, a meeting. See you, Dad." He left, hurriedly with only a brief glance at his 'mother' before hurrying out the door and over to his truck; bright purple with darker flames. His mind began to play out what he would do that night. Despite what he'd told his father, he'd meet Martina and only Martina tonight.  
  
ACT I, SCENE III  
  
Setting: A bar....THE SILVER LIZARD LOUNGE (don't you just love that name?). At a table in the back sit Martina accompanied by several of her cousins, including the infamous Terry Canker, who has become quiet interested in her glass of half-drunk liquor; no one had figured out where Terry got liquor from.   
  
"What are you pouting about, Tina?"Terry asked, stirring her drink with a half straw then glancing at her cousin. She tipped the glass up and drank the last of it. "Is Uncle Canker being a jerk again?"  
  
"It's nothing, Terry. I think I need to go and uh...get something to drink. I'll be back shortly." Martina gave her cousin a smile then stumbled up, making her way away from their table and across the lounge, ignoring the several rude comments made. She pulled back away when a hand caught her wrist and yanked her into one of the less often used hallways. "Let go of me! I know karate and CPR!"  
  
"Baby, you can do CPR on me anytime." Reese's smirking face met her.  
  
She smacked him. "Stop doing that to me!"   
  
He blinked. "I've only done it once,"he said then leaned down, staring at her. He played with a strand of her hair, twisting it around one finger. "I'm sorry about the hoe comment before. Can I have a kiss?"  
  
"Sure." She smiled and leaned up, placing her mouth close to his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck. She leaned up and whispered, somewhat lovingly, into his ear. "Your breathe smells horrible." She hesitated a moment then kissed on the cheek before releasing her arms.  
  
"Please tell you're not here with Terry..." Reese leaned back against the wall, watching her.  
  
"I'm not here with Terry,"she said, as usual then smiled at his irritated expression. She shook her head. "Who else do I go clubbin' with, Reese?"  
  
"I don't know. Come on, I'll buy you a drink,"he said, starting to take her arm; she pulled away.  
  
"No. Have you talked to your parents about us?"  
  
"I can't, Martina. I'm the son of the most powerful mutant in the world! I can't just tell him that I'm in love with a human..." He regretted it, immediately when she stalked off. "Martina!"  
  
She ignored him and stalked over to her cousin, sitting back down. She ordered another drink then sat, glaring across the room and gulping it down.  
  
Terry watched her for a moment then raised a questioning eyebrow. "Is there something I should know about, Tina?"  
  
"Nope. Some guy made a pass at me." She took another gulp from her drink and tapped her long, overly black painted, fingernails. Her eyes remained across the room where she'd last left Reese. He wasn't present.   
  
"Need me to stage another suicide?"   
  
"No!" Martina cleared her throat then gave a half smile. She played with her drink. "I mean, I'll just forget the entire incident. Would you go pay for our drinks while I finish mine? I'd rather just go home."  
  
She nodded in the sympathetic way that made her look less theatening. It barely worked. "Alright, but remember, Tina darling, I'd kill for you. I already have."  
  
"Yes, Terry." She didn't move until her cousin had gone then snatched one of the sheets of 'lottery numbers' from the table. She dug a pen out of one pocket then wrote down a message, standing to scan the club.  
  
Reese was easy enough to find. He was standing with Matthew and Benny, the idiots. He was leaning against the table with a beer but hadn't look away from her yet. The scowl he wore was familiar enough.  
  
Martina stood and made her way over to them, delibertly making a show of looking for something on the floor. She made a point to run into Reese and in the process, slipped her hand into his pocket, dropping the note she'd created.   
  
He made a production of grabbing her arms and shoving her slightly against the wall. It was a put-on for his friends.  
  
"Next time watch where you're going, homo sapien,"he sneered before pushing himself away and returning to his friends. Matthew gave him a slap on the back around laughter while Benny simply looked in her direction but shook her head. Benny made no move to join them or go to Martina's aid.  
  
She scowled and mumbled, before stalking away. "Trust me. I will, mutie."  
  
Reese waited until she was gone, listening to his friends recounts of the incident with Martina to others, then read the note under the table.  
  
Meet me at the balcony. Time doesn't matter but don't make anymore comments like your previous ones. You're on thin ice, relationship wise. Love Always, Martina.  
  
ACT I, SCENE IV  
  
Setting: Outside Martina's apartment. In the alley way, Reese has made his way over and is standing there, tossing various 'purple glowing' rocks toward the window. They hit then fall off without an effect. The window came up and she looked down, scowling.  
  
"Where were you?"  
  
"My love! It is the sun and Martina is the moon. Others pale in comparison; she is more beautiful then they could hope to be! No more their shadow but their conqueror. I wish she knew how much I loved her."   
  
"Shut up, Reese. Flattery isn't the key here. Do you really think I'm a hoe?"  
  
Reese shook his head and held one hand toward her, climbing onto the ladder until he reached the landing just below her. He took one of her hands. "Of course not, love. I wish you would marry me; we could be happy."  
  
"I can't anymore then you can ask me to."  
  
"Then give yourself to me and forget that I'm a map!"  
  
She laughed. "To be honest, and give myself to you again. I wish I could give what is not mine to give. My reputation is large as the oceans and my love is deeper; the more I give, the more I have for both are endless."  
  
Neptune's voice rang out from inside. "Get in here, child!"  
  
Martina sighed with impatience then waved him away. "There's voices and I'm not schizophrenic. I'll be there in a minute, nurse! My darling, stay. Wait for me, I will return,"she said before vanishing back into her apartment and shutting the window.   
  
She reappared, although her expression was irritated and her face turned slightly reddish-green with what looked like tomate paste and gucamole. "Go to bed, Reese and good night. If you really love me send me a diamond ring and a marriage proposal the day after tomorrow, include the date and time. I will give up everything for you and follow my love where he leads."  
  
"Get in here!" Neptune.  
  
"Shut up a minute. I'm getting some fresh air!"  
  
"Get in here!" Neptune again.  
  
"Give me a minute! Leave me to my misery, Reese..." At this point, Martina burst into tears and fled through her window, slamming it shut, with a final shriek from Neptune.  
  
Reese placed a dramatic hand against his heart. "I wish I could have my life, my Martina by my side. I love her and wish her only happiness...yet it could only be with me that she would be happy. Parrot could never make her happy as I have."  
  
"Reese!"  
  
"Reese, you are under arrest. Put your hands up and leave the apartment!"  
  
He scowled and jumped down, coming out of the alley, hands up. He'd decided to humor his friends even through their stupidity; he waited until they'd come up.  
  
"What would my crime be this time?"he asked, giving them a smirk and ignoring the guns they held on him. He was almost positive that they were empty but didn't feel like testing it. "I haven't done anything."  
  
"Yet. You are under arrest for failing to get drunk with your friends and stumbled home in a drunken stupor to deal with your father's wraith.." Matthew threw one arm around him and yanked him forwards, beginning to walk.  
  
"My father. I was suppoused to take care of someone today." He frowned then placed his hands over his face. He muttered several curses. "I have to go."  
  
ACT II, SCENE I  
  
Setting: A small 'drive-thru' wedding chapel in downtown Vapdos. Reese's black car pulled into a parking place then the two got out of the car; Neptune attempted to follow but became stuck in the car. Martina looked back at a shout.  
  
"Help! I'm locked in the car!"  
  
"Neptune, there's no roof to my car. You're not locked in."  
  
"Help me! I can't get out!"  
  
Martina walked over and open the door, pasting on a suprised expression. She placed one hand against her mouth with a gasp. "It opened."  
  
Bathe rolled his eyes. "Are we quite through, Mr. Map? I have other duties besides dealing with the stupidity of this...woman." His expression was less then pleased.   
  
"Of course. Martina, darling, shall we?"  
  
She didn't look at him, more intent she was on the three-stoned, rather large diamond ring she wore. It winked at her and she smiled after accepting the arm Reese offered. He led her into the church, talked to the preacher, and set up everything for their weddings. In under twenty minutes, they were standing in front of the preacher.  
  
Bathe and Neptune stood nearby, trying rather hard to ignore each other. She was crying and he kept glancing toward the door as if waiting for something. Nothing happened.  
  
Their preacher cleared his throat and pointed to himself. "I am Father Lance. Are you two the happy couple?"  
  
Martina looked at her wedding gown then gave him a dry smirk/smile. "Aren't you intelligent?"  
  
"Martina, be nice to the man who will marry us."  
  
And marry them he did. Within one hour, one hour of Neptune's sobbing and Bathe's glances at the door, they were married and could be together freely. Their kiss hadn't lasted very long but it was all the same.  
  
"We're finally married."  
  
"Yay. Don't mention this to your friends..."  
  
He smiled. "I wouldn't."  
  
"That didn't help any." Her reply was sarcastic.  
  
"I'm sorry...?" Silence a moment. "Martina!"  
  
ACT II, SCENE II  
  
Setting: Downtown in a city square. Matthew and Benny are talking while wandering along one of the lower level beaches. They are into good natured rough treatement, complete with shoving and play fighting.  
  
Enter Terry and several others of the Canker household. Her expression isn't pleased and turns worse at the sight of them; she strolled forward, scowling.  
  
"Why James Brown and Micheal Jackson, here come the Cankers,"Benny pointed out, glancing at her friends in a warning gesture of silence. Both the look and she, herself, were ignored.  
  
"Why Black Sabbath and ACDC, I don't care." Matthew waved them off with one hand.   
  
For some reason unknown to anyone else, the Cankers all carried oversized black bags with Pixie Stixs embrodied into them.   
  
"Come quickly, I will speak for us. You hicks, great day; let me talk to one of you..." Terry approached the two of them as she spoke.  
  
Matthew laughed. "One word? Not at all...make it two. Talking and a punch to the jaw."  
  
"Don't push me, player, you give me many occassions."  
  
"Can you take without giving?"  
  
"Matthew, you walk with Reese--"  
  
"Walk! Does that make us a gang? Are we to shoot people up, sell drugs, and hold inititaitons? Yes, walk!"  
  
Benny interrupted the conversation, stepping between the two and holding up one hand toward Matthew. "We talk like normal people. Move along to another, less public place and argue about your differences; or get lost. People are staring,"she said, waving her script around about her.   
  
"Let them. I refuse to leave over a few staring morons."  
  
Reese walked onto the set, whistling under his breathe and talking to himself. He was obviously still in his own personal bubble about being married to his love despite his father's irritation at his vanishment the previous night.  
  
"Forget you, player. Here's my fellow now." Terry stepped around the two of them, shoving them aside and went straight to Reese. "You not-nice-person!!"  
  
"What?" He showed a confused expression.   
  
"Leave Reese alone. You want to fight then fight me..." Matthew stepped in-between them and drew his gun, leveling it with Terry She just stared before drawing her own. "I challenge you to a duel."  
  
"On the beach?" There was obvious amusement in her voice.   
  
"Where else?"  
  
"Seven paces?" The other Cankers stepped back at a look from their 'leader', Terry. She nodded then tightened her gun hold.  
  
Benny tried once more to stop them with failure, even Reese was useless between the two. Within a few moments the two had walked their paces and turned toward one another. On a last though, Benny stepped between them, facing Matthew. "Matthew, this would be a mistake. Don't do this."  
  
Terry fired. The shot caught Benny in the back of the head and she collapsed; blood began to turn the sand around her head. Reese and Matthew both rushed to her side, kneeling.   
  
"Benny..? Benny, are you okay? Say something."  
  
Her eyes opened her eyes a moment and glared at first them then toward Terry's crew. "You will pay for killing me. I will have my revenge,"she said through clenched teeth before her eyes closed.  
  
"No.." Reese looked up, just in time, to see the Cankers running. Anger hit him at their cowardice toward their friend. He stood and clenched his hands into fists, starting after them.  
  
"Reese!" Matthew's voice was there, but he shook his head.  
  
"Stay with her. I'll make Terry sorry." He ran until he came upon them in the park that was most commonly associated with their group. He entered, daring anyone to stop him; no one did. "Terry, you killed Benny."  
  
"Uh...I think I should be going." Her expression showed real fear for the first time in a long time.  
  
"No. You've killed one of my friends, you won't kill another." He moved before she or anyone else could react and caught one of her arms. It began to glow purple then he released her arm; nothing happened for a moment. The others relaxed but their relaxation was all the time it took for Terry to bring the gun up and shoot herself; Reese smiled. "That's for Benny."  
  
Sirens echoed in the distance. He grimaced then shook his head. "I'm cursed!" He stayed only a moment longer then vanished into the night, running.  
  
ACT II, SCENE III  
  
Setting: Vapdos. Several members of the house of Map and Cankers are gathered, including the parents of the children. Emmajean, the chief of police, is at the scene.  
  
"Reese is exiled. If he enters the city limits, he'll be shot on sight."  
  
ACT II, SCENE IV  
  
Setting: Martina's bedroom. The window is closed and bolted along with the door. Martina, herself, laid across her bed, staring at her ceiling. She was crying but it was obvious she had been at one point or another. Canker's voice and fist banging on the door are heard.  
  
"Martina, open this door or you're grounded until sixty-seven!"  
  
"Good! That's only another forty-three years!" She picked up her alarm clock and chunked it at the door, smiling when it shattered into pieces. It was Terry's fault that anything was wrong. It was always Terry's fault. Ever since they were children, it was her fault.  
  
"As your father, I command you to open this door!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Parrot is waiting to speak with you,"he said, quietly but she could sense the underlying threat. His patience was slowly fading out with her behavior but she didn't care. All she cared about then was Reese. "He's here to see you."  
  
"Tell Parrot to go stuff a cracker down his throat!!"  
  
Her mother's voice came next. "Martina, luv, open the door. You don't have to do anything you don't want.."  
  
"You're lying to me again."  
  
"Martina!" His fist hit the door again. She ignored it.  
  
She had almost fallen asleep when the door was removed from it's hinges. She still didn't move to get up from her bed but laid there, staring at the ceiling. Neptune said something but was ignored for her efforts.  
  
"You are coming downstairs to speak with Parrot if I have to drag you, Martina."  
  
"Do it." Her voice was stone cold and her eyes even harder.  
  
In the next instant, Martina found herself downstairs and in front of the waiting Parrot. He smiled and attempted to kiss her hand; she jerked away at the last moment. His mouth met empty air.  
  
"You look beautiful, Martina."  
  
"Right and the Easter Bunny did my hair." She gaze him a glare that could kill anyone. It didn't work on Parrot.  
  
Parrot removed a box from one pocket and went on one knee before her, holding out the box, now open. The diamond ring glittered inside; she stared at it with boredem. Reese's ring rested around her neck on a chain, out of anyone's view sight; she only wore it when they were together, alone.  
  
"Will you marry me, Martina Canker?"he asked, smiling.  
  
She felt sick and shoved away from him, running off in the direction of her bedroom. She changed course but this time fled through the front door, ignoring Neptune's obvious curiousity. It was sick that her father expected her to marry when her real love was exiled. He couldn't return or he would be killed. Couldn't anyone see her pain?  
  
Bathe met her outside her family's grounds. "Reese wishes your prescence."  
  
"Take me to him." She took her ring from it's chain and slipped it on, glaring at him in pure hatred. At the moment, she hated everyone that was involved with either of them; she hated everyone. "Now."  
  
ACT III, SCENE I  
  
Setting: Father Lance's study. He is intent upon making something that sits before him. Martina is pacing the length of his study while playing with the lighter she held; every few moments there was a sharp in take of breathe as she burned herself.  
  
"Stop, Martina. It's almost complete."  
  
She froze in mid-step, facing away from him. "Will Matthew or Bathe be giving my message to Reese?"  
  
He nodded. "Of course, child. He will know. Be careful of the time that you take it...it only lasts thirty-six hours,"he said, pouring the mixture into a vial and capping it. He stared a moment then held it toward her. "You two are meant for each other."  
  
"Yeah, right. Tell that to our parents and the rest of the world." She took the vial, gave him a smile, then vanished from the study with her prize. She hurried home without a word to anyone except a brief greeting to Neptune.   
  
ACT III, SCENE II  
  
Setting: The dining room in the Canker household. Canker and Lady Canker are having dinner with their daughter, who is very somber, while several servants-Sam and George-serve dinner. Their conversation is light but apparantly forced.  
  
"Parrot has asked for our daughter hand in marriage." Her father's boasting tone.  
  
"Is this true, Martina?"  
  
Martina nodded, stirring her food around. "Yes. I told him yes earlier today when we met,"she said then was forced into relating the entire conversation. It was true. She had agreed to marry him but it was to ensure she'd be left alone; there were things be done.   
  
Bathe was taking care of Reese but that was already being finished.  
  
Lady Canker touched her daughter's cheek and studied her. "Are you feeling alright, Martina?"  
  
"Yes, mother. I'm fine...could I go upstairs and rest? It seems my wedding has been set for tomorrow." Her gaze slid, pointely, to her father. He feigned interest in his food.  
  
"Of course."  
  
She vanished from the room quickly and into her room. She debated whether to take the drug now or leave it alone. She decided to wait until morning.  
  
ACT III, SCENE III  
  
Setting: Canker household. Sirens are screeching while police officers and paramedics run around the house. Lady Canker has been sedated and sent to her room while her husband is furious; he has all but disowned his daughter at this point for her "cowardice way out".  
  
Enter to the side Reese, in disguise, with Bathe. They prescence is ignored.  
  
"It's a shame. Such a young, beautiful girl. Second incident like this in one week. I don't knwo how these people deal with it all..." One of the medics shook his head.  
  
"What was her name again?"  
  
"Martina Canker." The medics loaded her body into the ambulance then pulled away.  
  
Reese made an anguished sound then fled the scene, ignoring Bathe's words to him. He couldn't believe she would do this to him; to them; to their love.  
  
ACT III, SCENE IV  
  
Setting: The mosoleum where the Canker ancestors and other deceased relatives are buried. Reese has gone to say his o anguished good-bye to Matina; he holds half-empty bottle of alcohol.  
  
Enter Parrot with a large bouquet and stuffed bear.  
  
"Awful Map, what are you doing at the grave of my beloved?" Parrot drew his gun and motionted it toward the other man, ignoring his emotionless response. The flowers and bear fell from his arms with a single look.  
  
"You wanted to take her away and she didn't want you. You killed Martini!"  
  
There came a voice, Martina's voice, within the tomb. "Martina, not Martini, you moron!"  
  
Reese looked sorry a moment then shrugged. "Sorry, dear. I'll fix it. You killed Martina!"  
  
Parrot shook his head. "Martina killed herself over grief for her cousin, Terry. A cousin you killed...her blood is on your hands." He pulled the trigger. The bullet had no effect except to enter his hand and lodge there; Reese approached, slowly without saying anything further.  
  
He didn't speak until he'd reached Parrot and placed one hand against the stone mosoleum. His expression was empty as were his eyes. "You killed her. At least in death, we'll be together..." The stone mosoleum wall collapses, crushing the would-be suitor under it's weight.  
  
Reese watched a moment then returned to his place by Martina. He sat there for a long time, talking to her lifeless body and drinking until the body was empty. It took several hours but he passed out, laying beside her on the ground.  
  
Sometime within the dead of night, Martina awoke to her darkened tomb and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. She felt refreshed but it was short lived when her gaze fell on Reese. She scrambled from the coffin and knelt beside him, shaking him slightly.   
  
"Reese? Reese...? Oh, he's dead." She shook him harder then bent down, kissing him lightly. Her expression turned thoughtful. It went somewhere between joy and irritation. "Not dead, only drunk and passed out."  
  
Martina waited until sometime the next morning when he awoke, hungover and mumbling incoherently. She gave him a smile and straightened out his unruly hair then smacked him.  
  
"Don't ever drink my alcohol again. You had me thinking you were dead!"  
  
"Me? You were lying in a mosoleum, in your own tomb!"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. Wanna run off to Vegas?" Reese stood, stumbling slightly.  
  
She placed one arm around his waist, wrapping on of his around her shoulders to steady him. She gave a shrug then began to walk almost dragging him behind her.  
  
"Sure, why not? It's not like there's much to hold us here."  
  
"Can we take Matthew...?"   
  
"No."  
  
"Please..?"  
  
Martina shook her head. "No."  
  
ACT III, SCENE V  
  
Setting: Vegas. In a casino where Reese and Martina are playing slots; at a nearby table a familiar face is playing dealer to a group of tourists.  
  
"Anyone ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?"the strange dealer questioned with each passing of the cards. He glanced past them toward the two young people.  
  
Several of the players nodded while remaining intent upon their game.  
  
"It's a fluke. The real story's about a good friend of mine, Reese Map and his lovely but a hoe wife, Martina..."  
  
Something like a laugh came from Reese.   
  
Martina smacked him then stalked off, scowling. "I'm not a hoe!"  
  
END  
  
UNREAL WORLD CAST: *comes forward and bows*  
  
Kat: "You like me! You really like me!" *she burst into song about ' I Believe I can Fly' *  
  
REST OF CAST: "Ahhhhhh!" *run from the house, screaming bloody murder*  
  
John:*stood there then smiled, broadly* "The play wasn't so bad. Maybe I actually like them after all...I'm going to miss those kids. *shook his head then went to the computer, sitting down. He opened a new document and typed the title and sub title.* "The Unreal World. A series by St. John Allerdyce....." 


End file.
